To ask what your 11/12 yo does around the house?

[tiredandnotfeelingveryblessed]

Ds1 has kicked off massively today. No one else at school has to do jobs around the house and no one else has to earn screen time. He's 12yo in y7. Currently he has to:

-keep his room tidy ish and put his laundry away
-do half of the dishwasher, unloading and loading
-lay the table for supper whilst it's being cooked and help clear the table afterwards
-brush the dog daily
-help out with other tasks when asked

The dishwasher and dog has to be done when he gets home from school, before he's allowed to go on a console or whatever.

Aibu?

4& 6 year old

Empty all the bins
Put their own washing in the washing machine
Hoover all rooms
And feed the cat

My son when he was 11 did the above plus

Iron his own clothing
Wash his own clothing
Make his own lunch
Load the Dish washer and take the bin out

DC11:
Load/ unload dishwasher & put it on
Keep room tidy
Sort own dirty laundry/ put away clean laundry
Take dog outside for wees (we are in a downstairs flat)
Take the recycling to the bin store
Keep table clean and tidy
Clean up kitchen when asked

DC7:
Ditto dishwasher
Ditto room
Ditto laundry
Ditto table
Ditto kitchen
Feed dog

It has taken the past two years to get them to this level and a lot of the hard work has been since Xmas when we moved into this flat.

SD 7 with SEN:

• washes breakfast bowels and mugs daily
• wipes dining table twice a day
• sweeps kitchen floor daily
• makes own bed daily
• helps with her baby sister
• helps with other jobs e.g. laundry

She doesn't do them all perfectly but as long as she's trying it isn't an issue. She does randomly throw a strop but as she doesn't want to be considered a baby and likes telling everyone what she can do, it doesn't last long.

Two boys, 11 and 12.

Dishwasher (empty and restack)
Lay and clear table
Put dirty clothes in laundry basket
Sort clean laundry and put their own away
Feed dogs and pick up poo from garden
Keep guinea pigs food/water/hay topped up, clean out once a week
Strip and remake beds
Cook dinner occasionally (they’ve both helped out in the kitchen since they were tiny so they can both cook pretty well)
Bring us tea & coffee
Do homework
Go to karate 5 days a week

They like washing the cars and the dogs so they do that for fun.
They used to feed the chickens and collect the eggs but we don’t have any currently.

They do more than their friends but it’s part of being in a family - we all muck in and get the chores done, and then we can play games together. DS1 also cleans up vomit (dogs and DS2 occasionally) because he knows DH has problems kneeling and I throw up if someone is sick within a mile of me (exaggeration, yes).

Mostly shed outfits in piles on their floor.....inhale food.....create nests out of fleeces and cats.....and perfect their eyeroll.

DS is 12. He has to empty the dishwasher, feed the chickens, collect the eggs, put his laundry away, and if it wasn't PE that day, do a run, swim or cycle in the evening.
And he doesn't have a console...

DD11, with a bit of nagging:
Feeds guinea pigs and cleans cage
Takes dog out at lunchtime
Sets and clears table
Helps with washing up
Puts her clean washing away
Tidies her room
Prepares her breakfast and afternoon snack and clears it away
Does dusting for extra pocket money

My DD is 13 but has been doing the following for the last two years at least:

Organises and packs school bag
puts all her ironing away
will put washing on and hang out on the line
feeds cats and brushes them
tops water bowls
will vacuum if asked
keeps her room tidy.

She also helps meal plan, checks for ingredients and helps do a shopping list.

Following because I posted a question about what chores to give my DS12 and DSD11 and have had no replies!

Mine:
Feeds hamster
Makes her bed
Puts her dirty clothes in wash
Tidies her room

It's barely anything really, would take 10 minutes tops if she just bloody got on with it, but she still moans at how NO ONE ELSE has to do ANYTHING.

Ours don't have chores, never have. You only get one chance at being a child and will spend the rest of your life doing these things.
They've all been taught to iron when they had CCF kit because it was their choice to do CCF.
In Y13 they have to cook for the family once a week so I can be sure they've got the basic skills although they've helped out with cooking, baking and the like along the way.
We're not letting them out in the world thinking others will do these things for them but we're happy for them to enjoy their childhood free of such boring responsibilities. It was the same for DH and I growing up and we're both capable adults.

Childhood is about learning how to function as an adult. Part of that is learning "boring" age appropriate things like personal care and learning how to cook, clean and tidy. Young children are proud to "help" with such things and older ones can have a real sense of achievement. They learn to take responsibility for something and to make a concrete contribution to family life. What's not to like?

OP, you ANBU.

My 7 year old isn’t allowed screen time during the week, so he doesn’t ‘earn’ anything, he just has to do his chores. These include emptying lunch box, putting his own laundry away, tidying dining table before dinner, picking toys off living room floor and hoovering it. The hovering is his favorite one, I asked him to do it once while rushing and he happily took it on.

Also interesting to see some people don’t believe in chores. My husband grew up in a family of four kids but with a mon- fri housekeeper and au pairs. He needs to be told when to do things around the house and wouldn’t pull his weight if I hadn’t insisted upon it and made sure he did. So I dont want my kids being like that! I keep the chores age appropriate - my four year old has to make her bed and put her laundry in the drawers and that’s it.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. My ds is only five and he sets the dinner table, takes plates out, puts toys and books away in his bedroom, makes his bed and puts his dirty laundry in his washing basket.

He also doesn't get screen time unless floors are clear of toys (baring lego models he might have made, or train tracks he's set up etc), because you can't watch cartoons /play on a kindle and be playing with toys at the same time.

Most of this is gently prompted (except taking plates out and putting dirty laundry away).

I don't think what you are asking is too much for for an 11yo at all.

A while since my DC were 11 - but I can still remember
Do their own ironing
Make own packed lunches
Keep own rooms clean and tidy
Bring me their washing on regular basis
Rota for washing up

Mine take the bins out once a week through rain and snow.
Empty the dishwasher
Clear their plates after dinner
Make their own packed lunches and put them away when they get home
Tidy their rooms and the playroom once a week
If they run out of clothes before I get to the washing, run a load
Do other jobs ad hoc when asked

Ha ha what a collection of perfect children everyone has! Who would have thought!

I strongly believe in normalising helping with jobs around the house st a young age. If you don't start at X age, it all becomes a shock when you want them to help at 16 or 18 etc...

I have 10, 8 & 3 & all help to some extent -

3 year old will help empty the dishwasher, put her own clothes in the washing basket & help take clean clothes to her room. She also loves to push the hoover, but more hinderance then help,

The older ones will help tidy toys etc out of sitting room, empty the dishwasher, bring down their washing & put it on & take clean clothes up to their own drawers, will also help hoover but easier to do myself.

Everyone needs to help out and do whatever needs to be done.
My dc keep their room tidy, deal with their own laundry and help out as and when.
I’m helping them to become responsible adults and I actually want to have an easy life and not be the house servant.

Mine is expected to keep her room relatively tidy
Bring her washing down and put it away again
Help tidy toys up downstairs before dinner
Get her own breakfast
Go to the shop if I have forgotten something I need that evening or for pack lunches (very rarely, and she enjoys this)
Clear own plate cup etc from the table
Keep an eye on her 1 year old brother 1 day in 4 ( alternating with other siblings) while I cook dinner (this gets them out of helping clear up toys for dinner)

From another point, both my parents worked full time, so in the summer before I joined senior school my DF taught me how to iron properly (school shirts and creases in trousers etc) and my DM taught me about doing laundry (splitting colours, temps, fabrics that shouldn't be in the machine etc etc). This was over and above the chores such as taking bin out when asked, filling/emptying dishwasher, feeding dog.
Anyway, when my younger DB followed me to senior school 4 years later, the same instruction never happened as I was already in a great routine with keeping our uniforms ship shape for a Monday morning.
Moral of the story. I'm 36 now and can iron like a demon and keep on top of a full time job plus running a house - standard shit. My DB is a 32yo man child because he's never had to do it. Transitioned from my parents house to a house with a wife and now she does it all. Whilst I hated doing such chores as a kid, I recognise the value now. As a parent now, I also realise my parents were spot on

Wow peoples kids do a lot!!!

Our kids (including an 11 year old) take it in turns do the dishwasher and bins - 3 kids do 1/3 each, though the youngest (7) gets help from either a parent or sibling with things he physically can't manage - actually putting the Wheely bin out etc.

His bedroom is his problem but if he wants to live in a tip he can, not my problem. We have strictly no eating nor drinking except water upstairs and no shoes on in the house (rules DH and I follow too) so rooms can only get messy, and if he runs out of preferred clean clothing that's also his problem (no uniform here).

Put own washing in the basket and put own clean washing away.

Help bring supermarket shopping inside and out away if asked.

Pick things up before the cleaners come (do his share, not all of it).

He cooks a family meal occasionally, usually if I'm away or on a late. 13 year old cooks a lot more often.

I don't make them earn screen time though, I actually find that quite weird. They have time limits on their PCs and the Xbox and on internet access via phone.

Homework is the only thing which has to be done before screens or going outside, he manages his own time quite well and rarely has to be told twice.

Obviously they all pack their own school bags, and have since they started school, that's not a chore though - that's like saying showering and getting dressed is a chore!