To think we could ever work out in the future?

[Soundsgoodtome]

I have someone special in my life and we’ve known eachother and been close for over ten years . The timing is all wrong. For reasons such as location, children, career and various parent and family commitments, we simply cannot make a go of things.i expect that in ten or so years Into the future , our lives won’t be as frantic and committed to outside influences. We know eachother ten years and have only got closer as the years go on .there is no issue with infidelity or illness so I’m just wondering if any of you have had this experience or know if any couple for whom it worked out eventually. I won’t put my life on hold and neither will he but despite there being a general consensus that ....if you want things to work , it’s possible ....... in this case it really doesn’t apply . Thank you for reading

I think you've posted variations on the theme a few times recently.

He's with someone else, he isn't interested in you, move on and stop being so disrespectful to your partner with this carry-on. If you don't love your partner then split up and give them a chance to find someone who does.

I don’t have a partner and I’ve only ever posted about messages received from him at odd times and wondering the meaning of them, in which case i was overthinking the whole thing.

It's all very vague.

If you each are bound to different locations you could have a distance relationship? They are difficult and fail more often than other relationships but if you really are both committed it is an option. Some distance relationships do work out.

I'm not completely sure what the problem is. Is it just how little time you would have together? Money issues?

Distance, parent and family commitments, financial commitments to houses in opposite ends of suburbs of the city, permanent jobs which are not easily gained or flexible , growing children , one with special needs whose services specific to him are in the city and I won’t compromise them .

He's with someone else. He doesn't want to be with you.

I imagine he likes the ego boost knowing you are hanging around hoping he'll appear like a knight in shining armour. But he won't

Ok thanks for response

Read a book called The Ethical Slut. Learn about different shapes relationships. Learn to ask for what you want. Learn that relationships come in a shapes, sizes, and lengths of time. Reflect, then think about it again.

Seriously what is the point clinging on to hope that one day it be just like the fairytales and your live happily ever after?

Look your not together, chances are you never will be. Stop giving this head space.....

Life is short, any of us could end up dead tomorrow. Don’t waste it by hoping one day in the future, it’s honesly a bit sad

By family commitments, do you mean a partner?

Ok thank you

OP has posted before that this man has a partner.

No I mean parents and children

All those things would restrict your time together and make life complicated. That said, it wouldn't prevent a relationship completely. I suppose it is down to genuine commitment.

As you are the one here asking, can I assume he is less prepared to try? If so, he may just not be for you. A relationship in those circs will require a lot of dedication from both partners. If one isn't putting in the effort it isn't worth the effort of the other.

Is he keeping you hanging on? Some men do that to reassure themselves that they could have you IF THEY WANTED. Don't fall victim to it.

Yes, he has a girlfriend of a few months who he says is casual and not at all serious

Oh well, if he says she's casual and not at all serious it must be true. She's probably like the millions of wives who "don't understand" their husbands.

You need to cut him off while he is with someone. Block and delete

If he has started a relationship, however serious or not, he is not interested in you.

See any contact from him for what it is: cruel mind games.

You have children? One with additional needs? One of the things you DC definitely need is a mother/parent who is happy and not falling victim to emotional abuse. See this man as the threat to your family's wellbeing that he is.

Ok thanks for your replies

His just recently started a relationship so obviously it’s not you he wants, take that as a sign for crying out loud!

It really is not as clear cut as that. It is me who will not budge on this but great advice about living for now . His contact is over the top and while not inappropriate per se , it is consistent and large in quantity . Thanks

You sound like you are having a bad time emotionally, OP. If my instincts are right, you are being messed about. Don't let bad men occupy your thoughts or diminish your self esteem. He is no good for you.

Thanks thechief

So, at the same time as getting a new GF, he is in contact persistently with you?

He's bad news. Go no contact. Block. Ignore. See it as a challenge. Prove to your self that you have the reserves and personal dignity to cut free.

He is a player.

I am
Embarrassed to say that him because we are so close and because I need that emotional connection and support, I lean towards him. He and I truly are the best of friends . I do ask myself sometimes if he just likes the idea of a woman having that level of contact with him . Is he receiving somewhat of an ego boost. I say this, as I did in my first post, because when I try to pull back , he follows me more and bombards me. More kindness, more niceness, more interest. Is he a twat? Am I just vulnerable ? Life is tough

And as I said in my other post, she really doesn’t know we are friends. He makes sure he doesn’t contact me when with her normally . And when she is gone home or to work, he is literally on the phone in a matter of minutes. I could time him as to when he begins contact again

So he has a girlfriend but she's not you. He just likes that you're there whenever he wants you.

You're not an old coat he can put on when he's cold and leave hanging around on a hook when he's not. Block him op