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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should diesel money be offered even when your driving that way anyway?

53 replies

williesandwonkas · 07/04/2019 13:57

I drive the same route home from work everyday.

I have a colleague that I drop off at the side of the road on my way.

It doesn't take any more time/diesel to leave her off but, I do have to wait on her sometimes to wait.

Other colleagues have asked if I am being offered money and I didn't think to ask for it. It would definitely be helpful and I know it saves her a lot of money for trains.

Should I ask for money or should they be offering? Or what do people think?

OP posts:
Original poster
williesandwonkas · 07/04/2019 13:58
  • I do sometimes have to wait for her to finish work.
OP posts:
BlueCornishPixie · 07/04/2019 13:59

Yes of course, its courtesy for someone giving you a lift all the time.

As a one off maybe not but I would always offer

Rottencooking · 07/04/2019 13:59

If it's a regular thing yes.

As a one off no.

BadPennyNoBiscuit · 07/04/2019 14:00

I always offer, I think she's being a CF. Especially as she's saving on train fares and you have to wait.

Original poster
williesandwonkas · 07/04/2019 14:01

Yes, it's 5 days a week. She has never offered and I think that's what has made me rethink it!

OP posts:
NWQM · 07/04/2019 14:01

Yes, I'd offer & be happy to pay.

I wouldn't necessarily say yes as the driver. In part this is because - with kids etc - I'd possibly want it to stay a favour rather than sharing costs.

Mooshu · 07/04/2019 14:02

It should definitely be offered but you don’t have to take it

Original poster
williesandwonkas · 07/04/2019 14:03

Yes I probably wouldn't even take it but, I haven't been offered once!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/04/2019 14:05

Yes! My DH gets a lift to and from work from a colleague and he gives him £15 per week, because that's exactly what it would cost him to take the bus. He wouldn't dream of accepting regular lifts otherwise.

RunAlexRun · 07/04/2019 14:05

She should offer. Also no way would I wait around for her, what a cheeky cow!

Smelborp · 07/04/2019 14:11

Absolutely she should be offering.

MadameAnchou · 07/04/2019 14:17

Wow! Of course she should offer! But she's a CF so she won't. So you decide. Either you tell her that she needs to pay you X amount a week or make other arrangements. If she tries to be an even bigger pisstaker by responding that you're going that way anyway, you tell her, I'm doing you a favour and it takes time. That's the point. So it's £X or you'll need to make your own way.'

Shelbybear · 07/04/2019 14:18

Can't believe she hasn't offered. She shld pay half petrol money and be grateful. Public transport wouldn't pick her up at her door and rip her outside her work or be on time and not cancelled.

I'd be inclined to either start making excuses as to why u can't drop her off etc like I'm not going home going to a friends, going to gym etc or just say happy to give you a lift, would you be able to contribute towards the petrol. If u don't want to confront then u cld try a big hint, like go for petrol while they r with u and be like oh costing me a fortune to get to work/ fill car up etc

Firgoodnesssake · 07/04/2019 14:27

You should be annoyed that she hasn’t had the courtesy to offer to share costs.
Don’t be dropping hints or asking if she would be able to contribute - just say, the next time she gets into your car, that you will need her to contribute towards the cost of travel so can she give you £x (whatever you think is fair) at the start of each week.

It’s wear and tear on your car, perhaps you’d have preferred to travel alone and let’s face it if there was a car accident I bet she’d claim off your insurance. I would say it factually and without further discussion. Her reaction will tell you everything.
If she grumbles then it’s quite simple, she can sort herself out from now on but I wouldn’t have her in my car.
If she pays up then happy days.

Original poster
williesandwonkas · 07/04/2019 14:36

I have no problem telling her in work tomorrow at lunch time when she walks past a bank machine to get lunch that I want. I have calculated how much it would cost her and one week back and forth is £20. So I am saving her a tenner a week.

OP posts:
IdaThoughtso · 07/04/2019 14:40

People just amaze me! Can't believe she hasn't offered you anything! She offer you something out of gratitude.

IdaThoughtso · 07/04/2019 14:41

*should offer you something

gamerchick · 07/04/2019 14:43

Yeah but isn't there a law about taking money from passengers? Like fines and shit if you're caught?

Drum2018 · 07/04/2019 14:45

How does she get to work? On days that she is not ready to leave when you are, then you should let her know you won't be waiting for her. No way would I hang around any later than necessary for work. And she should definitely compensate you even if it's to buy you a sandwich for lunch once a week.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/04/2019 14:48

Yes, she should pay half the diesel cost.
What the bus would cost has nothing to do with it really.

44PumpLane · 07/04/2019 14:48

I gave a colleague a lift home regularly for a while as her family circumstances had changed, she immediately offered me fuel money as she's not a cf. I didn't accept as I didn't need it.

When she no longer needed the lift anymore she bought a voucher for myself and my husband to go for a three course meal as a thank you because she was grateful for the favour.

Your colleague is a cf for not appreciating the favour, and even if it's not out of your way you are losing the alone time in your car to wind down from work which can be valuable if you have a hectic home life.

Glittertwins · 07/04/2019 14:51

She should definitely pay half in my opinion. You know you are already going that way but you're being inconvenienced by having to wait for her plus she gets a nice, clean and warm car door to door whilst she still saves on fares.

TonTonMacoute · 07/04/2019 14:54

Yes, not offering to make a contribution is rude.

ShadowHuntress · 07/04/2019 14:55

My brother has this arrangement with a colleague who lives on the next road to him. They travel about 20 miles into work but his colleague has to drive past my brother house and it doesnt cost anything extra in petrol.

My brother did offer him petrol money as it saves him loads of money and time having to get a train in. He refused money so my brother gets him lunch a couple of times a week and also makes extra for him when he takes lunch in. He also gets him drinks when they go to the pub after work on a Friday.

stanski · 07/04/2019 14:55

Whether you take it or not, the fact that she hasn't offered is rude.

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