DP or me being unreasonable?

[Netflixandchilll]

DP and I were going to do the weekly shop today. He said something about liking my cooking better than his own so I should cook but he was joking and then said let’s take turns. I said that for next week mom - fri he should cook but he thinks I’m being unreasonable.

His point: why should he cook every day, ‘he doesn’t like doing it’ (any other day he enjoys cooking so this is a lie), he thinks we should take fair turns.

My point: he finished all next week at 4pm and is home by half 4. I’m home at 6.30pm and have my lunch at 11.30(I don’t choose this) so by half 6 I’ll be really hungry and think it’s only fair that he cooks because he’ll be home earlier and I dont want to come in and cook straight away so we’d end up eating really late.

WIBU??

Six thirty is quite early to eat if you aren't eating with children and it's fair to share it unless one person wants to cook. What time do you both start work?

I'd probably just go to KFC and leave it at that.

Forgot to add we are both up at the same time, he starts at 8 and I vary between 8 & 8.30.

When my DP finishes early he does the cooking that week (he works shifts). I don't think you're being unreasonable in this instance.

Can't you do something in the slow cooker or prep something the night before when it's your turn to cook? It would be fairer to take turns cooking.

If you're doing the weekend cooking I'd maybe double up at least one day and put the extra in the freezer then defrost one day a week. At least you're cooking three days then.

Don't think we can day without knowing what other jobs you do.

But in our house whoever's home first starts cooking even if they don't like it. Otherwise we just scoff a load of snacks while we cook, or have to put the kids to be first so end up eating just before we start getting ready for bed

Another vote for chucking some stuff in a slow cooker in the morning so neither of you really have to cook.

It’s not like I ask him to cook every day. I’m always the one who’s cooking. And I can’t do anything in the slow cooker because the fussy bastard dislikes anything remotely overly liquidy or saucey

Six thirty is quite early to eat if you aren't eating with children

Not on everyone's planet some people like to eat on a tea time, especially if they had their dinner before 12. 6.30 is late to eat tea in my world.

If you can't do slo cooker could you prep a tray bake and he chucks it in the oven at 5:30 ready for you when you get home?

Well that's sorted then. You stick slow cooker on for yourself and if he doesn't want any of it he can sort himself out. He might change his tune about sorting tea out when he's home early.

*say

@gamerchick but I bet you don't get in at six thirty

I'm with your DH, I think you're being unfair. I finish at 4pm and get home around 5pm after commute and nursery pick up, I do all the cooking but I hate it and resent it. DH likes a home cooked meal ready when he gets in at 7:30ish.

I do it because if I didn't we wouldn't eat a proper meal, but after a full day at work then commute, trying to cook with a preschooler clinging to your legs is a nightmare.

I don't think a hot meal is necessary every night, sometimes we just have sandwiches or a pizza and salad.

If you want him to cook you should at least help with the prep eg prepare veg the night before, marinate meat, soak rice, make a salad so it doesn't all fall to him.

Baring in mind this is literally for 5 days. That’s all.

It depends on what else he brings to the table. If he just puts the bins and mows the lawn then l would suggest he steps up. But if he is more 50/50 then l would compromise. I admit l would quickly get sick of cooking every night. But it would make sense if he gets in way before you

PS If it was a one off just for that week, l would say he should do it!

What is he intending to do for the two hours window between you both arriving home? Not sitting on his bum twiddling his thumbs waiting on the little woman returning to her rightful place in the kitchen, I hope?

If he's gone first he cook, makes sense. If he insists on being a child then have a precooked chicken and bag of salad or similar for your turn

home first

YANBU
whoever gets home first starts dinner

Also 6.30 is the perfect time for dinner 🥰

Yanbu, he should cook when he finishes at 4. You're supposed to work as a team not split all tasks 50/50 even when it defies logic.

Six thirty is quite early to eat if you aren't eating with children

Not on everyone's planet hmm some people like to eat on a tea time, especially if they had their dinner before 12. 6.30 is late to eat tea in my world.

Yep. Tea time is 5pm to 5.30 here

Six thirty is quite early to eat if you aren't eating with children

I agree that it’s a regional/class issue. Here we’d eat tea at five.