Becoming more introvert as I get older- aibu to worry!!!

[Mangetoutrodney]

As per the title really- I am 46 and am turning into a real introvert! I used to be really sociable (but have always enjoyed my own company) but these days, I barely want to leave the house!!
I was out with a group of friends last night. When I was younger, I would be the last person standing! I don’t really drink anymore either because of perimenopause anxiety so went out for a few hours & had a nice time but couldn’t wait to be at home again 🙈
I have a wide circle of friends but these days seem to prefer 1-1 rather than groups and prefer lunch rather than evening outings.

I think I am just worried that I will isolate myself as I still love seeing people but seem to be becoming more & more introverted!

Aibu to think it’s a mid life thing or is it just me changing?

Haha HipsLike "I used to lie to my parents so I could go out with my friends.
Now I like to my friends so I can stay in!"

Me too! I used my elderly mum as an excuse the other day, and felt really guilty when everyone sent me concerned messages

This is helpful as I've been feeling the same (in 40s) but was worried it was not normal (SIL was laughing, saying 'oh, I need my friends!' and questioning it...made me feel a bit odd...anyway wanted to mention I read this article recently and it said loneliness itself is not such a 'bad' thing if it is something people like...people can be very distracting and it can be mentally good to switch off and that is fine. I can't find it now though.

OP I'm just like you. I'm very late 40s, used to party hard when younger and was good at seeing old and new friends. Now; can't be arsed... but especially at night.

I'm still a social person, don't want to isolate myself, but am more into walks, sport, lunch or coffee, than going out at night to bars or da club. I love staying at home. But then summer's around the corner so I'll probably be out a little more then.

As others have pointed out, it's completely normal as we get older to be more homebodies, but to me friends are still important.

I think a lot of it i, as pps have said, becoming more aware of the value of one's time and how we spend it. In my 20s i would spend nights out with people i couldn't really stand, drinking to blot the pain out, just so i could say i had 'friends'.

Now I'm 38 and have 3 kids why would i waste what little time and money i have on a vile hangover and people like that? I'm less prepared to compromise myself now. Would still love some meaningful grownup company though and not sure how you get that without the nights of drunken bullshit.

Book club or sport!

I'm 43 and I've changed a lot over the last 2-3 years. I used to love a night out and drinking and dancing, but find myself now making excuses not to go.

I wouldn't say I'm an introvert though, I still like going out, just doing different things. I prefer cosy nights in with friends, going to well-being/ yoga based events, book clubs, meeting friends for walks, that kind of thing. I still love seeing my friends.

I have found though that some 'friends' have drifted away (preferring the cocktail and meals out lifestyle), but my real friends are still with me. I've also met lots of new, like- minded friends which is lovely.

I like things where there are people but you don;t really need to chat to them too much, things like the gym / yoga, and sitting in cafes people watching.

I am in my mid 50s and feel like this too. I used to be the life and soul of the party and loved to attend lots of social gatherings. I now love quiet and solitude, pottering around at home and walking my dog. I still enjoy meeting friends from time to time but in small groups. I used to worry about it but I don't know as I know I am not depressed and have simply just changed as I have got older.

I'm still very sociable but like so many of you I now hate evenings out (was also the last woman standing at the bar thro my 20's and most of my 30's)

I've kind of settled on daytime socialising rather than night time. So I keep up with friends by going to cinema,lunch, walks etc

They know I'm reluctant to meet in the evening and I've tried to be honest with them about this, tho took a while. I used to make excuses, but now prefer to just be honest.

I'm like this and I'm 34! Spent my teens and early twenties as what I'd describe as an extrovert. Always the life and soul of the party, always the last one standing. Never at home.

Settled down a bit mid twenties, got married, had babies in my early 30s. I've got a toddler and baby and would quite happily never go out again. I don't think that's unusual. However I really don't like group events now, I much prefer to be 1-1 with friends or 2/3 max. I've turned down several invitations to group hen parties etc because it's my worst nightmare. I find people exhausting and annoying in groups. I dread a wedding invite, as DH loves them and I hate them!

Although in hindsight perhaps I've always been a closet introvert. I remember going on a mad girls holiday when I was 22 and after 3 days of being with the same two friends I really needed a day on my own. I feigned hangover and said I wanted a day by the pool while they went off exploring for the day. I spoke to no one all day long it was bliss!

Yes, I have had some friends and relatives have big 40th parties and I couldn't think of anything worse tbh!

It’s my birthday next week and I’m really hoping everyone forgets. (Apart from the DCs, they’d better step up 😄).

EXACTLY THE SAME! Used to be out til all hours, drink, drink, drink & drink some more. At 48 I never leave the house after dark unless I’m with the dog! I work a long & exhausting week so can’t be bothered with going out. Meet friends for breakfast or tea & cake never wine or beer! Hangovers & late nights are a no no. I’m too old for all that shit I get up at 5 & I don’t care if people think I’m boring #happyinmyslippers

I (half) joked to my friend that I might blow out my own 50th party. Now I've decided just to go for lunch I'm much happier about it.

I've been like this since my late 20's... I went from constantly socialising to much preferring my own company and selectively socialising.

I just prefer a quiet drama free life, i have plenty of friends who I still see, but just in a different more relaxed setting mostly.

My friendship group seems to have shrunk down to people who agree that it’s ok to say ‘I’ve changed my mind about going out. But never stop asking me, yeh?’ 😄