To think DPs friend was EXTREMELY unacceptable?

[itslikeblackpoolilluminations]

At a house party, everyone is pissed including myself.
DPs friend has managed to slip and push every glass bottle off the worktop in the kitchen onto the floor. Everyone found this funny and the sort of this happens at parties attitude.
He went for a cig in the garden and I went out to check he was okay because he wa steaming. We are friendly enough to have enough banter, but he touch my bum, like fully groped it.
I removed myself from the situation straight away and told DP who said "well I said to leave and to not have one more drink". It's almost like he's blaming me. I think DP and DP friend is being unreasonable but it seems like I'm being made to be seen as the one who is being unreasonable.
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense because I'm drunk but am I over reacting or amj right??

Nope....you're not being unreasonable. So....you wanting to stay for another drink equals permission to be groped?
No way, OP.

DP is trying to find a way to blame you as that’s easier than dealing with the fact that his mate sexually assaulted you,

Yanbu

What LadyLaSnack said.

I said that it is sexual assault, and DP seems to have the idea that "what do you expect he's steaming" three years in and this is the first time ever that I have considered if we really should still be together.

Was this tonight? YANBU at all, but wait till the morning to talk properly. You won’t get any sense out of a drunk person.
That’s assuming you’re ok (understandable to be angry).

He's been a dick.
I take it this is tonight?
Bring it up again in the morning and see if he has his sensible head on.
That wasn't on. Being drunk doesn't five you a free pass to behave like that.
And your wanting to have one more drink doesn't mean you deserved it or are to blame.

I’m not trying to minimise at all BTW.

that's awful, can you imagine a man like this raising sons and daughters. run a mile.

Yes it was tonight, so I know I might be overreacting. Me and DP friend get on so well and do have very different boundaries than most people. We have sworn, called each other fat, made Frankie Boyle style jokes at each other, so it makes me feel that maybe he thought there was no like and that's why he thought the bum grope was okay. And maybe I have made himtobelie e that there are no boundaries?

Sorry that was meant to say no line

itslikeblackpoolilluminations yanbu. Your Dp and his friend are clearly in the wrong. Wait a day, get your thoughts together on what you want to say, what you want to see happen and how you want to respond if he tries to minimize this or blame you. Then have a serious conversation about this with your Dp. Goodluck.

Address it in the morning OP. Yes, his friend sexually assaulted you but no good will come of a drunk conversation about it. I hope you are ok.

Wait until you're all sober.
Trying to sort anything now is a recipe for disaster.

Just saw your next post. If you usually get along well then maybe just a firm reminder of the boundaries and how you expect to be treated is needed. You know them better than we do. Do they generally have a disregard of and disrespect towards women?

I do agree that it's a conversation for tomorrow. I can see DP side. He's just said that he's annoyed because earlier in the night another of his friends was joking about us all having a foursome and I joked along saying yeah count me in. It was obvious that it was a joke but I might've been annoyed if it was the other way round. But at the same time even if I was annoyed I still don't think the assault is okay. I'm into minds about it.

I wouldn't have this conversation while drunk or hungover.

Would do think it was ok if you had groped his friend? Or if the friend had groped do?

Thought not.

Maybe the friend groped your arse because you joked around about the foursome? Maybe he didnt know you were joking snd thought he would have flirty banter to get things started? Your OH saying 'well i did say not to have another drink' isn't him blaming you he just probably doesn't seem to think their is an issue because from the sounds of it you were all having a flirty night.

The conversation about the foursome is kinda significant I'm this story, OP 😂 not saying you were asking for it of course......but you could've given the guy the wrong impression by telling him you were up for sleeping with him??

When men are drunk they think they are God’s Gift to women, best not to follow drunk men outside,it only gives them the wrong idea.

Following on from your update, you had a conversation about having a foursome, then one of those people grabbed your bum?

Sorry to say it but as long as he stopped touching you when you either asked him to or made it clear that you actually weren't in to it then in my opinion he didn't do anything wrong.

If you said no and he kept going then yes it crosses the line but not from what you say happened.

FFS you’re all pissed and joking about foursomes. You’ve had your bum groped by a mate who’s steaming drunk and lost his inhibitions so of course he is ‘unreasonable’. Sober up and talk about it tomorrow, it’s hardly the time to be getting all #metoo about it. I’m sure he will be mortified and apologise in time. Maybe you all should have left the party a couple of drinks back.

Brcelona9 Maybe you should also check what she was wearing.

I think this is between you and your friend. The one you followed outside. Tell him tomorrow that he groped your bum whilst drunk and this is definitely not OK.
Leave your DP out of it.