To quite honestly feel like giving up? I'm doomed.

[HipHipHippoo]

Today began well. It was the last day of school and 3DC and I were all really excited to be going away on Monday until Friday. Only to the seaside, but we thoroughly deserve a break after a year of being absolutely broke and their dad deciding to go no contact with any of us. Luckily I paid for the holiday last year so all I had to pay for was petrol.

Yesterday our dog had an unexpected vet bill of £160 which was really frustrating as actually he was ExDPs dog, but he abandoned him as well as the DC and doesn't pay towards either. After the school run today, a dog lunged at mine for no apparent reason and bit his ear, causing another vet bill that I really can't afford. I got home and put the kettle on which tripped the electrics so I had to lug everything out of the under stairs cupboard to get to the fuse box.

Then I went to the toilet and discovered I'm having my first period in about three years (because of breastfeeding) and I have no san pro in the house. DD(2) and DD(5) and I walk to the shop and 5 yo trips over 3 times, then steps in dog poo on the way back on purpose

Later we start driving to collect DD(10) from school and the car breaks down in front of someone's driveway, a mile from school and I have no pushchair in the car. We're half hour late to collect DD as I struggle up the hill with 2 yo on my shoulders and dragging anti-walking 5 yo along. We were due to collect our food shopping before 4pm but the supermarket is 3 miles from school. I call a taxi and walk to the cash point, only to discover another unexpected bill has gone out leaving me with £4.76 to my name.

We trudge back to the car and wait for the AA, getting a load of abuse from the man whose driveway the car was in front of (I had left a note to explain and apologise but that wasn't good enough, apparently.) We get towed to the garage just as they close. They can't look at it until Monday at the earliest so we're already definitely going to miss some of our holiday, and frankly I've no idea how I'm going to pay for the repairs - if it's more than the £200 I have left on my credit card then we'll be without a car altogether and struggle massively. Of course, I filled the tank with petrol ready for holiday this morning...!

The garage is a mile from home and I can feel my san pro start to leak so I have to tie my jumper round my waist and freeze all the way home. When we arrive home it's freezing, the boiler has packed up. DDog has been sick on the floor and DD2 somehow managed to fall asleep on my shoulders so has only just gone to bed.

Finally about to get into bed after a completely shit day and my friend messages me to ask if I know ExDP has been promoted and has a new car. I open my emails and find out that the agency I've been working from home for no longer require my services. Seriously what else can go wrong?!

Honestly I'm fed up of the struggle of life. Today was obviously particularly shit but every day feels like bad news or luck constantly. I have three healthy DC which I'm exceptionally grateful for but I can barely afford to eat or live. They are so happy and resilient and make me so proud but I feel like I'm letting them down. I didn't think it was possible to be more broke than I was, but without a job I clearly will be. I've tried so hard to look for term time work so I can afford childcare but it just doesn't exist around here.

The DC went to bed optimistic that we can get the car fixed on Monday then go straight to holiday. I'm dreading disappointing them

BTW - have you looked at your local authority website for job vacancies? They don't pay the highest salaries but are generally really good at flexible and/or term-time working contracts..... I really hope you find something else soon.

I’m normally debt averse, but I would really think about using the last bit left on your credit card to get you to the holiday that is already paid for.

Don't mean to sound horrible, but please don't offer money. Lots of people have been taken advantage of on the forum in the past.

The day you've just had takes the last biscuit, complains that there are no more & then leaves the tin lying on the floor for you to trip over. All I can say is -

1. you will look back one day in tired relief & laugh that things are so much better now &
2. I have three healthy DC which I'm exceptionally grateful for but I can barely afford to eat or live. They are so happy and resilient and make me so proud but I feel like I'm letting them down.

Healthy, happy & resilient children don't make themselves. YOU did that. And you only have to trawl a few threads on here to know that there are millions of women who are materially better off than you but who are having conniptions about their kids' wellbeing or behaviour.

So congratulations you, & I really hope that your 3 kids AND YOU get the best of next week, even if it has to be a 'shortened short week'.

I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. That sounds like a terribly stressful day to say the least

Hopefully the car will be an easy fix but if it’s not and the holiday needs to be cancelled don’t worry about disappointing the dc. Yes, it’ll be tough but it’ll not scar them for life and when they’re older they’ll understand all the struggles you went through to keep your little family afloat. Everything will be okay.

Is the holiday a hotel or self-catering type?

If you can’t go because of money you can still do some crazy fun stuff with your girls and make an Easter break you’ll all remember. Think fancy dress with mums make-up and hairdressing. Rice crispie cakes with smarties or mud cakes in the garden. An old roll of wall paper to design a family crest or memory piece that can be produced at their 21st.
A time capsule. Eyeshadow hair dye. Anything messy they can’t normally do. A late night movie night and lounge camping with torches and a sheet tent with Christmas fairy lights. Ye get the idea. You’ll have a lovely week even if the car is f**ked.

The shit storm of dealing with ex and job hunting can wait til the following week but don’t stress about that now. Even if he’s never accountable you’ll someday have three young women who see the warrior in you and will remember from disappointment you pulled a rabbit out of the hat and made living and togetherness fun.

You’ll be fine. Promise

oh bless you, you have 3 brilliant, optimistic DC which is both wonderful and awful, depending on what the garage say. is there any way you can go on your holiday without the car?

Your kids are happy and resilient, that takes amazing parenting, you are doing a good job x

Oh bless you op. What's your general location? Maybe someone can help with a lift.

Hope u get on holiday. You are doing a brilliant job. Wishing you a great time x

I agree with a pp. If you post your rough location there might be someone who can give you a lift.

I'm so sorry you are going through so much. Things are tough for me atm but nowhere near as bad.

Op, you mention you’re too proud to accept donations from the father of your children but are you too proud to accept a GoFundMe campaign to help you go your holiday?

I’m sure everyone on this thread will contribute if you’re willing.

Is everyone on board?

Op you and your little cherubs/monsters sound amazing, i thought i had a shit day but , no, you have taken the biscuit, wow. Whereabouts in the country are you? I don't know what i can do but I'd like to help somehow!! You're mega!! X

Sorry to hear about your day from hell. It sounds like anyone’s worst nightmare. And so sad it puts your holiday at risk.

One suggestion though: don’t be afraid to ask for help. I find it hard to believe you have absolutely no friends at all and no family - somebody out there is thinking about you and your kids, I’m sure! If you use social media, put up a post and ask for a lift to take the kids to the seaside or ask if anyone could pick up your groceries for you or whatever. Say you’re job hunting and abt leads would be appreciated. You’d be surprised how kind people can be.

If you don’t like social media, just text or call people directly. People are usually willing to help. But if they don’t know you’re struggling, they can’t.

Oh wow. That had to be the shittiest day ever! So sorry you’ve had to go through that. We’re all here for you. Sending huge hugs and sympathy. You are doing your best and if you lived near me I’d drive you to/from the garage and lend you the cash to get the car fixed. Practically it’s worth ringing CMS to tell them of his new circumstances. Set up a go fund me page, you never know you might just get enough to get you away on holiday. If you do, please post the link on here as I’d contribute something for you. Post your story on FB and ask friends for a lift or any mechanic who can help. It pays to ask for help sometimes. Regarding the dog...pets are expensive! Can you take out a pet plan insurance to cover vets bills? Or is there a friend/family member who might take him on. You’ve got a lot on your plate. Your ex is a vile, selfish individual by the way.

Good grief OP - that day is shit beyond shit!

With the car - it may be that it's not an expensive repair but if it is, can you ask the garage if you can book it in for when you next get paid? Doesn't solve the holiday problem but one less bill to worry about.

As far as the holiday goes - is a train possible? Can you still afford to go as things stand? If not, sadly, you may have to cancel it the children will get over it pretty quickly.

I hope things get better OP

Can you manage on your holiday without a car? Maybe someone can take you on Monday and pick you up on Friday? I know I’d do that for a friend who had just had a day like that.

I hope Karma exists and it’s coming for your ex. What a scumbag. Is it well known in his circle what he’s doing? I’m petty as fuck, I’d be telling everyone how he was making his own children suffer.

Thank you for all your well wishes I really appreciate it. I honestly have no family. My mum is dead, my dad is feckless and I have no idea where he is. My brother is an alcoholic and lives a few hours away and my sister has enough issues of her own with DC with SN. I don't have any friends as such, my relationship isolated me and I only know people from school really that live nowhere near where I am now.

It'd be very difficult to get a lift to holiday with three kids and 2 dogs and I couldn't afford the public transport to get around while I'm there anyway. I couldn't accept money from any of you, but thank you so much. The kids will take it in their stride as they always do, I'm just gutted for them

I dread what to think about what he tells people about why he doesn't see them. Its not usually the truth, is it?

Hello everyone
Quite a few of you have reported this thread with some concerns so, we're reminding you all of our usual advice.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

I wasn't hoping or asking for money. Just obviously I can't discuss it all with the DC so wanted to have a moan, that's all.

OP I know you weren't asking for money. Just an outlet to vent :)

Have the garage given you any idea of when the car might be ready?

They can't even look at it until Monday cricket

I’m so sorry, it’s shit. But (hopefully) you all have good health and each other, and you can overcome this. There will be another holiday and brighter days.

What an absolute crap day for you!! Hopefully car us fixed on Monday afternoon and you can leave then! You deserve to treat yourself with something nice.You got this!!

Hip (assuming you are uk?) are you claiming the benefits you are entitled to? I wasn’t for ages and it’s made a massive difference!