Wedding Guest Mug

[AmIACunt]

I come to Mumsnet in all its glory as I cannot decide whether I am BU or not... so please, give me your honest thoughts as if you were in my situation.

I have a 6 month old son with my boyfriend. My boyfriend has a (second or third cousin, distant but still classes himself as cousin)

Said cousin is getting married, and has asked my boyfriend to be his best man. Now... I have only been invited to the evening party, along with the rest of my boyfriends immediate family?!

I completely understand money etc how expensive weddings are... but... if my boyfriend is going to be the BEST MAN of this wedding, giving a speech etc, do you not think it strange that his partner and their son (who is related to the groom!) is not invited to see any of that?

At the moment I’m struggling whether to decide to even go... as i will be looking after our son all day while daddy is at this wedding, then I have to get us both ready and travel to the wedding by myself!

So mumsnet, what’s the verdict please? Am I a dramatic diva or would you be fuming too?

I am disappointed that this isn’t a thread about tacky wedding favours!

Wedding are boring AF.

Hours of posing for photos, hours of speeches you can't hear and then a crappy dinner that's cold by the time you get it.

Think yourself lucky. It'll be tedious.

Och I too thought this was a thread about a mug with a pic of the happy couple as a wedding favour!

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon I mean yeah the thought of not having to hunt down and buy a new dress for it is pretty good... but I'm trying to decide whether I should even go to the evening part, as I'm feeling a bit like they don't care for me and are only inviting me to the evening because I'm a free guest - not the long term partner of the best man

Me too purpledasies!

Ah sorry guys I could have worded this title much better! It isn't that exciting lol!

Nah, don't go to the evening bit.

Probably be a shit disco with a pay bar.

Stay at home.

Just don't go, I would be so happy for DH to go by himself and leave me at home with my jammies and a takeaway

Why isn't your boyfriend putting his foot down about this? He needs to talk to his cousin and point out that it's ridiculous. If he's the best man, he's obviously invited to the whole thing, and so should his partner be.

I think that is a bit shit but if you were invited to the whole day you probably wouldn't be sitting with your DH at the meal. I probably wouldn't go.

Disappointed there is no mug to look at ☕

No I dont think I it strange you are not invited, you clearly aren't close, the rest of the family are not invur, you've not said if it's child free but either way it's no fun for a baby or guests if said baby is noisy during ceremony/speeches etc

@FredaFox I get that but if it were baby free then i could have organised a babysitter, he will be a year and a half old by then so could go with family for the day/evening. I just couldn't imagine having someone being such a main part of my wedding and not inviting their significant other to spend it with them

Oh and btw I don't even know if the baby is actually invited... the invite was only addressed to me! When asked if babies could come, the response was 'well I suppose so, they don't cost anything do they... '

Yabu. Doesn't seem like your baby was invited, it was rude to ask. If you want to have a party/night out then get a baby sitter and go. If not don't go. Their wedding their choice

I wouldn’t go I don’t think, not unless it’s a tiny wedding for 20 or something.

@Breathingfire FYI I didn't actually ask, a friend who is also invited to the evening and has a baby asked, I was in the room while it happened.

But thanks for your opinion

A 1.5 year old is not a baby.

I am an anti-social fucker and would be delighted to avoid the hassle of outfit buying, making small talk etc.

A day at home with my baby and a takeaway in the evening would utter bliss for me.

In this situation, I would not go to the wedding. It's completely understandable with a baby of 6 months. Have a nice quiet night in-your partner can represent you both at the wedding.

I’m with frog

I think it's really off to not invite the best man's long term partner to the full day. If I were your DP, I would be pretty annoyed with my cousin and be reconsidering the best man role. It also seems odd that the groom would ask your DP to be best man if their relationship is so distant that you wouldn't automatically have been a guest anyway.

However, if I were in your shoes, I would probably be kind of glad. It shows you who they are - people you shouldn't spend any more of your time on. I wouldn't be going to the evening do unless it promised to be a fab party worthy of your time and effort despite their presence.

Now... I have only been invited to the evening party, along with the rest of my boyfriends immediate family?!

So, you are being treated like the rest of the family? I know I am in a mn minority but I don't think being someone's partner automatically entitles you to a wedding invite

I agree with you that it's poor form for both you and the baby to not be invited OP. How many guests in total to the ceremony / lunch though? If it's a smallish affair I'd understand. But if it's 100+ attendees I think your boyfriend ought to stick his neck out and maybe ask if there might be a spare seating for you to come......if it's a no, then don't bother going to any of it. Also if you ever get hitched, don't invite the cousins missus to the daytime doo either.

I doesn't sound like your child is invited if they are not on the invite. Either get a babysitter and go to the evening to meet up with Dh, or stay home. Personally I'd stay home.

Weddings are shit.

Be grateful and send your apologies for not being able to attend the evening do.