Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was in the wrong here.

77 replies

Freddiesfling · 04/04/2019 15:14

I’m a mum of 4, I took my youngest daughter who’s 3 to a cafe with a small enclosed soft play area. I went to get a coffee which was in the same room.. literally yards away and I noticed a older lady giving me daggers though I thought it was my imagination.. I could see my daughter happily playing so carrying on ordering our drinks ( mine and my daughters).. I then saw this lady enter the soft play area... I paid for my drink, turned around and this lady was carrying my daughter over to me, she then handed her over with a comment about how she had watched the Madeleine Mccann documentary yesterday and you can never be too careful ... I was too shocked to say anything.. I could see my daughter at all times and the play area has a very heavy clear door which can only be opened by adults...was I being too relaxed/ negligent? This lady left soon after but not after whispering to her husband and looking over at me! Wondered if I should have said something at the time!

OP posts:
sandi2019 · 05/04/2019 10:11

She just sounds a bit weird and angry OP. Sorry you had to go through that. SHE was in the wrong - not you x

OffToBedhampton · 05/04/2019 10:13

Hmmmm. The lady was very strange. And far overstepped to pick up your child who was perfectly happy!! She's lucky you didn't call the manager on her and get herself a ban from that play area/cafe.

somuchinfo · 05/04/2019 10:16

Me personally would have taken my child to get the drinks first, then gone to play area. Things happen so quickly these days I just wouldn't want to risk it. There are so many strange ppl about. And to be fair she did manage to actually pick your child up without you seeing until she headed for you. That said, I don't think it's ok for anybody at all to pick up your child. So I would have gone mad! It wasn't her place to pick up your child.

BiBiBirdie · 05/04/2019 10:16

No doubt she thought she was doing the right thing but to pick up someone else's child, well she would have been given a right telling from me. I would also have mentioned it to the staff, get the old loon banned.

Original poster
Freddiesfling · 05/04/2019 10:34

Can I just reiterate that I saw her enter the play area and leave with my child, I didn’t see her pick her up due to the way the very tiny play area is laid out but saw her open the door and leave....I didn’t immediately react as wasn’t sure of her motives... some parents may not have left her there but I deemed it the easiest and safest option due to me having a full and clear view of the play area and her not getting in the way of people with hot drinks and trays.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/04/2019 11:25

“get the old loon banned”

Oh fuck off with the ageism.

BertrandRussell · 05/04/2019 11:27

“Things happen so quickly these days I just wouldn't want to risk it. There are so many strange ppl about”

Yep. Children are being kidnapped from garden centres all the time!

Cheeserton · 05/04/2019 11:30

Deeply inappropriate, interfering and nasty behaviour.

Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 11:34

Absolutely nuts.

And no, not 'many, many children are taken this way'. What a pile of shite.

chocolatemademefat · 05/04/2019 11:36

I have four children at a play area today and due to the size of the place there’s no way I can keep my eyes on all of them at all times. And the playroom is full of others in the same position.

The Madeleine McCann case is something completely different and I think you should’ve told her never to pick your child up again and to mind her own business.

Children have to be allowed to live normal lives and that includes not being in sight at all times - especially in a playroom which in my opinion is a safe place.

donquixotedelamancha · 05/04/2019 11:39

She was being absolutely batshit ridiculous, as are several posters on this thread.

This. Your tolerance of risk, balanced against the harm of suffocating parenting, is your judgement as a parent.

Bonkers to think this represents the point where it's ok for a stranger to take over.

multiplemum3 · 05/04/2019 11:43

What did you say to her op? I wouldn't have been happy at all if some busy body decided to pick one of my kids up.

BiBiBirdie · 05/04/2019 11:49

BertrandRussell op said she was older. Hence old loon
If she had of said it was a young woman, I would have said young loon.
But you do you honey 🤷

Original poster
Freddiesfling · 05/04/2019 11:50

I didn’t say anything which I regret as she came towards me with this fake smile on her face, dumped my child in my arms and made the Madeleine Mccann comment before quickly walking away! I think I was shocked by the situation as I wasn’t sure why she was heading over to me- I thought maybe my daughter has said she needed the toilet or something...she left the play area/cafe very soon after!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/04/2019 11:50

“I would have said young loon.”

No you wouldn’t.

violetdazed · 05/04/2019 12:05

I did see this lady enter the play area, thought nothing of it as she had a small child with her, I then saw her leave with my daughter I was only about 10 steps away!!!

I wonder who was watching her little'n whilst she was so focussed on hers??

I get that she was following a sense of community/it takes a village ethos, but picking up your child was bang out of order!

somuchinfo · 05/04/2019 16:41

Why do some ppl ... yawns.... come on to mums net just to pick at what advice ppl give. Surely the point is that we are offering our opinion to the OP. Instead you get the ODD random person just picking through other ppls comments. Something to do I guess.

In saying 'I personally wouldn't have risked it' I wasn't necessarily meaning or implying children get taken from soft play areas but for instance I wouldn't want to risk a random person picking my child up. Who could have done anything to your child. Inappropriately. The woman that picked the child up was quite clearly the one in the wrong! And should have thought better of picking up a child. She should have just come and spoken to you if she had a problem.

Alsohuman · 05/04/2019 16:50

I was about to say she was an interfering old trout, even though I’m over 60, but I’m scared @Bertrand will descend on me.

NannyRed · 05/04/2019 17:14

I then saw this lady enter the soft play area... I paid for my drink, turned around and this lady was carrying my daughter over to me

You didn't see her pick your kid up and come out of the soft play room though, did you? If she was someone more sinister she could have been gone like a shot while you took your drinks to your table.

This ⬆️

Think yourself lucky she didn’t have malicious intentions, she could have equally as easy gone the opposite direction and disappeared with your daughter.

Inthehatbox · 05/04/2019 17:20

Was she pretending to take your daughter to teach you a lesson?

I’d have informed staff so they could watch out for her.

Original poster
Freddiesfling · 05/04/2019 17:40

Yes I did see her leave the play centre as I was watching the entrance/ exit.., I didn’t see her pick my child up inside the small soft play area but saw her immediately on exiting!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Freddiesfling · 05/04/2019 17:41

And I personally believe stranger abductions are very rare especially with me watching the only exit and being 10 steps away!

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 05/04/2019 17:58

She's crazy!
I was at a sports event when a toddler wandered over to us through a hedge Hmmever then I just corralled him whilst calling for the parents.

After a few minutes of discussion with others I picked him up and still kept calling for mum whilst briefing others.

I only took him to security with the agreement of those around me and very hesitantly even then.

Happy ending.

BertrandRussell · 05/04/2019 18:02

“And I personally believe stranger abductions are very rare”

That’s not a personal belief- it’s a fact. And they have stayed at the same level since records began.

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2019 18:33

I assume someone else was watching her granddaughter while she did this :)