Possible CF cleaner

[Cloudyyy]

My husband wants us to find a new cleaner but I’m not sure.... is she being a CF or should we give her a few more chances?

She does do a fair job of cleaning the house when she’s here, although we pay her hourly and she takes more and more time to
complete the same work it seems.

She sometimes turns up with her two children in tow saying she has no childcare and puts them watching TV on our sofa. Once I caught them sat on our bed watching TV whilst she cleaned upstairs. My husband doesn’t like them eating snacks particularly on our bed but I feel bad for them stuck there so don’t say anything.

She’s gone on holiday a fair few times with no notice at all, including just ba fore Christmas when I really wanted the house clean for guests arriving.

If I’m breastfeeding my baby discreetly, she occasionally walks up to me and put her hand on baby’s head saying “how lovely” but it makes me feel uncomfortable to be honest. She has once walked into the bedroom whilst I was changing (and I’d told her clearly I was changing and would only be a moment). She proceeded to come in anyway and start cleaning.

It would obviously be better if we were always out of her house when she comes, but she changes her arrival time every week and is often very late (several hours). This evening she was here so late that I couldn’t put the children to bed on time.

She sometimes cries to me about money issues without me asking her about it, I always comfort her and offer her a cup of tea but I really don’t know what to say.

I would feel awful sacking her to be honest but AIBU to sack her?

I agree with the posters saying to give her one more chance. It sounds like you have not established boundaries and she is taking advantage. Sit her down and tell her things are not working out for you. Explain to her what hours she needs to work and when as well as your expectations and her salary. Write this down and both sign it.

If she can't follow this, tell her that you will have to find someone else.

Wouldn't that be treating her like a child?

She's an adult who has chosen to take on work in other people's houses. That includes certain additional niceties. Sadly many people think being a cleaner is easy and doesn't have to be done on a schedule!

If I were OP and wanted to giove her one more chance I would tell her plainly that far from making life easier she is making it more difficult and she cannot continue to do so. Set absolute ground rules including no kids, no snack, no lateness, no missing days. If she cannot agree to them each and every time then she has to go.

But I am with your DH OP! New cleaner required.

Yes you really do need to give her notice and find a more reliable cleaner, and when you do make it a proper business-like arrangement.
She'll find someone else to clean for so don't feel guilty.

The things you have listed sound pretty major to me. I would have no hesitation letting her go.

Just thank her for the work she has done and tell her you no longer need her. End of.

I think you ought to make a note of what you want op, the hours etc, what is bugging you.
and sit down with her with your notes and tell her.
you want her between specific hours for example.

It sounds quite manipulative; she is unreliable and unprofessional but makes you feel bad by being so nice and making it clear she needs the money but if she needed the money and the job was so important to her you’d expect that she would make sure she was there on time and was reliably coming every week.
Also I don’t let my own children eat snacks on my bed so if someone else let their kids do it I’d be less than impressed

I wouldn't be giving her another chance there's too many things wrong. I don't think she will change enough and it will continue to cause you stress as well as make things awkward.

I'd just be lying and say that you can either no longer afford it or a family member is going to start helping you out. Give her a month's notice and then just count down the weeks.

I would give her another chance. I’d be clear about the priorities - like turning up at the right time. I’d also say she needs to complete the work in X hours as she used to when she started.

My cleaner occasionally moves her hours, which is fine by me. She offers an alternative convenient time. If she cleans while we’re on holiday she might do 6am to get it out of the way. She has brought her children a couple of times in 3 years, also fine by me. We have a friendly informal relationship.

@cloudyyy, I say this kindly, honestly I do.

You are the problem here.
This scenario has come about because you as the person employer
have not clearly ‘contracted’ either verbally or in writing what the terms of this arrangement are.

You sound like a reasonable, easy going & kind person, but this is a business arrangement not a friendship or favour. This arrangement has got off to a soggy start & no amount of imposing structure is going to fix it. Think of it from your cleaner’s point of view - so far you have been OK person, her work is OK & now you want to place restrictions on her or if she is CF she’ll take you on for some ‘cat & mouse’ wriggling.

So, take the life lesson on the chin.
End this arrangement.
Start again with professional company or cleaner & you wear the employer hat.

If your cleaner is any good, she will soon find work.

...you as the employer...

Lots of really good cleaners around who stick to times and don't take advantage. Let her go.

You have two options.

1. Set her very clear boundaries and rules around timeliness, no children, reliability. Explain that these are the rules and if she wants to continue working for you she has to abide by them or you will terminate the agreement. Then stick to it rigidly and if she ever breaks them fire her.

1. Get rid.