DP and I have been together for just under 2 years. We have a 9 month old DD, a pretty big surprise but she’s the light of my life and we’ve made it work. For the most part we are happy but there’s one thing that we keep coming back to and honestly it may just be the reason we don’t work out in the end. DP doesn’t see this from my POV at all and thinks the sun shines out of her.
DP has been best friends with girl ‘B’ for 7-8 years. They dated for 3ish years prior to this. Their friendship had serious boundary issues in the sense that everyone (including me) thought they were an item. B told everyone that they had been together and tended to go on about it a bit “oh we would get back together if he would change” etc etc.
So, I had a bad breakup and DP was very supportive during this time. We kind of just ‘fell in love’ so to speak. B caused a bit of trouble due to her jealousy (? Maybe not the right word to use but I don’t know)
- one night we were hanging out, I was lying on the sofa having a nap and she came to sit with DP while he played PlayStation. When she saw I was lying on the sofa she made a very audible “UGH” noise before walking out and slamming the door behind her. She then ignored me the rest of the night.
- the day after the above, she came to me crying and apologising saying it just really hurts to see him change for me and not for her and she’s just sorry she reacted that way.
- DP was supposed to be her +1 at a wedding but he went on a bender and arrived drunk (nothing to do with me), she proceeded to blame this on me and told loads of people He had let her down because of me.
-threw all his clothes (including underwear - though idk why she had them anyway lol) that she had around his office at work.
- Proceeded to block and delete me and him off all social media.
There was a bit of a break here, it kinda came up every now and then because she would contact him for emotional support. Once she found out I was pregnant she didn’t take it well.
- called him f-ing c* to his mum and told her he was making a massive mistake in regards to me and the baby.
- would call him up and text him using the loving nickname she gave him while they were dating.
Now DP is not innocent in any of this. He says I forced him to cut out his best friend due to my ‘vicious jealousy’. He would take her phone calls in private, never in front of me and would also phone her drunk. Their friendship before was more like a relationship, always each other’s plus 1s, he would take her on holiday, text and call loads of times a day, together all the time, he even told me that he had been waiting for her to change her mind about them having another go for the entire friendship.
For the majority of this I have just tried to be like “he can have friends that don’t want to know me”, but honestly it really hurts. I’ve never done anything to her, I’ve tried multiple times to invite her over for dinner or coffee or drinks, she’s never even met dd though still uses DP as an emotional crux. How weird is that? It hurts so bad because all of the blame is put entirely on me because I’ve had a bumpy past but I have tried to just let them get on with it.
So, aibu or should I tell him it’s her or me? Or should I just end it with him completely? I feel like I will always be second best.