AIBU to think it's impossible for me to work while I have preschoolers?

[CoraCoo]

Oh works hard in a decently paid job and I am a sahp with a 1 year old and 3 year old. We are comfortable enough day to day, however we don't have much money for unexpected emergencies, holidays, gifts for birthday parties, visiting family, car repairs, home improvements etc.

If I could work it would be really helpful to have a few extra hundred pounds per month just to dip into as and when we need. Id also love to increase what we earn so we could get a bigger mortgage to move house. Is it currently impossible for me to work? I can't see a way around the childcare issues:

Childcare costs more than I would be able to earn as I've no skills experience beyond nmw jobs. This would bring household balance down lower than it currently is, so that's no use.

Oh frequently works away for weeks at a time without much notice so I can't get a job evenings or weekends out with his working hours as we don't know when i would be free.

We have no family or friends nearby that would be willing as well as able to commit to providing childcare.

Am i unreasonable to think its hopeless and I've no hope of earning any money until they are in school? Did you find a way around similar circumstances? Am I completely missing something and there is an easy solution to this?

In your case, clearly it is impossible.

Who is saying you should be working?

Can you use this time to train / gain skills using online / evening courses so that when your kids qualify for free hours childcare and then go onto school you'll be more employable? It is difficult and school doesn't solve all the problems because it's only 9-3 without paid for breakfast / afterschool clubs us you have to cover holidays, illness etc. Once they are in nursery I guess cleaning is an option as you can pick your hours

Not impossible, depends if you'd be willing to work a couple of evenings a week/weekends doing something like bar work, in an off licence or something similar so that your husband was home for the kids. Alternatively something like cleaning, early morning or late evening shifts again.

Working a 9-5 however I can see would be a problem if you cannot earn more than childcare would be, and so yes that would be pointless.

Yanbu but school isn’t much help either as not many jobs are school hours only, then you have to find childcare during the holidays too. Unless you have family/friends who can help out, it’s pretty much not going to happen, and if like me you’re a lone parent it’s even harder. No idea how I’m going to manage it tbf.

Childcare costs are so prohibitive. For 2 kids, at say £4 an hour childcare (conservative estimate for that age), you’d have to earn above min wage to break even, so there’s no incentive.

Is there anything you could do from home? I know people who do sewing, ironing, childminding, respite childcare for example? Or something you could take the kids with you to? Babysitting, cleaning?

If you work 3 days (or even 2) then you will get 30 hours of childcare for the 3 year old, apart from a small top-up. So you would only really be paying one set of fees, and would be able to remain in the workplace while also having time with your children.

Only if you want to though - if I was earning minimum wage I probably wouldn't bother, but instead use the time as others have suggested, to plan something better paid in the future.

Do you qualify for free nursery hours yet for the older child?

In your situation, given you have two children quite close in age, you may not be able to work and turn a profit yet. But you can certainly plan ahead.

Once the children are in school, even working a minimum wage job will be worth it. You and your dh will each have annual leave. If you use it wisely, so that you don’t take it all simultaneously, that will take care of a chunk of school holidays. Then with just wraparound school care and some school holidays to pay for, you will definitely earn more than you’re paying out over the year. But why not set your sights higher than minimum wage anyway? Can you do some training or even volunteering once your younger one gets some free hours so that you’re extending your skill set and making yourself more employable?

I’m in a similar situation children are 4 and 2 years old and I’m qualified for nothing.

I have a children’s yoga teacher training course in August that I’m really excited about as I could run toddler classes in the day when kids are at nursery, then when youngest is a little older take them both with me for evening classes.

It's not impossible, no. But you need to think about the long game. You may not be able to get a bigger mortgage tomorrow by going back to work, and you may actually take a bit of a dip in household earnings in the short term.

Your 3 year old should be eligible for 30 hours funded childcare though, and you would get 20% off that with tax free childcare for any additional hours for your 3 year old and all the hours for your 1 year old. That will be a significant savings.

Even if you only work 30 hours, I can't imagine you would come out in the red each month? You would then only need to pay for childcare for your 1 year old. I currently work 22 hours per week (0.6 FTE contract). I have a 1 year old and a 6 year old. My nursery costs about 400 quid a month, given or take, with tax free childcare. If you worked 4 days, roughly 30 ish hours, it might be 500. You should surely be able to find something, even low skilled, that earns you 500 a month in 30 hours a week.

If you can just break even, it can absolutely be worth it. I went back to work when my now 6 year old was just 1, part-time as it was all we could afford, eventually full-time. After my 2nd mat leave, I went back into a new job with a promotion. I make probably about 20K a year more than I did when I had my first. Just working enough to cover childcare costs meant gaining experience and building my CV. I do work in a skilled niche profession, so my experience is not easily generalisable, but still there are benefits to working and building your skills and confidence while your children are young. We can afford the bigger mortgage now, and there is a lot less financial pressure several years down the line. It didn't happen overnight, but it was a worthy investment at the time. And working part-time initially (and as I do now), I still had plenty of time with my dc too.

You can find part time jobs that's earn a couple of hundred a month that you can do with the kids eg I sold Avon, and I did shopping for a neighbour (pre internet shopping I admit). Or have you considered childminding?

If you work, you need something that you can do with your kids in tow.
How about offering wraparound childcare for one child? You could give him/her breakfast, walk to school with the little ones, pick up etc. I often read on here that this kind of care is hard to find.

Childminder is cheaper than nursery and you should be entitled to free hours for your 3 year old.

Employees are entitled to 28 days holiday - that’s the minimum. So between you and your dh, that’s 56 days, which is just over 11 working weeks. Now, I quite understand that you’ll want to combine some of it as family time, but with young children it makes a lot of sense to split a good chunk of it so that in school holidays you and your dh each take some time off to look after the kids. Say you take a week off together over Christmas, and a week together in the summer holidays to go away somewhere... between you both you would still have over 9 weeks leave.

People often cite school holidays as a reason why they can’t but when you actually drill down into the detail, there are ways of working around things so it really isn’t as bad as you might think. The 28 days is a legal entitlement. You may even get more. And although you can’t always guarantee exactly when you can take it, there’s a good chance that by getting requests in early, you would get a good chunk of school holidays covered.

I’ve heard people moan ‘I can’t work, there are 13 weeks of school holiday to cover’ yet I have never ever in my entire life met a parent who has been forced to take their whole 28 days annual leave entitlement during term time, leaving them with nothing for school holidays.

Could you consider minding another child and getting paid for that? That way you could earn a little and the hours would be only during the day while you're home anyway.

Or like PP suggested, you could offer wraparound childcare where you drop someone's child to and from school and mind them until parents finish work.

I was in this position...I didn't work and still don't even though my DC are both at school.

Only think I think you can do is perhaps get an evening or weekend job?

Or become a childminder? Easier said than done but not impossible.

Evening and weekend jobs are your friend OP.

I'm in the same position OP. No chance of working until youngest is eligible for free hours which is another 21 months away!! We're ok but like you if something crops up we're buggered and there's no money for leisure/holidays etc. It's bargain bucket living atm. Im desperate to get back 😔

OP I think whilst very bloody difficult it's not necessarily impossible, you could look into options other posters have suggested.

I've only just heard of it but have you looked at RedWigwam? They are an online temping agency who do lots of work on the basis of a few hours here, a few there. As I said I can't yet vouch for it as I'm looking into it now myself but I heard of it on MN-- so it must be good!-- Could be an option if you know a week ahead what free time you may have?

If you studying opportunities you can do at home and free try Future Learn. Whilst they may not be recognised as such they are a good way to educate yourself and get more confidence.

Good luck I hope you find a solution that fits your family

In your position I would consider signing up to an employment agency and make yourself available for reception cover and the like at weekends and evenings. If DH is not available then you are not available, there’s no “you must be there” like in a regular job. It could be a good flexible way for you to pick up extra cash, plus making yourself known to employers when you are in a position to take up maybe a part time regular position further down the line?

Ah, cross post with Spaceship above - great minds!

it's not impossible. Have you looked at working in a school or school environment as it is term time only? Plenty of other women do work with pre-schoolers. I am one and so are most of my friends.

Thank you for all the replies! And sorry to those in the same situation, I hear you!

My 3 year old currently gets his 15 hours at the local nursery attached to the school 5 morning per week, 8.30 - 11.40. I don't know anyone who gets 30 hours but I hear about it being discussed, I'm utterly confused by it. We're in Scotland if that makes a difference?

I completed a degree years ago (but didn't really know what to do with it) so I can't get funded to study and obvs can't afford to self fund lol!

Thank youbfor all the suggestions, you've got me thinking, I also have an HNC in a teaching assistant type area so maybe I just need to focus on getting a job there and taking the hit financially until they are in school. I just feel that I have much to give and I want to be working.

Ironically I'd like to move house to get kids into a nicer school but I can't work to earn to move until they start that school. Arghhh.

Yousee

For any of you in a similar situation, if you can commit to small time blocks, exam invigilating this time of year is definitely worth considering, especially if DC are at school. Granted you have to be able to commit as it's exams but it can be easy to fit in.

Evening and weekend would be perfect if oh worked 9-5 but when he is away there's no one to watch the children so really I could only do traditional childcare hours (sad sorry for myself face)!

I worked in a school for a while (primary) as it ticks so many boxes. Turned out I didn't like Other People's Children as much as I thought