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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Too fat to fly

968 replies

loobielousplaits · 02/04/2019 23:55

Is anyone/has anyone watched this?

It's a documentary about massively obese people being interviewed about being taken off flights/too fat to flight.

While I absolutely agree it's a 'fat shaming' programme - I can't agree with some of the comments from the interviewees that have complained they had to leave the plane due to an armrest not being able to go down - a woman wasn't able to visit the toilet, another who couldn't understand why someone would be offended that half their seat was taken up by overspill - a 32 st man was offended that he was asked to leave the aircraft because he couldn't safely fit in the seat and should have paid for two - pilot decided he wasn't safe to fly.

I'm torn - I absolutely understand weight is a huge issue (I was anorexic in my teens) and it is not easy to control your weight but come on - seriously? You cannot expect to be OK to fly if your weight affects health and safety and you can't fit safely in a seat

OP posts:
MadMillie · 07/04/2019 21:17

I might be fat but it seems I might be able to change that more easily than you can change how unpleasant you come across

If you don't encroach in my space I don't care how fat you are. It's up to you to change that though, not me ☺️

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 07/04/2019 21:18

That’s pure nonsense, Georgie

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 07/04/2019 21:21

No it’s not. How difficult is it to have a shred of empathy to people who have weight issues?

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 21:23

No you’re unpleasant because you think you’re better than people larger than you. You have a perfect right to have adequate space, but your attitude about it is horrible.

Actually, I'm no better than than the next person. I have not once said on this thread I'm better then anyone else. People project their insecurities on here. Not once on this thread have I said anything other than I don't want people spilling into my seat. It's very interesting how people think it's their right though. Yes, I'm happy to speak to cabin crew if another is encroaching my space. No, I don't care if me doing so embrasses them.

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 07/04/2019 21:23

Tbf to lots of people. Flying is really stressful for many and having someone touching you by being partially in your seat and being even more uncomfortable just might be the straw that broke camel's back at that point.

People don't generally have a problem with obese people in normal situations. Because why would they🤷‍♀️
On a road, you move out of each other's way. In a restaurant there is usually a possibility to move tables slightly further away from each other. In a bus. Well, standing for 15 min or sharing part of the seat is not that bad.

But on a plane, there is just NO escape.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 21:30

You're right ther is no escape Inspector however obese people don't seem to realise the impact they have on anyone else. If I was obese and stressed about flying then it'd book 2 seats as surely that would alleviate any stress. It's actually no big deal as others are making out on this thread.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 21:32

This reply has been deleted

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InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 07/04/2019 21:33

I agree MadMillie. 2 seats can sort issues for both sides very easily

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 07/04/2019 21:43

I don’t need to thank you. And I haven’t said they shouldn’t. However you speak about overweight people as if they are a different species, like something you’ve wiped off your shoe.

TacoLover · 07/04/2019 21:45

It's been said over and over again on this thread: why someone is overweight is of no consequence - that's a personal issue. But when it comes to an airline seat a person's size can impact on their neighbouring passenger and it has to be addressed.

This. It's horrible feeling a complete stranger's skin spilling onto you on a 14 hour flightAngry

HarrysOwl · 07/04/2019 22:10

obese people don't seem to realise the impact they have on anyone else

That's a ridiculous sweeping statement. You're characterising someone purely based on their weight.

I've travelled extensively and I've had many, many issues of man-spreading cheeky fuckery enroaching in my space. Never had an issue with anyone obese. While I agree someone obese should book two seats for their comfort and those around them, it's unfair and unkind to attribute negative characterisation to anyone purely based on their size.

Not caring about your fellow passengers is not linked to your weight. Arseholes are arseholes. Being obese doesn't make you an arsehole.

Commenting repeatedly using provokative language and having zero empathy does that.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/04/2019 22:53

MadMillie Yes the two seats suggestion have been mentioned by many posters, some obese people agreed they could book two seats.
I can see why posters think you lack empathy, it is the way you word things, many people have made the same point as you but not with such vemon.
I highlighted this probably 20 pages back, the more I read your posts I see they are very nasty.
FWIW I am not obese feeling defensive, your comment regarding a recluse was particularly awful. I can't be bothered to copy and paste them.

YouBumder · 07/04/2019 23:09

It's up to you to change that though, not me

No need to worry your skinny little arse, I wouldn’t want or expect anything from the likes of you.

Original poster
loobielousplaits · 08/04/2019 00:39

You see I absolutely empathise with obese people and the problems they face

What I don't appreciate is people like Bumdeer ridiculing someone 'with a skinny little arse'. I hope that the point I've made is that it's Never ok to judge on weight - if weight encroaches on our space we should absolutely be able to speak up!

OP posts:
Brilliantidiot · 08/04/2019 01:17

As a service, airlines should be addressing this - for the comfort and safety of all passengers

A few posters have replied to this, with differing POVs.

What I was driving at is the airlines addressing it on booking, or on check in. Much the same as the policy on flying while drunk. It's very clear that if you are drunk, you'll not be allowed to fly. For the comfort and safety of everyone. That includes being refused at check in, or boarding. It stops the problem before it reaches the aircraft. You can argue that people can not get drunk, not behave in a dangerous manner, and therefore can do something about it. Very true, but it still happens, so the airlines made policies to go some way to stop drunk people even getting to the aircraft.
So the airlines could adopt a similar policy for the issues that are apparent with obese people not booking two seats and then encroaching on someone else's space. Put the dimensions of the seats on booking - with an explanation that if you don't fit into one seat, you need to book two or you will not be allowed to fly, or book a premium seat or business class seat, train staff in how to tactfully pull someone to one side at check in and explain the issue that they won't fit into one seat, and if possible, offer another seat (paid for by the passenger obviously) or if the flight is booked out, then refusal to board on safety grounds, rearrange to a next flight with 2 seats booked.
Then it doesn't get to the point of someone having to complain, or someone having to leave an aircraft after boarding - that humiliates the person concerned and also delays everyone else, costing the airlines money and pissing everyone off.
I don't expect airlines to start refitting planes, that's unfeasible, but judging by this thread there is a problem that needs to be tackled.

SnapesGreasyHair · 08/04/2019 07:54

Can l just ask....

If you got to your seat first and insisted the armrests were down, but your neighbour couldn't fit in the seat unless it was up - can the flight crew insist on it being raised?

EmeraldShamrock · 08/04/2019 08:26

can the flight crew insist on it being raised?
It must be down for safety reasons.

SnapesGreasyHair · 08/04/2019 08:39

Then why are previous posters having issues with the armrests not being down?

AlaskanOilBaron · 08/04/2019 08:40

Then why are previous posters having issues with the armrests not being down?

It only has to be down during takeoff and landing.

Grumpbum123 · 08/04/2019 08:44

Not an obesity issue but on a recent long haul (12 hour) flight I stupidly didn’t book so ended up by the window seat. The 2 chaps who sat next to me had a whiskey each at the first opportunity then took what must have been heavy duty sleeping tablets so they fell asleep for the whole flight and were not able to be roused so I ended up trapped and unable to drink for the whole flight in case I needed the loo it was hell.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 08/04/2019 08:59

MadMillie you seem almost gleeful in your desire to be as disparaging as possible about obese people. Why is that?

IrmaFayLear · 08/04/2019 10:06

So, what should you do if you are seated next to an obese passenger who is encroaching on your space?

Should you tackle your fellow passenger, eg, "Excuse me, could you move over, please?" Or go straight to cabin crew? What if you are asked to swap to the window instead of the aisle? (I need the aisle: weak bladder!)

I can imagine I would be that crushed passenger because it would be too awkward to say anything.

RottnestFerry · 08/04/2019 10:18

I don't expect airlines to start refitting planes, that's unfeasible, but judging by this thread there is a problem that needs to be tackled

It is, because if the airlines keep shrinking the size of the seats, more and more people are going to get encroached on by passengers who are not remotely fat, just big.

EmeraldShamrock · 08/04/2019 10:33

Or go straight to cabin crew? What if you are asked to swap to the window instead of the aisle? (I need the aisle: weak bladder!)
Yes inform the cabin crew, ask to be moved, everyone agrees it is not fair. I think this will be dealt with when booking your seat in the future, they'll ask for height and weight for H&S reasons.

Hazeintheclouds · 08/04/2019 10:37

Armrests are only required to be down for takeoff and landing? I know I want to use my armrest for most of the flight because...well, I like to use it for arm resting or leaning purposes. 🙄