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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Too fat to fly

968 replies

loobielousplaits · 02/04/2019 23:55

Is anyone/has anyone watched this?

It's a documentary about massively obese people being interviewed about being taken off flights/too fat to flight.

While I absolutely agree it's a 'fat shaming' programme - I can't agree with some of the comments from the interviewees that have complained they had to leave the plane due to an armrest not being able to go down - a woman wasn't able to visit the toilet, another who couldn't understand why someone would be offended that half their seat was taken up by overspill - a 32 st man was offended that he was asked to leave the aircraft because he couldn't safely fit in the seat and should have paid for two - pilot decided he wasn't safe to fly.

I'm torn - I absolutely understand weight is a huge issue (I was anorexic in my teens) and it is not easy to control your weight but come on - seriously? You cannot expect to be OK to fly if your weight affects health and safety and you can't fit safely in a seat

OP posts:

ChocOrCheese · 07/04/2019 17:49

It's not just big arses that potentially cause a problem. What about the snake-hipped bodybuilder with a huge upper body? They'll have to have a seat at the gate and make everyone sit in it to check if they are allowed on board.

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 07/04/2019 18:01

@ChocOrCheese god yeah. Sat next to one guy with really wide shoulders. Luckily he had aisle seat. I think he actually booked it. Can't imagine if he was in the middle😮

Maybe they should have full on dividers which will appear once the arm rest put is down.
And you could slide the top part back inbetween the seats if you are travelling with someone you know. Otherwise it stays on.

MummysBusy · 07/04/2019 18:10

@InspectorClouseauMNdivision i know youre joking but... honestly the most bulletproof idea so far, yes please.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 18:10

Im not looking for "extra space available in the next seat" angry How rude, why would you frame it that way?

You actually did intimate that earlier on the thread.

MummysBusy · 07/04/2019 18:14

Go on, find it then.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 18:15

Im obese, but my husband is just a well built, tall man; neither of us fit in aeroplane seats.

There you go

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 18:20

And your next point is @MummysBusy?

HarrysOwl · 07/04/2019 18:21

@MummysBusy if you were travelling alone would you book one or two seats?

YouBumder · 07/04/2019 18:22

the fact is in my experience the overweight person doesn't give a damn about how they affect other people

Wow :(

I’m obese and now go virtually nowhere because I’m worried about the impact of my size on myself as well as other people. No planes, no public transport, even some restaurants and holiday homes etc are out of bounds. Many of us know exactly what we are and are ashamed and embarrassed enough without being got at by strangers for “inconveniencing” them.

MummysBusy · 07/04/2019 18:26

Can i have a divider wall between me and mad millie please?

@harrysowl i said a while back that i'd try and get the comfort seat if i was on my own. Cant see me ever going alone though tbf.

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 07/04/2019 18:32

I wasn't even joking about retractable dividers. Even if person on next seat wouldn't be encroaching on mine (good luck with that tho) it would be a bliss because it would provide more privacy. And not as expensive to make unlike changing seats to bigger ones. I am going to patent it 😂

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 07/04/2019 18:33

You also suggest that a disabled poster (dizzy ?) should be the one to fork out for the comfort seat. Every post you make contradicts the one before it.
And you’ve just insulted Millie rather than answer her post detailing something you’d denied saying. Are you actually trolling?

TheNavigator · 07/04/2019 18:38

Im obese, but my husband is just a well built, tall man; neither of us fit in aeroplane seats

My husband is a well built, tall man (6 foot, ex rugby player) and he fits just fine in aeroplane seats. Or is 'well built' a euphemism for overweight? For his own comfort DH always books a seat with extra leg room, or an aisle seat, which costs a bit more, but if you are quite large you may have to pay more for comfort.

I cannot believe the selfishness and meanness of really overweight people not pre booking seats that can accommodate them, so someone else has to suffer. It is a bit like people travelling with young children who won't pay to pre book seats then have a massive tanty if they aren't seated together. If you have specific requirements, put your hand in your wallet.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 18:42

The thing is, it's not inconveniencing anyone. I think you're missing the point. People book seats and don't expect the seats they've booked to be encroached by others. As I said earlier in the thread my DH has large shoulders and long legs therefore he books either PE or BC. If he can't then he books a window seat and curls himself into it so he's not spilling into anyone elses seat.

You could,book 2 seats on a plane together, you could choose a restaurant with benches (there's loads that have beer gardens in summer), I don't understand why you can't book a holiday home, or a hotel?

I personally don't like to have my space encroached as I'm not tall and slightly built. I'm sorry but your issues aren't mine and I like to travel in comfort. If your size is making you a recluse then do someothing about it.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 18:53

the fact is in my experience the overweight person doesn't give a damn about how they affect other people

This had been proved over and over again regarding many obese people - the many articles by googling says it all really. I think embarrassment is a factor instead of being able to say 'ok I'm larger than the seat so need to book 2 seats'. I often wonder if it's people just chancing it or people who can't actually face up to their size?

I have never been unable to physically fit into an airline seat, I do know if I was I'd be booking 2 seats to (a)save my embarrassment and (b) not to inconvenience other passengers.

YouBumder · 07/04/2019 18:53

I’m not missing the point. I was quoting someone else who said overweight people didn’t give a damn about inconveniencing others. I am tackling my issues but just as I didn’t get this way overnight it’s not going to be resolved overnight either. Bench seats etc are fine as are seats without arms but I do still worry people won’t get past. I don’t want anyone to be uncomfortable but equally I think some of the prejudice and attitudes about fat people are unfair.

HarrysOwl · 07/04/2019 19:00

I think some of the prejudice and attitudes about fat people are unfair

I agree there are negative attitudes towards obesity and those who are obese, but it still remains that everyone is entitled to sit comfortably in a seat that they've paid for, without worrying a fellow passenger will physically encroach into their space.

It's a difficult and emotive issue, because there seems to be no kind way of putting it.

YouBumder · 07/04/2019 19:02

I get it harry. I was just getting af the asssumption that people tend to think most fat peolle don’t give a shit about other people. It’s not fair to say that.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/04/2019 19:03

I think some of the prejudice and attitudes about fat people are unfair
You're righr they are.
I get the while seat issue, some of the comments referring to overweight people are cruel.
Please don't waste your life staying in. I am a slim person, I wouldn't look twice at you in a restaurant.
MummysBusy You've been very honest and brave on this thread giving a different perspective, your comments have been ripped apart.
Obesity is an addiction like many addictions they hit the most fragile in society.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 19:04

I don’t want anyone to be uncomfortable but equally I think some of the prejudice and attitudes about fat people are unfair.

You responded to some else's post - I responded to yours. The thread is about people not fitting into airline seats. As I responded if people cannot fit into airline seats they should book 2 seats. Other people don't actually care about your embarrassment when their own comfort is compromised. (Well, I don't). I'm not one of those people who want to be squashed with someone else on a plane.

If you feel that is prejudice then that's your issue but my comfort should not be compromised bu someone who spills into my seat.

YouBumder · 07/04/2019 19:27

You’re either not getting or deliberately not understanding what I’m saying. I absolutely agree that no one should be inconvenienced. I’d never do that to anyone, but yet comments that fat people don’t care about anyone else are seemingly Ok.

I might be fat but it seems I might be able to change that more easily than you can change how unpleasant you come across. :)

HarrysOwl · 07/04/2019 19:51

Other people don't actually care about your embarrassment when their own comfort is compromised

Speak for yourself.

I may not want to feel uncomfortable in my seat but I very much care if that person is embarrassed, they are a fellow person.

I may not like my space being encroached but that doesn't mean my sympathy and empathy vanish.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 21:01

Other people don't actually care about your embarrassment when their own comfort is compromised

Well, of course I speak for myself, I've never said otherwise have I? I actually don't understand the point of your comment tbh. Not once have I expected anyone else to agree with me.

MadMillie · 07/04/2019 21:08

I might be fat but it seems I might be able to change that more easily than you can change how unpleasant you come across. smile

Am I upleasant as I'd ask cabin crew to remove me from being crushed in my seat and that would probably embarrass the person whose obese crushing me? Am I unpleasant as I think everyone has the right to travel in comfort and not be crushed due to someone being obese who encroaches in others seats? Or am I unpleasant as I don't put with anyone else being a CF and expecting me to allow them to encroach my seat?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 07/04/2019 21:17

No you’re unpleasant because you think you’re better than people larger than you. You have a perfect right to have adequate space, but your attitude about it is horrible.

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