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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Too fat to fly

968 replies

loobielousplaits · 02/04/2019 23:55

Is anyone/has anyone watched this?

It's a documentary about massively obese people being interviewed about being taken off flights/too fat to flight.

While I absolutely agree it's a 'fat shaming' programme - I can't agree with some of the comments from the interviewees that have complained they had to leave the plane due to an armrest not being able to go down - a woman wasn't able to visit the toilet, another who couldn't understand why someone would be offended that half their seat was taken up by overspill - a 32 st man was offended that he was asked to leave the aircraft because he couldn't safely fit in the seat and should have paid for two - pilot decided he wasn't safe to fly.

I'm torn - I absolutely understand weight is a huge issue (I was anorexic in my teens) and it is not easy to control your weight but come on - seriously? You cannot expect to be OK to fly if your weight affects health and safety and you can't fit safely in a seat

OP posts:
MummysBusy · 05/04/2019 12:15

I commented to point out that people take issue with Fat, not Big. I really, really feel like some of these comments prove my point, but nevermind. I dont think im entitled to more space. Ive explained how we avoid taking up space. Sometimes we cant avoid it. I'll look into the comfort seat, if i ever fly without my husband and child.

WhoAteMyNuts · 05/04/2019 12:16

Mummys did you really suggest that drifting should book a comfort seat simply to stop people spilling into her own seat?

LellowYedbetter · 05/04/2019 12:17

But being big (as in tall or whatever) isn’t a choice is it? I’m tall and my back and legs are agony after a long flight but that’s my problem and it doesn’t affect anyone else. Being fat is usually down to choice

MadMillie · 05/04/2019 12:26

Really, no one sees any issue with these comments?

Nope, because you came on to the thread and posted various selfish comments. I believe you came on here to be deliberately goady.

MummysBusy · 05/04/2019 12:27

If she has a disability that could cause so much pain, i would want her to have the comfort seat. Otherwise its a lottery of who sits down next to her. However you feel about this, noone is going to ban overweight people from air travel and in the meantime she has lost half of her holiday.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/04/2019 12:38

i certainly never said 'why should i?

I didn't say you did; instead I suggested that this is what it comes down to, when the response is "It's ridiculous to expect them all to fork out for extra seats when airlines could maybe just stop shrinking the space in favour of bigger profits"

And while it's entirely your prerogative to disbelieve all who've said they object to being squashed no matter what the cause, that doesn't alter the truth that this may be exactly how they feel

At the end of the day we can't all have exactly what we want at all times. It's reasonable to expect what we've been promised and paid for, but extras come at a cost whether that's more leg room, a seat in first class or anything else

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 05/04/2019 12:45

This reply has been deleted

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InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 05/04/2019 12:50

That sounded bit harsher than intended. In my defence you are really quite infuriating mummy...

MadMillie · 05/04/2019 12:54

It's not difficult to book extra legroom seats or an extra seat, the issue is some people don't want to pay for it while expecting others to put with with being squished. My DH commutes 3 times a week by air to work, he flies long haul probably 3 or 4 times a month. He's over 6ft and a rugby player type with wide shoulders He books extra legroom or business class seats, if there's no seats left with extra legroom or business be books a window seat so he can lean into the window without his shoulders or legs annoying other passengers.

As I've previously said I fly at least once a week - I'm the opposite of DH, I'm not tall and am slightly built. He calls me Polly Pocket I used to put up with people spreading their legs into my seat space, spilling into my seat, asking to use my tray as they couldn't get theirs down and got fed up with it. Why should I when I'm paying a seat and the leg space that goes with it? Some people seem to think if I have extra space in my seat they can use it - well, no they can't. I've come to a point now when I fly if I am sat next to someone spilling into my seat I ask to be moved and I really don't care if they feel offended or not.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/04/2019 13:01

Someone posted about a women ending up getting a DVT due to being squashed

Frankly I'm only waiting for someone to sue an airline for exactly this reason

If they looked like winning I've no doubt the company would settle out of court, but it might just persuade them to do more around disallowing boarding to passengers who won't fit a seat (and yes, that's for any cause)

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/04/2019 13:12

It appears I'm too late again - the suing of airlines already happened:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/2346319.stm

And here are a couple more where is seems the case is still ongoing:

www.theguardian.com/business/2018/nov/16/man-sues-british-airways-ba-for-sitting-him-next-to-fat-passenger

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/05/squashed-australian-sues-american-airlines-seated-obese-passengers/

Kennehora · 05/04/2019 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belenus · 05/04/2019 13:18

People have talked of 'being kind' well, how do you say to someone "please remove your overspill fat from my seat" politely?

That "overspill fat" is part of an actual human being. So I think stick with "please keep to the seat you have bought and paid for and don't encroach on mine". Or "I am going to put the armrest down, you need to stay on your side of it". Anything that's just "this is my space, that is yours, stay in it". Language around overspill indicates to me a level of disgust which is less than kind.

And sure, it's fucking annoying when people assume they can occupy your space, but I would start by being kind first and see where that gets you.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 13:22

I don't care if a person's size is due to muscle or fat, I don't want to share my seat with a stranger.

Clearly there need to be more larger seats (width and legroom). Less serious than incursion into the actual seat but still inconvenient if you've hoped to get some kip is when you can't recline your seat because there's someone's knees up against it. IME such people are usually apologetic rather than taking the entitled attitude of a few of the posters on this thread.

Kennehora · 05/04/2019 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummysBusy · 05/04/2019 13:32

Kennnehora, what the hell is your problem? We are large humans, not blubbering whales. We book seats. She sits on our lap. I rarely travel on a train by myself and certainly not by plane. Stop inventing ways in which we inconvenience people.

YaBumsOnFire · 05/04/2019 13:37

I don't understand how you fit either tbh. You said you don't fit a plane seat and train seats are a similar size. So 2 seats on a train. You take up 1 and a half. That leaves half a seat. You previously said your husband also doesn't fit in a seat, so how does he fit on half a seat? And you have your daughter on your lap too.
It doesn't work.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 05/04/2019 13:41

They fit by each sharing with a smaller passenger and appropriating half their seat. They are presumably as subject to the laws of physics as they rest of us, there is no other way possible.

MummysBusy · 05/04/2019 13:42

Errol, i am incredibly apologetic in person, and very very good at shrinking myself into uncomfortable shapes to avoid being a nuisance. But i am fed up of the fat bashing. You'd get better results pressuring travel companies to change their seats than you would trying to convince a few million individuals to shrink themselves. And yet still we get these threads. And the sensationalist tv shows. And the snide comments when we are just trying to get from A to B as quietly as we can. Yelling at fat people changes nothing.

HarrysOwl · 05/04/2019 13:43

I think a selfish person is a selfish person, whether they're 7 stone or 17 stone.

You'll get some people who are aware of their size and who will try and be thoughtful (whether just largely built or obese) but...

You'll get a lot of cheeky fuckers who believe the world should accommodate them and fuck anyone else.

MummysBusy · 05/04/2019 13:46

....?! I dont know what to tell you. We fit. You know "obese" is a wide weight range, right? We dont literally need a seat per arse cheek.

YaBumsOnFire · 05/04/2019 13:47

Why should anybody pressure the travel companies? It would just push prices up for everyone. Normal weight people are having their space encroached, now their wallets too? Just because overweight people don't take personal responsibility and book 2 seat.

Nobody is fat bashing or yelling. They just want the seats they paid for.

MummysBusy · 05/04/2019 13:51

Im being grilled about the mechanics of how i fit in a seat, but you dont think its fat shaming?

Kennehora · 05/04/2019 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YaBumsOnFire · 05/04/2019 13:55

You're missing the point (willfully misunderstanding I think).

It's not fat shaming to want the seat you paid for and not want to share it with an overweight person spilling onto it.