To not understand why people want a nice house?

[tittletattlelolo]

My two friends are into buying plants/cushions/ornaments/flowers etc etc for their house but i don't get it.
What's the point? Only the people living in it see it.
As long as you have the basics fridge /bed etc
Why do you need all the rest?
A bloody tray with scented candles /those smelly things with the sticks etc
I've tried to get into homey things but I just can't
Am I the only woman who doesn't get it?

OP do you ever put up christmas decorations?
Some holly?
A christmas tree?

*So those who don't care for decoration- a couple of questions;

Do you never decorate?
If wallpaper gets dirty or starts peeling off the wall after decades do you just live with it?
Are you happy to hang up odd blankets as window drapes?
Do you clean the outside of windows- not strictly necessary for hygiene.
Do you have lightshades or happy with bare bulbs?*

Not liking lots of clutter and “ornaments” does not equate to not liking a nice home. I have quality basics I like, lampshades, curtains etc where needed. The house is clean and nicely painted. I do not have stuff that isn’t needed- cushions, candles, sticky stuff, glass dishes with beads in etc.

Does you aesthetic extend to other areas?
Do you wear jewellery?
Are you happy tying up your coat with an old piece of rope?
You OK wearing odd shoes into town as long as they keep out the rain?
Do you wear make up?
Do you ever garden?
Would you put pretty hair clips in your DDs hair?

Again, same applies. I don’t like fussy useless accessories, so no jewellery, scarves, handbags etc. I don’t wear make up because i don’t like it. But I wear clean, quality functional clothes- no ropes as belts or odd shoes. I’m perfectly presentable, just no added extras.

Yes I garden. I like plants- but again I choose functional ones, herbs, scented, or coloured to attract wildlife and insects.

My dd can put pretty hairclips in her hair if she chooses. Her choice.

I think chardonnay sums it up pretty beautifully!

reallyanotherone

Yes so you do have an aethstic sense (and it sounds similar to mine).

I dislike clutter and ornaments, I like my crockery plain and white, very few pictures, very few ornaments.
But It has happened this way because I like my suppoundings plain and simple- it didn't happen by default- that's a concious aesthetic choice.

I don't pretend that it is my lack of interest in the aethetic quality, it's a personal preference to have things like this.

As much as someone choosing to have a house full of victoriana, heavy drapes and stuffed animals.

Thank you. usually.

Nice is so subjective.

I can’t stand seeing random shit in people’s home, it has no purpose apart from collecting dust and looking a bit naff.

"I don't spend my time relaxing or being cosy. I mainly sit in the car. I can't understand people who look forward to going home at the end of the day."

That's so sad. Is your home such an unhappy place DDIJ?

Only the people living in it see it

but surely they are the only people it's worth buying things for?

It's like tidying up your home, I keep a nicely tidied home for the residents (including me), much less sense to do it for visitors who will only be here for a couple of hours and don't care anyway

I can’t stand seeing random shit in people’s home, it has no purpose apart from collecting dust and looking a bit naff.

Maybe the purpose is that it makes them happy and they like it? I'm sure whether or not you find it 'naff' is neither here nor there. Besides, define 'random shit'?

No. Nice things are for the benefit of visitors.

You must be thinking about a shop, not about someone's home.

I don't pretend that it is my lack of interest in the aethetic quality, it's a personal preference to have things like this.

Maybe i’m projecting but that’s how I read the op. That a “nice” home equates to having candles and cushions and sticky stuff, and keeping a nice home involves regular trips to home stores to buy said sticky stuff.

I have a nice home. I object to the idea that a home can only be nice if you spend a shitload of time and money accessorising it

Same as people. I see a woman with jewellery, a scarf, handbag, etc and don’t understand the thought process when you get up on a morning, get dressed, then think oh i must now further decorate myself with the above. I don’t get it. I have nice trousers and a top, why do I need it? But i understand some people must think like that.

Oprah (or maybe someone who was a guest of hers) said ‘your home should rise up to greet you’

That doesn’t mean any set standards, but it should make you happy to be home.

Which doesn’t necessarily take much money, might take a bit of time and effort. But if it’s for your own well being and happiness it’s worth it to feel cosy, comfy and at home.

Maybe part of OP's resentment (it's certainly part of mine) is because all this twatting about 'homemaking' has always been what women are supposed to do instead of, you know, having lives. Who really gives a fuck if the carpet matches the curtains? My house is a tip but I don't care, I've got better things to do than scurry about with a duster.

Really don’t understand this thread

reallyanotherone

Sure, but for me a pleasant home takes some effort.

I like plain light rooms, one or two carefully chosen items that I respond to, I dislike clutter, I maximise storage so a lot of things are out of sight.
That takes as much effort as piling up trollies at Ikea.

No. Nice things are for the benefit of visitors.

Incorrect

We don’t have ornaments, but we have lovely prints, I always burn a scented candle in the evenings, and buy fresh flowers once a week. The throws are simply to protect the couches because we have the hairiest cat in the whole world.

I sort of get what you mean. I do think some people get into a bubble caring about the latest fashion for x or getting the details of y just right. It is possible to care too much when there are so many other things to spend mental energy (and money) on. But on the other hand I do like my home to be clutter free, comfortable and nice to look at, within reason. I care much more now that I'm at home much more.

So those who don't care for decoration- a couple of questions;

Genuine questions. How far does your aesthetic disregard go?

For me it's that I'm aware that my aesthetic desires are largely based on socialisation and marketing, and I don't like falling for that nonsense, especially if it is designed to make me spend money on things I don't need. So while I don't TOTALLY disregard appearances and aesthetics, I do often feel more aware of the falsity of it all. So I try to avoid those trappings, but am happy to admit that I can't always.

Do you never decorate?

We had the walls painted off-white when we built our house. I guess if they eventually get really dirty, we'll repaint over. I don't really like things looking dirty, feels gross.

If wallpaper gets dirty or starts peeling off the wall after decades do you just live with it?

We don't have wallpaper, seems like too much effort for something pointless.

Are you happy to hang up odd blankets as window drapes?

I guess so, yes. We have shutters and no curtains but I did hang an old towel over the window in my DS's room last summer when it was hot and the window needed to be open but the sunlight stopped him napping.

Do you clean the outside of windows- not strictly necessary for hygiene

Yeah, as with the painted walls my lack of aesthetic apathy does not extend to things looking actually dirty.

Do you have lightshades or happy with bare bulbs?

Light shades in bedrooms to stop light being too bright. Elsewhere are these LED light things that come in casing anyway.

Do you wear jewellery?

No.

Are you happy tying up your coat with an old piece of rope?

People tie up coats? I guess if the zip/buttons broke? I'd probably just get a new one from a charity shop for the same price as a bit of rope.

You OK wearing odd shoes into town as long as they keep out the rain?

I think I would be, I'm not sure. I only have 2 pairs of shoes (and a pair of flip flops) so it seems unlikely that I'd ever have to.

Do you wear make up?

No.

Do you ever garden?

My garden is fulls of fruits and vegetables, which I find very pleasing to look at, although no effort went into trying to make it look "nice". Plants naturally look nice IMO, without any design or effort.

Would you put pretty hair clips in your DDs hair?

No but I suppose I do use coloured bands because it's more fun than plain ones.

I am at home all day so my environment matters to me.

Really don’t understand this thread

Me neither. I don't buy, what I consider to be nice things, for the benefit of visitors. I have them for me and DH. 'Nice' is subjective anyway.

*No. Nice things are for the benefit of visitors.

Incorrect*

Depends. The older generation at least a lot of their home decor is based on impressing visitors. Doulton ladies and the like were an overt demonstration that you were rich enough to have cash spare for such things.

My mum is definitely of the impressing the neighbours mindset. She says things like “people don’t like a blank wall”, “the neighbours will think you’re poor if the curtains don’t match”, “visitors will expect teacups/saucers/teapot, mugs are common...”, and my particular favourite “anyone looking through the window will think (insert opinion on my lack of nicnaks)”

I don’t give a shit. Pro