Mothers day moaning threads

[Eliza9917]

For many people, with fertility issues or who have lost a child, etc etc etc the kid/s alone would be reward enough.

Stop fucking moaning you didn't get a card ffs and be glad you have your kids

Three threads on this tonight alone.

This fucks me right off!

It’s not the whole world’s problem if you can’t have children.

FFS! Are women supposed to be so eternally grateful that they have reproduced that they’re never, ever allowed to have disappointments or upsets or anger or just plain feeling shitty because they’re now Mothers???

Why, WHY are there women in the world who find fault with other women all the fucking time????

I have a wonderful husband, wonderful children and had a wonderful mother’s day. This morning my daughter was a total asshole.

I’m allowed to complain about it cause it was a rough morning.

I don’t have to suffer shit days in silence because I was lucky enough to have children.

And who are you to decide that cards and presents aren’t important? They might be important to someone for a whole host of reasons! None of which are your business or concern.

You know, you can be grateful you have children and also a little disappointed that you weren’t acknowledged on mother’s day. One doesn’t cancel the other

YABU.
I spent some of MD at the cemetery so I could spend it with all of my children.

Last year I didn't get anything, I'm not after huge gifts etc just cards, home made would have been fine. But I didn't.

I won't have anyone tell me I was U for being upset at the total lack of thought I encountered last year, despite appreciating that three of my kids are living.

Fortunately my expression of upset last year had an effect, I got cards and a thoughtful gift this year.

I suppose I should just accept shoddy treatment from my family and be a doormat though, OP?

Why is every gift on MN always described as ‘a load of tat’ every card a ‘piece of cardboard’ is that what you think when you choose a gift to give? ‘I’ll just give them this tat?’ How awful it must be to that unhappy with life.......surely no gift, especially from a young child, would be considered tat?

@ Eliza9917 - Your (not you, 'you' in general) kids should be enough. Appreciate them instead of crappy materialistic shit and think of others who don't even have that before moaning you didn't get a load of tat.

You sound really sanctimonious and completely lacking in empathy here. I have not seen any threads where grabby women simply wanted "crappy materialistic shit". I have, however, seen threads where the lack of appreciation shown generally by children and partners is magnified on mothers' day.

On MD this year, ds1 and ds2 phoned to wish me happy mothers' day (both away). Dd bought me a tartlet from a local bakery. I was perfectly happy with this because my dc generally appreciate me and my dh is very supportive and is a partner in our relationship. Someone who is generally not appreciated might have felt hurt at the lack of effort as it is indicative of bigger issues.

Maybe, before projecting your own issues onto other people's behaviour, have a bit of a think and try and see that just because they have what you want, all is not necessarily rosy in their lives.

No one else apart from you is responsible for your emotional well being.
Try telling that to the OP. The irony of your post is hilarious jameswong.

YANBU if you're talking about people moaning about not getting stuff, expensive gifts, meals out etc. But YABU if you're talking about mums who haven't had the day acknowledged at all, and as a PP said I think this is probably a DP problem rather than the kids. Especially when they're little (too little to acknowledge the day off their own backs).

I say this as someone who has suffered baby loss, so I get that it's a difficult and sensitive day for many. I don't think most moaning Mother's Day threads are about wanting loads of expensive gifts or stuff though. Just wanting appreciation in a very basic way, a card or an extra hour in bed would do it.... It's a hard and often thankless job and it doesn't take much to say thank you and I love you (or be prompted to do this by another adult, especially if DCs are v v little).

YANBU if you're talking about people moaning about not getting stuff, expensive gifts, meals out etc.

Well, no not really. Because nobody has any idea why someone would expect a meal, a certain gift etc.

And it’s nobody’s business either way.

Christ on a bike! How fucking sanctimonious.

Oh, and a “load of tat” from your children can be really special.

Just because gifts don’t pass some random person’s test of being worth it, doesn’t mean they’re not liked and appreciated. 🙄🙄🙄

Would it not just be easier to accept that everyone feels things differently instead of being unpleasant to one another. Disappointment often runs deeper and deep rooted feelings take many forms when they come out. I am able to get pregnant but won't be doing so as I have a genetic disorder with a 50% pass on rate and no screening. I suffer horribly, and won't risk that for a child I love too much in hypothesis to risk that on.

With that said I don't object at all to those who feel underappreciated feeling that way, quite the opposite really, I really feel for them. If you don't, that's also fine but why share sentiments that belittle others- what's the point at the end of the day. It's it's so clearly about deeper issues, or their DP not fulfilling a need or expectation. The 'ffs get a grip' approach to anyone's feelings or sadness or insecurity never actually works does it, for anything, nor is it kind.

If you were able to experience mothers day feeling happy with your situation sans effort, just because having children made that day enough, then that's brilliant- but there doesn't need to be a hierarchy in place that means you're better in some way than another person. I am quite certain we all have our moments and fall short of pious morality on other issues if not this. Live and let live, I say.

@DioneTheDiabolist

Fair point RE the OP, conceded. I hadn't considered that. On 2nd thoughts, the advice in my response applies as much to the OP as anyone else.

OP is BU, as are those complaining about how they're families approached mother's day.

I guess Mother’s Day is just very in your face. It can be a hard day for many women. People who’ve lost a baby or child, those who’ve lost their mums and those who can’t have or are struggling to have a baby and I understand that the OP is just venting on MN but I doubt this thread will make her feel any better.

I stayed away from MN the last couple days for this reason. Accidentally clicked on one thread where a woman was complaining she 'only' got a plaque and home made card. People are ridiculous and insensitive sometimes.

How was that ridiculous and insensitive? It was her situation in her life. She posted her own thread about it. Insensitive? How?

It was definitely ridiculous to complain that your gift was not 'enough' - not that she got nothing, not that she wasn't appreciated - but that what she got wasn't enough. And that's the same regardless of 'holiday'.

Insensitive I know isn't intentional. People just don't realise how lucky they are sometimes and were all guilty of that. And I'm also not saying she shouldn't post, just that I stayed off MN for that reason.

Yabu by moaning about people moaning and starting a thread about it

Oh naff off. Should we ban birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc because it's all just tat? So what if it lacks the class you seek. The tattiest crap in the world is worth its weight in gold when it comes from your kids.

My fb was full of 'spare a thought for those who can't be mums' posts on Sunday. Sali Hughes was brave enough to acknowledge this, and be celebratory despite being estranged from her own mother.

Mother’s Day makes me feel awkward.
I don’t like that my DC are expected to treat me a certain way on one day, I want them to treat me nicely all the time!
I always tell them I don’t want a card
I gave my mum a small plant. Out of duty. It isn’t a day I feel any fuss over at all

I agree with you. I spent Mothers Day with my children. MIL told my DH off for not giving me a lie in or taking me out for the day. I pointed out that (although I would be quite happy to recieve treats) I feel glad to be a mother.
Similarly with my birthday. I didn't want DH to spend money we didn't have on stuff I didn't want.

BishopBrennan

I do get really pissed off by the people who come on here and make out they're somehow superior for not caring about Mothers' Day (or birthdays, or proposals, or pretty much any event that other people do usually care about). It's just a preference, you're not impressing anyone. In fact, compared to people like BishopBrennan, you end up looking quite the dick.

Sounds like your dh just couldn’t be arsed, Jenny!

Isn't this just so last Sunday?

It is sexist bullshit. Women should lower their expectations and appreciate whaf they've got. Women should consider other people’s feelings before their own every. single. time.

I have NEVER seen a post on father’s day telling fathers to remember people who haven't been able to have children.

As difficult as the things the OP mentioned are, this is a parenting website. so be prepared to read from ecstatic to depressed about everything.

If Mother's day is likely to upset you,avoid here for a day.

My best friend of 16 years has fertility issues. I still moan to her about parenting stuff. She loves it because I don't treat her different to any of my other friends. Everyone with fertility issues has different views. You can't please everyone, and sometimes you need a rant. No matter what anyone's been through it doesn't take away from their personal problems. My ex tried to kill me, do I judge my friends because they moan that their ex swapped days or brought the kids back early? Do I fuck. Because everyone needs a rant from time to time and who are we to judge what is insignificant in others lives?

Sorry you are feeling this way OP but YAB very U.