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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD? husband looking at FIFO work

63 replies

ApplePieIsAmazing · 01/04/2019 22:03

My husband has been looking at the idea of FIFO work. Especially because we are looking at relocating to another city next year. The money would definitely help but being an electrician he wouldn't really struggle to find a job that isn't fifo.

I'm not really keen on the idea. I have seen so many relationships break down because of fifo, not to say they all do but they definitely make marriages harder. On the other hand the extra money would be handy.

I feel like this is a decision we both need to be on board with. So wwyd regarding fifo? And wibu to say I don't want him working away? The roster would be 8 days away, 6 home

OP posts:
Original poster
ApplePieIsAmazing · 01/04/2019 23:01

Blueshoes currently we both work 13 hour shifts in a plant, I do what he does and I can tell you that working those hours and doing night shift really knocks you. Your first day off you arent really human, and tbh I just remembered another factor. Cleaning up and dealing with the animals and everything whilst I still work the hours I do

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 01/04/2019 23:01

It’s not essential to see him every night,nice but not mandatory
So of you want a high salary FIFO will give that,with travel away on site
The imposition/inconveniences is really being borne by your partner,not you

careerchange456 · 01/04/2019 23:04

6 days off is very good!

My DH works away and gets 2 days off at home. We have 2 young children and I work full time too. It is what it is and you make the best of the time off. I'd prefer DH worked close to home but then we spend more of our time off as a family then some of our friends who live together but do their own thing far more.

blueshoes · 01/04/2019 23:11

I am not sure I fully understand your circumstances. Doing 13 hours and night shift. Dealing with animals? Dead on the first day off. Are you talking about yourself or your dh FIFO?

Original poster
ApplePieIsAmazing · 01/04/2019 23:17

Sorry, I just finished night shift, I'll try be more clear

Currently, DH and I both work 13 hour shifts. 2 days, 3 night's. We then have 4 or 5 days off. That means we need to clean, wash clothes, look after animals, cook meals for work and get in some relax time before we go back.

If DH gets a FIFO job, I will still be working the same hours, those jobs will just fall on me

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 01/04/2019 23:19

Ahh i see,you’ll be home alone potentially stuck with all the domestics
When he’s off will he not to chores,help out esp if you’re at work?
What’s your thoughts,it’ll be a increased salary,is that enough of a pull

blueshoes · 01/04/2019 23:24

It sounds tough I guess. I can work (ok, office work) in the office for 12 hours + 2 hour commute for a few days in a row and come home to a family home to run and 2 children/school to organise and don't have anything like 4 days off to recover. Granted my dh shares the load but I would think that without kids I could whack through all that housework/admin/cleaning in one day and rest for 3 days with the animals. It would be a dream for me.

You will be like an adult living on your own, but not quite as bad as a single parent.

blueshoes · 01/04/2019 23:26

Your dh is not gone forever. He will still be back for 6 days and could do the housework etc then. Therefore, not all the domestics will fall to you all the time.

I think you don't like him to be away, that's all.

Original poster
ApplePieIsAmazing · 01/04/2019 23:28

Blueshoes perhaps since I don't have children I don't know what "busy" truly is yet Grin I suppose DH and I could agree to every 6 months looking at the situation and if either one one us isn't happy, we pull the pin on it

OP posts:
Original poster
ApplePieIsAmazing · 01/04/2019 23:28

And I definitely don't like him being away, I'm a creature of habit. This might help me break that I suppose

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 01/04/2019 23:29

Have a look on fb for some dedicated fifo wives pages for a better insight.

Pinkbells · 01/04/2019 23:35

I've never heard of FIFO, and not sure if I understand the messages in the thread exactly but if you are asking about him working away for so many days then staying home then working away again, it depends on you both of course! My husband had a few contracts like this and although it was disruptive he was earning pretty well (£600-800 a day) so we decided it was worth it, for short bursts. I think the longest contract was about 8 months (working abroad but still in the UK) so we had weekends but that was it. Short term it was doable but any longer and we both agreed it would be just too disruptive to family life. It is so important that you are both happy with the arrangement, though.

blueshoes · 01/04/2019 23:36

I do think it is worth a try, especially since it is your dh wanting to FIFO and it will actually be harder on him than you (on the basis he does not get left off housework etc on his days off. You can always revisit if it is not working out, but that would still be 6 months or so of FIFO earnings in the bag.

I am not sure you can continue to work the shifts you describe when children are here. Therefore, you could be looking at a drop in household income. You will need your dh to be around far far more when the dcs are young than now when it is just the both of you. Therefore, take every opportunity to build up your savings when you still have the flexibility to do so.

Purpleartichoke · 01/04/2019 23:40

What is involved with the animals? A couple of dogs? You can handle. You keep 50 head of cattle and 75 chickens? I would balk at going solo.

Original poster
ApplePieIsAmazing · 01/04/2019 23:43

2 dogs, 2 cats. The dogs are high energy and need to be walked often. I don't feel comfortable with a dog walker because I don't really like strangers in the house when someone isn't home ifykwim

OP posts:
MazDazzle · 02/04/2019 00:05

Giving it a 6 month trial sounds like a good idea.

My DH has always worked away from home. Currently his rotation is 24 days away (working every day) then 18 days at home. It takes him a few days to catch up on sleep and get back into the swing of things. Realistically, it feels more like 4 weeks away, 2 at home. It’s the only life we’ve ever known.

On the plus side: we communicate daily via messenger and make an effort to include each other in our day to day lives, we make the most of the time he has when he’s at home and he gets to do things that some FT working dads don’t get to do (he volunteers at their school and does the school run and taxi-ing to and from after school activities). It’s been tough at times. He had to go back to work just days after our kids were born and missed the birth of our first. He has also missed Christmasses, birthdays, weddings, funerals...

I work PT. If I worked FT I’d hardly see him when he’s home and it would be tough when he’s away.

HennyPennyHorror · 02/04/2019 00:29

Well you won't be cleaning up after him or washing his clothes if he's not there will you? It will just be you...and surely the animals need looking after all the time anyway? Not just when you're off.

CrumpetyTea · 02/04/2019 00:36

I think the animals /domestic are like a slightly lighter version of what it would be like with children!
How will it link in with your shifts? if you are doing your 2 days/3 nights when he is home you won't get to see him at all. If you could both FIFO it might make sense more (other than the animals)

I have seen it work but i've also seen people find it hard to adjust when they go back to normal life- they miss the down time or the time alone

Original poster
ApplePieIsAmazing · 02/04/2019 00:38

Thanks for your input MazDazzle, if it's worked for other families there's no reason it can't work for ours

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 02/04/2019 00:52

The biggest thing for me would not be wanting to keep doing it once you have children of that is your plan. I would save as much extra as you can and plan on the job stopping in early pregnancy and switching to something local.

moomoomummy · 02/04/2019 00:57

whats the commute? If its an east coast to Perth one, that's pretty hard but if its an easier commute I would consider for a short time ie afew years. Save save save and then look for another job. I live in a big FIFO area because there aren't many jobs here. lots of people make it work.

tomatosalt · 02/04/2019 01:08

I would never, ever agree to my partner being FIFO unless the alternative was destitution. I have seen a lot of relationships end because of it. The at home partner gets used to space without the other and dislikes it when their FIFO partner comes home and starts trying to tell them how to run their home, discipline the kids etc. This is especially true when they have very young children and perceive that they have been lumped with all the hard work of their shared children. The FIFO partner is often working very long hours, living in crappy accomodation and unable to even cook their own food. Working on a FIFO mine site in Australia is not the same as some of the work away from home set ups people in the UK know about. FIFO workers seem to end up pretty miserable and depressed and then return home to find that they are an outsider in their own home. Two people I know tried ice (methamphetamine) on mine sites and ended up addicted and unemployed after it was picked up on routine drug testing.
I think one of the worst thing about FIFO is that once you’re accustomed to the lifestyle that the money affords you it is very hard to return to a normal job. I believe it’s called ‘golden handcuffs’.
www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/miners-are-dying-the-human-cost-of-was-fifo-economy-20171012-gyzp0y.html

PBobs · 02/04/2019 01:51

I have a couple of friends who did this. One took FIFO work overseas in a mine. The other took FIFO work even further overseas on oil rigs. Their partners didn't mind at that time. As a family they made a mint and could afford to buy their own homes in lovely places and set up their own businesses etc off the back of it. That said, it was always for a finite amount of time and we all knew how long it was for. I think that is what made the difference. It was time bound. That said, the Australian mines were miserable and not something I would touch with a barge pole although my friend came out of it entirely unscathed.

I don't think that jobs like this have to end badly. I am in a job like this right now and it is exhausting. I get paid very well and have saved more money in the last year than I had ever saved in my entire working life before taking this job. There is no way I will be doing this for life but I will do it until I can move onto the next phase of my life. DH and I work in the same field and feel the same way. We have frequent (more than weekly) temperature check discussions about how we are feeling; how much longer we want to be in it for; what we get out of it; etc. I love my work but it's not something I could do for life - although thousands do. DH has a spreadsheet of our financial situation and updates it every month. We have a goal and when we achieve it we will stop. Communication is key. Not letting it get away from you and not allowing it to go on and on is the game changer here I think.

OP have you talked about how long this would be for?

PBobs · 02/04/2019 01:53

Just to clarify, I'm not FIFO. I am overseas working in a very intense environment with a good salary and excellent benefits. Many people have been at my workplace for years because they don't want to walk away from the money.

HerRoyalNotness · 02/04/2019 02:02

8 days away, 6 at home is a very good rotation, not long enough to resent, or feel like he's upsetting the household when he's back.

We did it for 2yrs, 8wks away/2 weeks st home. The money kept us afloat tbh, but we're not that great in the relationship and he's been back a year now.

On balance for that rotation I'd say it would probably be ok