To ask people to take shoes off?

[billybobandsue]

Not in my rooms with carpet just bathroom.
Only if they have heels on.
I got some new flooring about 8 weeks ago and every time before a night out my friends go in with heels on ...I've noticed heel marks all over the floor now :-(
Aibu to say can you take the heels off?

@LaurieMarlow I'm not a fan of feet either but I have small children who put things off the floor into their mouths. So because of that my house is shoes off. What the hell my house was like that before the kids came along. I never understand people who walk about their houses wearing shoes, how uncomfortable. I can't wait to get home to kick mine off and chuck some fluffy socks on.

Each to their own and all that but it's not a bit off me. I take mine off at peoples house and if they say not to bother I'll keep them on. I just take them off naturally through habit.

I never wear shoes in the house and would always take them off. My friends know that, they still ask me to visit so clearly I haven't upset anyone too much. How do people who don't like feet cope when everyone is wearing sandals?

i have small children who put things off the floor into their mouths

So do I. I attribute at least some of the credit for their cast iron immune systems to the fact that they’re in a shoes on house.

I don’t care what others do though. I don’t particularly like being asked to take my shoes off in other people’s houses, but their house their rules.

How do people who don't like feet cope when everyone is wearing sandals?

Fine so long as they don’t take them off. Sweaty soles are my issue.

If it’s damaging your floors you have every right to ask guests to take off shoes in your home. We have a no shoes on in the house rule, but only have a few visitors who are close friends and they have the same rules in their own homes. The germs that come in on shoes namely dog poo traces make me shudder not hygienic when you have kids playing on the floor imo each to their own but shoes are for outside use

@EscapeAnywhere - On what planet could you find that offensive?! I'm permenantly in hiking boots usually covered in at least a thin layer of mud.

I said I would consider it rude and overly familiar. I didn't say I would be offended. Obviously, shoes covered in mud are different, but I would still find it overly familiar for you to be barefoot.

@EscapeAnywhere - Some people love to find a any reason to be offended.

Again, I did not say I would be offended. I said I would think they were rude and unwelcoming.

@EscapeAnywhere - also, that article only applies to toilets without lids.

Unless every single person who uses the toilet puts the lid down when flushing, the results are the same.

@Butttons - How can asking someone to take their shoes off be rude and unwelcoming? Surely as a guest you go by the house rules?

Of course I comply with their house rules. I stated that in my post. It's very easy to consider it rude and unwelcoming if it is not the norm where you live. It indicates, to me, that they prioritise their floors over their guest's comfort.

@Greenlegobox - If someone came to my house and took off their shoes I'd think they were mad. Unless they had riding boots or wellies. I'm in Ireland though and the only people who routinely didn't wear shoes in the house were Polish neighbours.

I'm in Ireland too😁.

I’m not in Ireland and shoe removal is an alien concept to me. Until I met my stepchildren I’d never heard of it. Their mother must have introduced it post separation because my husband has never taken his off.

It's not massively noticeable but I don't want them to be all over

@billybobandsue - despite me thinking shoes off is gross, I think if people are wearing such narrow heels, it would be fair enough to point out the damage and offer them a pair of slippers or something while using the toilet. I assume it's only a very small minority of your visitors who are wearing stilettos.

I said I would consider it rude and overly familiar. I didn't say I would be offended

So how do you feel when someone is rude or over familiar?

The word you're looking for will be....offended.

@doIreallyneedto it is only a few friends or friends of friends who gather at mine for drinks before going out

I find the slippers so helpfully provided when someone asks you to take your shoes off really off-putting.

Having said that, it's only happened to me once or twice, the vast majority of people don't make a fuss.

I've never worn stilettos in my life though.

offer them a pair of slippers or something while using the toilet

Only on MN - toilet slippers! Of course!

Wearing someone else's skanky slippers - much better than just, I don't know, taking your shoes off.

How anyone could think it's appropriate to trapse your possibly shitty, pissy, spitty shoes on your guest's flooring is mind blowing.

It's respectful to offer to remove them. And especially if I had heels on I'd automatically take them off on hard flooring, because, you know, that's a respectful and courteous thing you'd do as a guest.

@billybobandsue that's awful 😩 I'd be pretty upset if that was my floor.

@EscapeAnywhere - So how do you feel when someone is rude or over familiar? The word you're looking for will be....offended.

Offended - definition: resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.

rude - definition: impolite or bad-mannered

familiar - definition: in close friendship; intimate.

overly - definition: excessively

So no, offended is not the word I'm looking for. I can consider someone to be rude and overly familiar without talking offence. I would generally assume that they are not attempting to insult me so I do not perceive it as an insult. In order fo me to be offended I would need to perceive it as a personal insult

@EscapeAnywhere - It's respectful to offer to remove them.

In your world, perhaps, but as can be seen by the replies to this thread, that is not the case in other people's world.

I would find that to be a really gross request.

Yup, definitely reads as though you would interpret that pretty personally, finding it
-gross
-rude
-disrespectful
-overfamiliar

But you're being pedantic about not being offended? Of course you are if the above all apply.

@EscapeAnywhere - maybe re-read the definition of offended a couple more times. It might penetrate after a bit of repetition.

I hate hate hate being asked to take my shoes off in people's houses, but in this case I think it's a totally reasonable request.

that is not the case in other people's world

Evidently! MN bathroom slipper madness, I tell you. Madness...

I can't be bothered with etiquette for the most part, to be honest. It feels like it's part of outdated heirarchies; like stirring your tea in the wrong way or wearing the 'wrong' length skirt.

I just feel sorry for OP whose lovely floor is damaged because her guests didn't have the common sense to take their heels off, all because OP may or may not commit some godawful offence by asking them not to ruin her flooring.

maybe re-read the definition of offended a couple more times. It might penetrate after a bit of repetition

Maybe send me a snapshot of your face while I re-read? I love pictures with writing. They help me understand the big words.

Your house, your rules. Do what you want .

Fortunately 90% of my guests are polite enough to remove their shoes without asking.

I said I would consider it rude and overly familiar.

@EscapeAnywhere - Maybe send me a snapshot of your face while I re-read? I love pictures with writing. They help me understand the big words.

Given that I'm not at all offended, it would be unlikely to help. I'm sure though, you can access some help if you struggle with big words and other forms of literacy.

Wow, this became heated quickly. It’s even more vitriolic than all the other shoes on/off threads I’ve seen before.

Shoes are off as soon as you walk in the door in my house, it’s my house so my rolls. And I have stone floors, so it’s easy to wipe any dirt.