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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to say id prefer them not to come - step children.

65 replies

ItsaDressWithPockets · 01/04/2019 14:28

Me and DP are getting married this year, together for 5 years.

His parents were talking to us about the wedding and asked us where we are all going on honeymoon and said in front of the children that they assume we will be taking them with us.

I now feel incredibly awkward as I'd hoped me and DP could look at 5 days/ a week somewhere on our own for our honeymoon.

He's said he doesn't mind either way but I feel like im being judged if I say id prefer it to be me and him.

For what it's worth, I have a good relationship with the kids, it's nothing to do with them but AIBU to want to honeymoon on our own?

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/04/2019 16:46

Unless you regularly (ie annually or every couple of years) have nice holidays at home/ abroad I think going on an all out honeymoon would send the wrong message to the children tbh. What I mean Is if you only go camping with your s dcs I understand why your in laws would be irked if you didn’t take the children with you. So I think if this is the case you should consider having a more affordable holiday just the two of you and take the children somewhere nice next year.

EL8888 · 01/04/2019 16:52

So what if the in laws are irked. It’s not their wedding or children. It’s none of their business. It would be useful and interesting to find out why they mentioned it in front of the children. Why shouldn’t they go away on honeymoon it’s hardly a yearly thing. I think it does everyone good (children included) that you don’t get to go to everything.

Original poster

ItsaDressWithPockets · 01/04/2019 16:52

We do go on holidays (try to annually). We went to Spain with them last summer for example.

I mean we try to have weekend breaks throughout the year too which we'll continue to do this year but probably can't afford to go on a second week long abroad holiday as well as honeymoon as PP have suggested.

OP posts:

RomanyQueen1 · 01/04/2019 17:03

YANBU surely the dc will be with their mother.
It's not a family holiday, I know people who haven't taken their own dc on honeymoon. I'll probably have my gd when their parents go on honeymoon too.

missteddy · 01/04/2019 17:09

Yanbu I don't think children belong on honeymoons either, I'm getting married in August and I will have to take mine, because he's a little gate crasher who will only be about 6 weeks old when we get married
So have changed my plans and we will go somewhere in the UK but when he's a bit bigger my mum will watch him so we can go on a proper honeymoon 😁

BloomsButtons · 01/04/2019 17:09

Have your honeymoon just you two OP.

DH and I ended up taking ours with us and it was not a honeymoon in any sense!!

BollocksToBrexit · 01/04/2019 17:12

YANBU

When DH and I got married we didn't take DD on our honeymoon. She's been on every other holiday we've ever had, just not that one. In fact she's 26 now and still comes on all our holidays.

ChicCroissant · 01/04/2019 17:29

Parents obviously had separate beds and chastity belts on when they went on honeymoon grin

No, they probably didn't have children though! Bear in mind it's likely to be a completely different scenario than what they are used to so I can see where they are coming from tbh. They are probably thinking more of the family element than a bride and groom.

Original poster

ItsaDressWithPockets · 01/04/2019 17:32

If they lived with us permanently and there was no one to have them I can understand why some people have to. But we can easily arrange it for when they are with their mum anyway, so it would be as if we were going purposefully out of our way to take them on our honeymoon which I just think would be a bit... strange?!

OP posts:

NannyRed · 01/04/2019 17:35

It’s your honeymoon and that is different to a family holiday. Go with your husband, leave the family at home and enjoy your first steps into married life.

Yanbu to want your new husband all to yourself for a few days.

Billben · 01/04/2019 17:39

Who takes their kids with them on a honeymoon?🙄

blackteasplease · 01/04/2019 17:41

Yanbu

Kids don't need to come on your honeymoon!

PinkCrayon · 01/04/2019 17:46

Yanbu at all. Go on your honeymoon as a couple!
It is nothing to do with the inlaws!

NWQM · 01/04/2019 18:44

If your in laws carry on suggesting this then your DH-to-be could throw a strop that he didn't go on theirs. My then fine year old wouldn't speak to me one day for the because she hadn't been on ours or at the wedding! She wanted a clear explanation of why she wasn't a bridesmaid....Er you weren't born till 3 years later, love... wasn't good enough apparently. She would still - at 7 - say you are being unreasonable

Jacketpotatoes · 01/04/2019 19:22

YANBU

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