Do you think you're a nice person?

[imnotnice]

I know it might sound like an odd question but talking to my therapist its come out that one of my core beliefs about myself is that Im not a nice person. She was pretty confused as to why I would think that but I really deep down feel like that.

Interesting question.
I start out any relationship with someone as a positive, optimistic place. I treat everyone the same.
However, I come from a place where my plate is full of crap and I don't have room for anymore (Narcissistic mom/dysfunctional family). So I'm nice, but I don't take shit of people, no room for it emotionally.
So when I'm nice, I'm nice, but if you hurt me/upset me and depending on the scale of it or the number of times, your out! I don't suffer fools gladly. So for those, I've given the old chop, they probably don't think I'm very nice.

I'm not and I don't aspire to be.

This. 'Nice' isn't an accurate descriptor -- it's the kind of bland, all-purpose statement people bleat about someone they hardly know, but who has behaved vaguely friendlily towards them on an initial encounter. Is this person any more than a nodding dog or a chronic people pleaser, who is too insecure to do more than be polite to people because she's afraid of being disliked? What does this 'nice' person do in a situation which necessarily involves confrontation?

If I am trying to be anything within myself, it's not to be weak or mean, or to fail to make use of my span of years on the planet. And I care hugely about the quality of my work.

Usually I think I'm an OK, decent person, but have periods of self doubt. I often think I'm too fat, and too rough round the edges (I have a broad London accent, and a tendency to Tourettes when stressed. However, I have a strong sense of empathy and am very aware of, and opposed to, social injustices.

I'm kind to children, animals, and anyone else who is vulnerable.

I think I'm nice - the only time I'm not nice is when someone isn't nice to me - I'm not a forgiver at all, but will do anything for anyone until such times as someone abuses my niceness and then they're gone

I used to be. But now I'm just spiteful and bitter, and it's only come about in the last 2 years. After I had my daughter.

In some ways I don’t think it’s really helpful to think of yourself as a “this” person or a “that” person but to think about your behaviour and why you’re behaving like that. Same as calling a child’s behaviour naughty rather than calling the child naughty. Having unkind thoughts and doing unkind things are very different. Do you do things to people that are “not nice”? In any case, you don’t have to be nice to be liked and vice versa, and no one is liked by everyone. It sounds like you could start by being nicer to yourself!!

I’m another one who tends to treat people how they treat me.
I start off in the basis of how I’d like to be treated but quickly pick up on people who aren’t going to be good for me to know.
I do think that we could do with more kindness in the world generally.

I have been too nice in the past. I have learnt some people don't deserve it. I try to stick to fair but say what I think otherwise I end up a doormat.

this

I have very good self esteem but I can recognise that I’m not always the nicest person. Sometimes my mood gets the better of me. I don’t feel horrifically bad about it but life and people can be irritating at times for sometimes no real reason and my thoughts can reflect that unfairly. I’m aware of it! And am mostly nice and do my best to treat everyone well.

Nope, I'm not nice, I am actually rather awful as a person.

What's more, I am very comfortable with that and I hold myself in high regard.

I am lazy, conceited, I lie through my teeth when it suits me, my thoughts are really quite nasty, I judge people, I have no patience for them, I am not interested in them and their lives.

I have friends because they amuse me, they keep me from being bored. I'm also charismatic as hell, can charm just about anyone if I want to, and talk them into lowering my workload.

I do 'nice things' though, for social kudos. I don't think I'm a monster, certainly not a psychopath (I do feel empathy. Sometimes. I feel sorry for people but only when something Serious happens, death of a goldfish just makes me roll my eyes). But I am pretty damn selfish.

I actively try and be a nice person all of the time.

If ever I'm not, i feel fucking horrendous about it forever more and it's not worth the grief.

I think I'm nice sometimes. I try to be. I will offer help because I genuinely want someone to feel better, rather than doing it to give myself brownie points... I'll try to say positive things, and look for the positives, rather than more obvious negative things, and not moan or whinge too much, as I don't want to be a person that others don't want around.

I'm getting it wrong still, as fundamentally I'm not likeable. I do feel forlorn about that but there's no fix. Way it goes...

Hoping your therapy and counselling works out for you OP, your therapist sounds great.

Im a nice person, not a very warm person though and not great with people I wish I was better in that regard.

I'm likable on a superficial level, but not nice. I'm not too fussed by this tbh, I'm nice to people I really care about, or strangers if I can see a reason to be. Sometimes I'm in a generally good mood and I'm nice to everyone, but not often.

So I'll lie without a second thought to get what I want, I'll manipulate, I drop people very easily, I've cheated both on and with people, apparently I'm grandiose; I ignore people entirely, I can be very vindictive and enjoy it. I also give to charity, give to homeless people, help strangers, volunteer at school... But no, i'm not nice. It's too much effort.

I think I am but it gets me into trouble sometimes. I like to see the best in people and tend to believe everyone has the same values and outlook as I do. Which has led to me making some terrible choices particularly in relationships. I'm pretty thoughtful and love hard.

Don't get me wrong I am quite capable of having a bitch but I genuinely never want to see anyone else struggle, I'd never purposely do anyone wrong and I do feel that overall I'm a good person. I could be better though as in doing more for others etc.

Depends on who you ask.

To my friends and workmates,I'm nice,slightly quirky,sarcastic and moody at times,but they love me for who I am.

To people that don't ''get'' me or dislike me,I'm sarcastic,cold and nasty.

It all depends on whether you've treated me badly or not.

At the end of the day,I'm me and how you see me is a reflection of how I feel you treat me.

I’m a nice person most of the time. But I don’t beat myself up about the times when I’m not nice. I’m quite forthright and if people disagree with me I simply don’t care. I will re-evaluate if people speak to me politely and give good reasons but otherwise I’m fairly stubborn.

I don't think I'm a bad person. But I'm not "nice" all the time, no. I am polite and I can be kind but I don't put a lot of weight into being nice all the time. I can be selfish and lazy and unreasonable. I'm absolutely fine with that as long as I keep most of it wrapped up in my head

I think I'm generally a nice person most of the time. I'll always be there for someone genuinely in need, I'm kind to most people, I give to charity when I can, grab an extra sandwich for a homeless person if I'm able to.

I do have a very low tolerance for unnecessary drama though, so there may be some people that see me as quiet/cold/unsympathetic/not very nice. Those such as work colleagues and random school/sports mums etc. It doesn't bother me. I just can't be arsed to get caught up in discussions, facebook posts, gossip and fakery

I really dislike the word nice...I always equate it with doormat. So, in that context, I am definitely not nice, and have no intention to be. I am, however, kind and supportive, generous and loving.