To send my ds to nursery before he is potty trained?

[elizaishere]

My ds is 3 and not yet ready to be potty trained. We tried a few months ago but he was still having frequent accidents and then tried again a couple of weeks ago and it was much the same.

He is starting nursery soon and I was just wondering if I should try the potty training a bit longer as dp thinks he shouldn't go to nursery in nappies.

I've heard it's harder to potty train boys but he's my only child so can't compare to anything.

Would you send your 3 year old in pull ups or hold off till they were using the potty/ toilet independently?

Dd has just turned 3 and we are trying really hard but he’s just not ready to totally ditch nappies yet. I don’t know about your nursery of course but I know that his are fine with him in nappies and dd’s nursery also had 3 yos in nappies when she was there. A good nursery will support your efforts not criticise them.

Sorry, 1st word should have been ds!

Ask the nursery what they think, do they have staffing to manage changing him?
Personally I’d go all out now to try and get him dry, the occasional accident will be manageable for them to deal with and completely normal.
My kids are teens and it was normal to do this from 2 onwards - it’s not easy and there can be many accidents along the way.

Talk to the nursery.

If they are happy to take him in pull ups then I don’t see a reason not to send him in them. If he isn’t ready, he isn’t ready.

Does your DH not realise that most nurseries take children from three months and they are not potty trained?

When was he 3? Tbh id want him out of nappies but if he's not ready hes not ready.

My son was 2 years 10 months when i trained him but it was fairly easy.

Maybe set aside the long easter weekend and stay in the house and try again. Naked from the waist down and flood him with juice so that he "learns" the feeling of needing to go. Worked a treat with my son and he can go all day out and about and even in the car.

Good luck!

Try and sort it but wouldn't be the first one in nappies at nursery. But PLEASE PLEASE don't send to reception still in nappies! It is a nightmare xx

Many many children start nursery before 1 so in most cases it won't be a problem

School nurseries however can insist that they are trained (ours does, harsh when the boy only turned 3 a month before starting).

Nursery is fine with nappies (but speak to them first). When we were training DD quite a few of them were training at the same time (which is common for nursery’s who take from young age) and they do a buddy system there. It took a while but DD is now totally dry during the day (with reminders as she doesn’t always want to go even when she needs to)
My friends DD toilet trained when she was roughly a year older than my DD but she did it pretty instantly and I think has only ever had 1 accident since being trained

Our nursery had babies from 6 weeks! They were awesome at toilet training and practically did both my DDs for me.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to give it another go and see how he gets on. I don't want him to be the only one in nappies whilst the other children are going to the toilet.

Unless the nursery won’t take him otherwise, yes, absolutely send him. It’s very normal to still use nappies at 3 and nurseries are well equipped to handle it. Some of the school preschools less so. But even when my dd started reception there were 1-2 who weren’t fully potty trained.

Sometimes it's better to try and potty train at home whilst sending your DC to nursery in pull-ups as DC will realise that their friends are using the toilet when they need to rather than relying on a nappy. They often want to be like their friends and will be slightly more conscious of the process. He will get there, try not to put too much pressure on yourself or him.

Yes, send him. But unless 3 year olds have additional needs the whole 'just not ready,' thing is an odd modern phenomenon, promoted heavily by nappy producers. It's not great for nurseries or kids, with staff more stretched to cover the increasing number of children who arrive not trained and need help with toileting - and it's an environmental disaster too.

Have you tried the Oh Crap method, or other ones that basically involve a few days pantsless? .My Ds2 was tricky, but Oh Crap had him sorted within a week.

Lots of boys aren't ready at 3 - it's not a "modern phenomenon" at all

Been in childcare for nearly 40 years

I highly recommend the oh crap potty training book if you can get a copy @elizaishere

I agree completely with Stuckforthefourthtime, late potty training is a modern phenomenon. Twenty or so years ago a three year old still in nappies was really unusual. We used to stay at home for a week & do pretty much nothing else but concentrate on toilet training. My boys were all done by 2 and a half.

My son started nursery/pre school at 3 and he was still in pull ups day and night.
We had started to show him the potty when he was about 2 and a half but he just would not do it. Got extremely distressed about it so we just left him alone about it.
Then one day after being at preschool for a few months he just didnt want his pull ups and has been completely dry day and night ever since.
So I totally adhere to the view that they will just do it when they are ready.

M
His nursery were fine about it, they just had me write down what I was doing with him at home and also give written permission to clean him up if there was an accident.
Hes been completely dry for a while now and is just turning 4 but there are still lots if children in his class in pull ups even at close to 4.

School nurseries however can insist that they are trained (ours does, harsh when the boy only turned 3 a month before starting).

They can word it so that it comes across that way but legally they cannot insist.

It will be fine and staff will be used to having children in nappies. Only 1 of my dc were dry before their 4th birthday and one of them was in nappies for the first 2 terms of reception. He has global development delay though.

I was going to post the same, early years settings can't refuse a child who isn't toilet trained, whether they are school nurseries or not.

with staff more stretched to cover the increasing number of children who arrive not trained and need help with toileting

Staff in a nursery should becapable of coping with children who are at various stages of development in the area of toileting, be it still in nappies, toilet training or out of nappies but still having accidents.

Again, it's not a bloody modern phenomenon - seriously

It's not that the staff aren't capable, it's that in school nurseries there are usually two adults and 26 children.

One of them will be outside most of the time so the one inside will be dealing with any first aid problems and helping with going to the toilet.

If you are in the toilets with a child there is nobody with the other children. Nobody painting or drinking a cup of imaginary tea or admiring a play-doh snake.