To think life is a little bit shit?

[clairemcnam]

I know there are wonderful things about life. But most of it is pretty mundane.

I think life in Britain is getting harder and harder. Working doesn't pay, and we all know times are only going to get harder. Is that what you're getting at op? Most of us need to be near open space to get out and enjoy nature, it's the only remedy.

I always remember dr Phil saying the worst thing you can do is get into a routine.
Obviously with work and housework and meals a routine is great but outside of that we can mix it up.
We went for a long drive today.
We went to a play last week.
Going to an abba night and a country night next weekend.
Doing a 10km race in the middle of the week then going to mrs hinch book signing in 2 weeks.
Life is only mundane if we let it get that way

I often feel I was dealt a pretty shit hand from the start.. 3 months premature, weaned off drugs, but then adopted and given a wonderful upbringing. Over the past few years, life has be bloody awful - absolutely damn hard and depressing - I suffered a head injury and post concussion syndrome, severe anxiety, a mental breakdown, drug induced incurable involuntary movement disorder, my DB passed away from cancer, an ectopic pregnancy, job loss... just crappy thing after crappy thing.

I’m fairly depressed underneath my cheerful exterior and I allow myself a good few minutes every day to wallow, cry, feel utterly miserable and crap, and generally wish I wasn’t here. Then I get up, dust myself down, dry my eyes, and look at my wonderful DC and family, nature, my home, and food to eat, and try to smile and appreciate things - the mundane things included - a bit more.

If I didn’t do this, I honestly don’t think I could carry on.

BirdieInTheHand - a grieving parent will hardly think their life is mundane, will they? That's a living nightmare, not mundanity.

The OP seemed to be referring to 'boring', run of the mill, day-to-day life, not dealing with tragedies and catastrophes.

By “mundane”, do you just mean boring, OP? No offence if that’s not what you meant, but someone complained to me the other day about how bored she was and it really pissed me off. I’ve not been bored for... ever, really, because I’ve filled my life with things to make it meaningful for me. Lately, I’ve been going through a particularly bad patch with a lot of negative things that are beyond my control. I’m absolutely exhausted both physically and emotionally and would love the chance to catch my breath and play with my son and sit outside and stroke my lovely dog (like another poster mentioned). I could do with a lot less excitement and a lot more calm.

You only die once.

You sound very angry BirdieInTheHand

Don’t think this thread is about grieving parents BirdieInTheHand, quite the opposite. It’s about being whether you can be joyful with a mundane existence. Which is quite possible. Essential actually if you want any sort of satisfying life.

The thread was about life being a bit shit.

A poster referred to scenarios where people suffered "awful after horrific after awful after devastating". Nothing "mundane" about those descriptions and someone rather unhelpful commented that they had been in that camp and it was all about how you react to it.

I called bullshit - as did other posters.

@vitalogy I don't think I'm angry. As I said in my first post I can't relate to the feeling of life being shit.

I have had terrible things happen - including the death of my DC which is perhaps why I reacted to a poster claiming how you deal with the truly awful is a state of mind - but on the whole I love life. I have everything I could possibly want and need.

I am perhaps angry that some people suffer so much: that their lives are actually shit. That they have to worry about where their next meal comes from or whether their housing situation is secure.

None of what you say is boring, mundane life though, and I think things got sidetracked a bit from the idea of a humdrum, day to day existence.

Well that's how convos work, even written ones. It moved from commentary about the mundane to commentary about thvawful pretty quickly and it was that which I was responding to 🤷‍♀️

On paper I should think life is shit. I’m 38, I have chronic health problems one of which causes constant severe pain, I’m registered disabled and can’t work (although I don’t want to work anyway, I’m a sahm). I have a disabled child who has severe complex needs. We are a low income family and spent the last 3 years living with no electricity upstairs due to damp issues...

But actually - I love life! I love everything about my life and intend to be here for as long as I can. I love my dc and my dh and enjoy every moment of everyday. Sounds naff but I think my health problems make me appreciate things, I never know how long I’m going to be here for.

Even things like buying myself some nice flowers to look at, or some luxury chocolates and eating them all in one go... visiting a new place. Etc etc. All bring me so much pleasure.

I have suffered really severe depression in my life - pnd when my eldest child was born and also at other points- but now as I approach 40 I feel in a very different place emotionally. I am lucky to feel that way and I know not everyone does but happiness is very much a state of mind, not dependent on what you have or don’t have.

I think all you need to do is look at life through the eyes of someone who is about to have it taken away from them and then you realise how precious it all is, even the mundane stuff. Try and imagine being told you have a few months left and it's all over and you'd be surprised how much more you value the every day stuff. Even bad times can seem less so when you are just grateful to have the gift of being here

Whatever, Birdie.

science Not everyone actually cares about life all that much.

I think that is a sign of depression if you don't care whether you live or die

I think life is a bit shit or a lot shit for most people on the planet. I think if you are fortunate enough to out-run all the conditions that make life shit, grinding poverty, chronic illness, trauma then it can be rather lovely.

I agree that if you don’t care about life then you’re depressed. It’s not normal to not care if you live or die.

At the lowest times in my life that’s how I felt but now I am in a better place mentally the thought of dying absolutely terrifies me as I have so much I want to do and experience.

We're not designed for mundane, comfortable life. We're designed to hunt for food, evade danger, outwit predators and fight for resources every day.

Soooooo no wonder you're bored. :)

Mundane and routine leads to boredom.
Boredom leads to overthinking.
Overthinking can lead to depression.

I always remember dr Phil saying the worst thing you can do is get into a routine.
Obviously with work and housework and meals a routine is great but outside of that we can mix it up.
We went for a long drive today.
We went to a play last week.
Going to an abba night and a country night next weekend.
Doing a 10km race in the middle of the week then going to mrs hinch book signing in 2 weeks.
Life is only mundane if we let it get that way

Love this advice @Bubba1234 I'm going to try and apply this to my own life

going to a Mrs Hinch book-signing well that right there is how shit life can be