To get annoyed at my in laws for letting my 1yr old & 2yr old watch too much tv?

[Grublets13]

Recently moved closer to my husbands family. My boys spend time with them on a fairly reg

During visits, it wouldn't bother me. But if you're planning to use them for childcare 11.5 hours a day, 3 days a week, then I agree it's not ideal.

When you say you are paying them, do you mean a token payment, or the same £50 or £60 a day per child that you would pay a qualified childminder? If the latter, I would consider that instead. If the former, you may just have to live with it.

3 days a week with 2 children is a lot, especially for 11 hour days. How old are you're in laws, are they definitely prepared for the amount of work you have to put in to entertain 2 kids for such a large chunk of the week?
I definitely wouldn't be happy with them watching TV all day, 3 days a week. They need stimulation, education, experiences. I would bring it up with them or even consider alternative childcare if that's an option.

How much are you paying them?

If you don’t like how they look after your kids, use a nursery/childminder.

My parents look after ds(3) for 3 afternoons a week. The tv is on in the background, but my dm does lots of activities with ds (games, jigsaws, crafts etc). I think it’s just background noise and your dc will be fine as long as they are not just plonked in front of the tv with no other stimulation.

1 and 2 year old 3 times a week 7.30 till 7pm bloody hell they deserve a medal.

If you really aren’t keen maybe think about nursery for them.

Unless you are paying them the proper rate you can ask but it is up to them. If you are paying them the proper rate then why not use professional childcare for a couple of days a week and let TV all day at grandparents just happen once a week.

They may as well just have them overnight in this days, as the kids will be just going home to sleep blwell yes but and 1 and 2 they may well not sleep through so I definitely wouldn't be up for having them three days and two nights! Plus the days might not run concurrently

OP if you don't trust them, you pay for proper chidlcare.

My in-laws do this, TV constantly on. To be honest, dc drift in and out. Friends who had tv limited sit like zombies when it's on as it's so rare instead of self moderation.

I think it will be fine. They will still play. It will add something different to their lives but they won’t get addicted.

I think that is a hell of an ask of them-long long days and two very young children!!

Why don’t you ask if they’ll have the kids for 1 day but say that they will go to a nursery for the other two?

there is no way i'd look after two young dgc for all that time tbh, even if i was being paid. i'm selfish in the fact i have my own life and wouldn't want to be restricted so much. then to be told how to care for them as well. some parental input obviously but my home my rules no matter how much i love my dgc.

Are they stuck in front of it for 12 hours or is it just on as background noise? We had the telly on all day, but DD would be playing with toys, running around the house, "helping" me cook/clean, out in the garden, have friends over etc. Several years on and OH is the only one who watches telly during the week. We don't even turn it on . He was away working for 2 weeks and when he came back the telly was on the same channel he watched before he left.

I have never seen what the big deal is with TV time, i have kids TV on in the background most of the day or we have music on. I cannot stand a quiet house, the only thing is restrict is time watching youtube

12 hours?!?!! 😱 that’s a long day for both the kids and gp.

Op fwiw I think I would ask to limit time. I know it’s on in the background but my two will inadvertently watch as they get no tv mon - fri and a movie on Sunday afternoon, so they will always want to watch... do you kids seems fixated on the tv?

On a seperate note, do you and DH both work long hours or do grandparents live a way away? If they're having them 7.30 - 7 then they'll be out of the house from 7 - 7930 as a minimum, possibly longer. Sometimes it can't be helped, bills need paying etc but might be worth seeing if they'd come to you one day and do bed routine

You need to organise professional childcare

Bit of babysitting you keep your mouth shut.

If you're paying more than a nominal amount you either find alternative childcare or limit them to have the tv on for an hour max.

You either want the child care cheap or you want to pay going rate to a stranger.

By the way, naps, food and other things mean it won't be 12 hours of TV, I mean good luck just making a child sit for 12 hours.
Plus I bet the TV gets turned over lots of times, as it repeats.

Maybe find some play groups in the area.
Also shopping, and other things will happen, as no adult will remain trapped on a house for 3 days unless they are ill

Apologies ladies! 😂 I've not been clear. Trying to post this while juggling breakfast. 7.30-7pm is their awake time, minus a lunchtime nap. They have looked after them for this full amount of time before and had the tv on all day which surprised me. I don't know how it doesn't drive them nuts. I'm not working at the moment. In a couple of weeks they'll be watching them for 1-3 days a week. Maximum 6hrs a day. Shift worker. 🙋🏽‍♀️ It's a paid agreement. My MIL thinks TV is more educational than toys. I love the fact they enjoy playing together, books, puzzles, cars etc. I don't know whether or not to speak to get again about it or just accept things as they are. Believe me, I agree with picking battles! 🙈

If you're taking 6 - 18*hours vs 36 I'd leave it. Sounds like they do some free childcare too and you won't be paying nursery rates. Just send toys and books and don't put it on at home

It's a paid agreement

Yes, you’ve said. I think a lot depends on how much you are paying though.

So will they not do anything with them at all apart from watch TV? I assume your DC will soon get bored of that. Do they have toys at MIL’s?

I think you should consider a nursery or childminder if you are paying grand parents the going rate.

My MIL has BIL/SIL two toddlers 2 days a week from 07.30 to 7pm she is shattered and I feel sorry for her because she feels she cannot say no, gets the odd token gift and is expected to tow the line of what SIL wants or risk not seeing her grandchildren.

I think you can ask about TV, but cannot demand if they are doing it for free or a token gift.

Personally I do not think it is a good idea for grandparents to become child carers on a weekly basis.

'They have looked after them for this full amount of time before and had the tv on all day'

How do you know if you are not there.

Massive ask with dc of these ages and two at a time. Blimey I'd rather stick pins in my eyes.

I'd just suck it up or look for a nursery setting

Do they have toys at their house? If not, supply some or look for an alternative.
I have no issue with tv in the background but they need to play at the same time.