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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfairness

30 replies

Bessie7654321 · 29/03/2019 23:31

Is it ok to save up for only selected grandchildren?

OP posts:
FelixTitling · 29/03/2019 23:32

More info needed.

Original poster
Bessie7654321 · 29/03/2019 23:35

Have found out that my in laws have saved up monthly for 18 years for all their granchildren except mine. Livid aibu?

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 29/03/2019 23:36

Are you better off as a family than your siblings in law? Are their kids closer to your PIL?

FelixTitling · 29/03/2019 23:36

How did you find this out? Have you asked them why?

arethereanyleftatall · 29/03/2019 23:36

Why?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 29/03/2019 23:37

Why would they do that?

aliceliddel · 29/03/2019 23:37

what is their reason for leaving yours out?

SosigDog · 29/03/2019 23:38

No it’s not ok.

aliceliddel · 29/03/2019 23:38

and what has the DCs other parent said?

Original poster
Bessie7654321 · 29/03/2019 23:40

Extremely hurt. My kids were told by their cousins. Why? Obviously have favourites. Aibu to be mad?

OP posts:
coffeecoffeecofffee · 29/03/2019 23:41

Even if the OP was better off I still don't think it's okay as the grandparents are still excluding her children. That's not right.

coffeecoffeecofffee · 29/03/2019 23:41

@Bessie7654321 definitely NU to be mad! Do you have an otherwise good relationship with them/see them regularly etc?

arethereanyleftatall · 29/03/2019 23:42

Why do they have favourites?you can't expect people to just agree with you without any context.

Original poster
Bessie7654321 · 29/03/2019 23:42

DH thinks I'm in the wrong for being mad and upset. How does it make my kids feel?

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 29/03/2019 23:43

That's not right

Not to me, no, but the grandparents can decide. Or they might think they paid for xx for the children's dad and didn't pay the same for the cousin's parent and want to balance. Or they just see the cousins more.

Don't sound like great grandparents but being livid sounds a bit grabby.

Original poster
Bessie7654321 · 29/03/2019 23:43

Yes fine

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 29/03/2019 23:44

This is second hand information. Are you absolutely SURE this is even true? Have you asked your in-laws?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 29/03/2019 23:45

Is it ok to save up for only selected grandchildren?

Yes. Anyone can choose to make a gift or not.

Would I do it? No.

It doesn't add up though and you're not giving much info. How would the cousins know that the grandparent don't also have accounts for your kids?

Original poster
Bessie7654321 · 29/03/2019 23:45

Above reply was to coffee coffee coffee!

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 29/03/2019 23:45

Lol I flipped the thread and answered your OP again. So tired!

arethereanyleftatall · 29/03/2019 23:47

Why aren't you giving any reasons why they would do this?

CSIblonde · 29/03/2019 23:49

If they see money as a power & control tool (sadly so often, it is just that with money & family) you're best off out of it OP.

julensaor · 29/03/2019 23:52

Give more detail, nobody can give any advice otherwise.

lunar1 · 30/03/2019 07:11

Have you actually spoken with them about it?

Dimsumlosesum · 30/03/2019 07:13

My MIL absolutely favours her golden son's children over ours. Though she doesn't save for them, they get the presents, the outings etc, whereas mine are afterthoughts. I feel so sorry for them, because one day they'll be old enough to see that the other's get favourited. No, you are not wrong to be upset, imo. Can't believe your DH doesn't care.