To not have a set bedtime routine for DC?

[mcjx]

Could this ever work in the long run? Have any of you ever tried it or did it happen naturally?

I'm not talking about a teen DC here. More like a child between the ages of 2-5.

Just really curious as to what everyone thinks is "normal" for a child around that age.

I've relaxed it over the years, but yes, at that age my DC had definite bedtimes, and a bedtime routine. Bath every 2nd night, milk, snack if required, into jammies, story In the night garden on cbeebies cuddles, and lights out. They know what came next and they were always well slept.
Fast forward to young teens, my eldest regulates herself well, and takes herself off to bed by 9.30pm most nights. My youngest is told to go to bed for 10pm - he doesn't need as much sleep, but I suspect this will change as time goes on. They still have a routine, and I start it about half hour before their respective bedtimes. By start it I mean tell them to switch off screens, remind them to brush teeth/have a wash/look out clothes for tomorrow etc. We have a cuddle before bed, and they can read for a bit before lights out. Works well.
I think younger DC definitely benefit from a routine, but as pp says, not my circus or monkeys.

We dont , kids go to sleep when they are tired, my 3 years old will ask to go to bed or pass out on the sofa then carried upstairs. Very good for them to learn to listen to their body, of course children know when they re tired, as mich as they know when they re hungry. If they have a set waking up time then sleep time will adjust accordingly. Provided they are not in front of a screen all evening which messes things up. All of my children read in the evening or play quietly then will switch off the light when sleepy. Bedtime routine consists in making sure they wash teeth after dinner, and changed, read to them a little bit they they manage by themselves. Little one will ask me to stay with him before falling asleep. A couple of minute all in all.

Yes always have had both a set time for bed (which has changed with age and naps etc) AND a bedtime routine. DS1 is 7 and he has a bath with his sibling at 6:30/40. DS2 who is a toddler is asleep by 7. DS2 sleeps between 7:30-8. He reads to himself and falls asleep. Lights out at 7:30 though.
They are both woken up at 6:50 as they need to go to preschool/Year 2.

I adore my four year old but if I didn't have a set 'clocking off' time I would be demented Between 7/7:30 she is in bed and she definitely needs the sleep. I can't understand these people who have small kids going to bed at 11pm, mine would be a overtired nightmare by that point

Always had a routine of a 7pm ish (later if we are out, have an occasion, or busy, we’re not tied to it) and if he missed a nap in the day 6pm. He has always slept 12 hrs. I think it’s key. We relax it on holiday etc and for occasions as I said before but because its such routine he just falls back in to it.
I would always go with it, but thats because it works for us!

My children are vile if they aren't in bed 7pm latest. Plus it saves my sanity to have a few hours free in the evening.

I’m a person who needs routine so my DCs have always had bedtime and routine. It works for us. I have being in friends houses in the evenings where they don’t have bedtimes or a routine and I found it really stressful. Overtired kids and parents on their last nerve losing their tempers and kids playing on it then getting upset that they really do have to go to bed. No fun for anyone involved.

At present the 2yr old usually has a 2/3 hr nap so I dont feel deprived of me time. We dont have lights on and run around all eve. After 6/7pm we usually relax and wind down and the kids naturally do that too. They dont run riot.

We do bath, book bed at 7pm our DS is 18 months.
It helps to have a routine as it helps him settle, otherwise he would just play all night. Like tonight at my Dad's he was up until 9pm and didn't show any signs of tiredness, he will only sleep in his cot so won't just crash downstairs when tired.
The hours from 7.30- my bedtime is my time or housework time.
I don't finish work until 6pm but I'm lucky he has his dinner at grans so when we get home, it is bath/shower, stories and milk and bed by 7pm.
Just what works best for us, but may not work for others.

DGD didn't have a set routine as a baby and young toddler. However, when DD and her partner split up and she was a single working parent, she had to impose a bedtime and within a remarkably short time realised what a good thing it was. She had time to be herself, catch up on any chores that needed done and got to bed at a decent time herself.

I would have killed the DC if they hadn't had a bedtime!

We have always had a flexible bedtime routine, but later than average. The DCs don't need to be up before 8am and naturally wake up in good time. They've always veered towards being night owls like many of their relatives and needing the lower end of average sleep hours for their age. They are bright and attentive at school, and occasionally if there is a reason for tiredness e.g. having a cold, there is a clear difference.

Just because they don't go to bed at 7pm (which was not possible when I worked as they weren't even in the house before 6:05pm) DM interprets that as having no bedtime routine. 7pm was a joke when I was a child anyway as I'd just be stuck in my room reading for hours by streetlamp or crack of light by the door. I see no benefit in battling bright, alert children for hours just because lots of people think 7pm is some holy grail.

Routines are important but they do not have to be at 7pm and they don't have to be a complex, lengthy chain of actions. There is a big range before getting to the crashing out at 11pm on the sofa in front of the TV end of the spectrum which isn't a great idea for a child needing an average amount of sleep before nursery/ school.

The ad at the bottom of this thread! 😂

We put dd into a routine at 9 weeks of age. Woe betide us if we tried to alter it. It took ten years before a bit of flexibility could be managed. It just suited her. It suited us, too, as we are early to bed, early to rise types.

I'm a firm beleiver in A routine and not necessarily a SET routine.
We have dinner, 30 mins ish play, bath and bed. That's a routine. It's not set to a time to precision as DH can be home anywhere between 6 and 7 and setting an actual time would mean he'd barely see DD.
We have followed this since birth. She doesn't always sleep right away but it gives us a structure every evening.
It's a loose enough routine that we don't have to worry about being home on time if we've travelled far that day or if my neice is over and we can let DD play for longer with her.

I find my monkeys are much better with a bed time or else the Circus would be a total shit show.

^This. For sure.

Ours isn't set in stone in terms of times, but it's roughly the same every day, dinner, bath, bed. It works because it's how we've always done things. And logically it makes sense.

I have toddler twins so a bit younger than specified but I’d have gone mental by now without some form of routine by now!

We were all confined in a tiny one bedroom flat for the first year of their lives and so it was nearly impossible to instil a routine, DH worked different shift patterns each week back then so we had to adjust from week to week, then we had to share one bedroom and DD was a VERY light sleeper so any noise would wake her and angry crying would ensue, inevitably waking DS... or our neighbour who had a severe drinking problem would come out of his flat at odd hours in the early EARLY morning and start shouting at nothing, kicking bins and generally being an unsociable words I won’t type but enter expletives here waking us all up, I came close to breaking point many times throughout that period O__O

So once we managed to move to a bigger place we swore we must have them in bed by 9pm AT THE LATEST most nights. First we created a small but simple routine (floor play in their room, story time with Daddy, bottles and then bad singing from Mummy in the form of “you are my sunshine”) at and over the period of several months managed to get them from a bedtime of midnight-2am (yes it got that bad!) to waking whenever DH got up for work, to now settling them by 10pm at the latest - and sleeping 11-12 hours most nights (not including when poorly or the evil period of teething they are now going through).

Not quite at 9pm yet - but we have grown steadily saner since :’)

My daughter didn't have a routine till she was about 5. She just went to bed when she was tired before then.

Eventually it started getting pretty consistent, and we set a time (20:30) to start the routine, which consists of a chapter read by my partner, teeth/toilet/undress, a chapter read by me, then staying to talk for a bit, and I leave her about 21:15.

She is home educated but goes to a forest school once a week, and she is able to wake up at 08:15 for that.

We have a set routine and my kids (7,9) are in bed at the same time each night (8:30 ish, later on weekends). DS is up at 7- 7:15 each day and my DD at 7:30 but she takes longer to get to sleep. If they go to bed later , they sleep longer. It’s always been flexible. We leave for school at 8:30 so it works

I have never really had one much to my DM's disapproval. But DD seems fine, and it's easy so works for us.