To not have a set bedtime routine for DC?

[mcjx]

Could this ever work in the long run? Have any of you ever tried it or did it happen naturally?

I'm not talking about a teen DC here. More like a child between the ages of 2-5.

Just really curious as to what everyone thinks is "normal" for a child around that age.

Small children need around 12 hours sleep. Our 5 year old goes to bed at 630-7...we are up at 615 in the morning as school starts at 730...

In answer to how do you get them to bed when they aren’t tired... If children get up at the same time each day then they are predictably tired at the same time. So it’s not hard. On holiday etc we do let it drift. There is some variation in how much sleep children need so not imposing the exact amount. But I have seen A LOT of sleep deprived children at school. Personally I don’t think it’s right that children who need to be up for school, wait up for working parents who aren’t back until late. It may be unavoidable practically but it’s clearly not ideal.

Mine have a bedtime. Dc2 goes to bed at 6:30 and dc4 between 7:30-8. For my own sanity I need them to go t bed at that time.

Wonder why op thinks having a set routine and bedtime means trying to make a child who isn’t tired go to sleep??🤔 it isn’t about that at all! I made sure mine were tired by the evening and the routine helped them to wind down. Their body clocks tend to work to the set times and routines.

Sorry I didn’t mean the OP thought that I meant PP!

I'm bemused at those who think that children will naturally fall asleep when they are tired, and can recognise when they are ready for sleep themselves.
The number of children who struggle in school to maintain focus, or even stay awake all day who have no set bedtime, or a late bedtime, is high.
Would you let your child decide what to eat and when? What to watch on TV? Children are not able to make such decisions for a long time!

Sorry, but how is it not a judgemental thing if you're thinking it's bad for your friend's toddler? Surely it's fine if it works for them. When she starts nursery or school they will probably change things.

Most people find that a bedtime routine helps to make bedtime easier as children know what will happen and (in theory) it's familiar and comforting whihh aids sleep. But personally I could not be arsed with a long drawn out routine. We have very simple things (nappy change, red light, sleeping bag, breastfeed) and that seems to work fine.

I always wanted to be one of those parents who didn't have a routine and whose kids were so miraculously in touch with their own bodies that they went to bed when they wanted but it turns out it is actually nice to get a few hours break from spending time with them and also my children are normal children who would much prefer to stay awake all night playing out looking at screens if they get the chance. Apart from the baby but he doesn't count yet.

My neighbour has no set bedtime. Her kids are obviously sleepy after their bath but she takes them back into front room & they get a 2nd wind & fall asleep there around 10 ish. Now they're school age it's meant they oversleep/are late most days & their teacher has asked why they're so sleepy & grumpy each morning. Neighbours answer to everything is "rules & routine are for adults". I did point out she's already put them at a disadvantage with kids who are rested & used to routine & she admitted she 'can't be arsed'. Hey ho.

Your neighbour is a selfish twat @CSIblonde

It is completely up to you, but my dc do better with a routine.

If your dc will be going to nursery or school you will need a way to cue them to sleep as they will have to get up at a set time.

Personally it makes me physically uncomfortable to think of small children falling asleep in front of blaring TVs in their day clothes at 10pm. As in it makes me itch/squirm, it’s a weird reaction.

My children are snuggled down in bed, in comfy PJs after a warm bath and some stories, at a time early enough to allow them enough sleep before school. I honestly think letting them sleep where and when they drop is fairly crap parenting.

We co-slept with our 3 dds for years. No routine. If they were tired they slept on the settee, in the car, buggy etc. or said when they wanted to go to bed. No problem getting up and a bonus was they never woke at some silly hour!

A toddler is not at school though? All mine naturally adapted to earlier bedtimes by school age anyway and decided to go up. A toddler doesn't need to worry about school. She never gets crazy over tired as she is laid back about going to sleep lol

We still change them into pjs and not everyone has blaring TV LOL

Mine always had a set bedtime routine from very young. However bad the day, come 7.30pm I knew they'd be put down to sleep and I had 12 hours 'break'. I would have cracked without that.

I love the first reply to the OP. Sums it up perfectly.

I'm bemused at those who think that children will naturally fall asleep when they are tired, and can recognise when they are ready for sleep themselves.

The probably have a child like my DC2, who does exactly this and always has done. If tired, pootles off to bed. DC1 on the other hand....

Yup I’m militant about bedtime, I’m pretty relaxed about parenting besides bedtime, but I lose my mind if I don’t get childfree time in the evening and I’ve been this way since the very start.

I think it makes for a peaceful household. We’ve never had bedtime battles and there’s no stress around sleep. I appreciate all children/parents are different though so you could have the most solid routine in the world but it might still be a struggle for whatever reason.

All kids are different and I think it's important to work with what you have.
All 3 of ours were different sleepers two had a good routine or at least acceptable and the last one has never slept through the night and is 15 now.

Our DD's are 10 and 11 and both had a strict bath-story-bed routine until about a year ago. Now they're a bit older, the rule is that they need to be showered and in PJs by 9pm, then we all watch something or play a card game as a family for half an hour, then 30 mins reading in bed before lights out at 10.They are up for school at 7am.

However, it's not enough sleep for our 10 year old, who always gets into bed and sleeps for an hour when she gets home from school (her own choice)!

I’m wondering if a lot of sleep patterns aren’t developed in the womb. I worked all the way through and two weeks after in a job that required early mornings a lull in the afternoon and back in the house at 6pm.

Exactly the sleep pattern that seemed to suit DS. I always had a strict bedtime because as a single parent I needed down time after work ( DS was with me). We also shared a bedroom and I snore like a trooper so he needed to be asleep before me.

My sil doesnt have a set bedtime routine for ger dc and they are both happy, well rounded children. My dc thrive on routine and so do I. Im just not as laid back as sil. Dd7 goes to bed at 7.30 and reads for half an hour. Dd2 goes to bed after her bath at 6.30. It is wine o'clock for me at 7.30.

I think of sleep as important as eating well and keeping clean, a fundamental important role of being a parent! Most LOs don’t know when they are tired and need to learn how to go to sleep, rather than passing out

My mums friend is a primary school teacher and she says she can spot the children who don’t get enough sleep a mile off.

Never had one here, i just say 'right, bedtime' when it suits and never brooked any argument on the matter. If bribery is needed, i will promise a stiry but only if pyjamas, teeth and toilet are done in a timely fashion. DD is 7 now and a good kid.