AIBU to expect a friend of 10+ years to have some respect?

[Smilingwhenrunning]

I know that there will be dividing views on this and part of this is to get it off my chest but I wanted some perspective or other views because maybe I am being unreasonable but...

I had a fund raiser a few weeks ago for a charity that is supporting my family and do valuable work for many.

Today I shared a post the charity had written about my fund raiser on FB. Now I have received a pm from a friend who I thought was a close and supportive, having a go at me about supporting the charity because they support research that tests on animals. She has sent loads of propaganda about animal cruelty as well.

I am so hurt and so upset about this because, although I understand we all have different views and beliefs, I did not expect to be sent a lot of properganda and hurtful comments about it.

AIBU to expect her to keep it to herself?

I can see both sides to this.
I think the best thing you can do is say you will agree to disagree on the issue.
I don't agree with animal testing myself.

I do not use any animal products or anything tested on animals.....Cancer research test on animals. If a family member of mine had cancer and their research would save my child, husband, mother, friend... I'd do the testing myself.

It would be a bit late by then. Research takes years. The scientists trying to find cures for things like cancer and alzheimer's are trying to save your family now (and many others). Animal testing is sadly necessary in some cases.

OP- your friend has been a dick about this. We are all dicks about something and she has been a friend for 10 years. When the dust settles, I would be inclined to let it go- assuming she does not dig in about it.

I think you should tell her that you respect her views but hope she will understand that you find them hurtful to read in the circumstances. I wouldn't let it get in the way of a long friendship unless she persists in being insensitive. Give her a chance for now.

This is what I would do. Maybe she thought that, as a close friend, you already knew her views about this?

Ppl are totally irrational about animal testing. As PPs have said, all medicines have to be tested on animals. Ditto pesticide active ingredients. No scientist likes animal testing but they all tell me that the non-animal alternatives are not yet ready. And the alternative is to release untested medicines and pesticides into the general environment, putting all animals and people at risk. BTW, I speak as a long-term vegetarian who loves animals.

She is nasty and insensitive, and saying her feelings are more important that your sick relative.
And I’m sorry, anyone who says they are against animal testing and preaches against it , and still uses medicine tested on animals is the worst kind of hypocrite,
I’d never support her vegan campaigning again that’s for sure

She isnt your friend.

Ditch and move on.

Yes insensitive. I hate animal testing with a passion. Personally I would be testing medicines, drugs and such like on the paedophiles, murderers and rapists that are currently housed in prisons rather than animals.

Yes insensitive. I hate animal testing with a passion. Personally I would be testing medicines, drugs and such like on the paedophiles, murderers and rapists that are currently housed in prisons rather than animals.

Totally agree with this

I can see both sides.

I don’t think you have to agree all the time to be friends. I would write back and say sorry you don’t agree with her views for x,y,z reasons. Acknowledge you both feel strongly and emotively about the issue but agree to disagree. Ask her not to raise the issue anymore as it’ll affect your friendship if she can’t respect you have different views - but you don’t raise it any more either. Then talk about other things.

Thank you everyone and I mean everyone. I wanted difference views so I could test my feelings.

Your feelings whatever they are are completely valid. It’s ok to be upset with her and feel annoyed. But then I think you should check yourself before interacting with her because you have to acknowledge that hers are also valid - just different from your own.
I hope you can both agree to disagree and keep your friendship.
I also hope your relative is ok. It sounds like you are having a very stressful time right now with that.