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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Travelling with friends but only I got upgraded on the flight

150 replies

pennyguggenheim · 29/03/2019 12:12

I was travelling with four other friends. On checking in, I was offered a free flight upgrade. I asked whether my friends would too, but no just me as I have status with the airline. I accepted it, leaving my four friends in the back of the plane (12hr flight).

Was I unreasonable?

My one friend said it was bit selfish, but the others said balls to it, you got it for free, enjoy yourself.

OP posts:
User12879923378 · 29/03/2019 12:28

But obviously we were never going to sit together in the first place as he had booked in online so possibly not quite the same

Rezie · 29/03/2019 12:29

It's one of those things that is understandable on why to do it and it's not unreasonable. But as the friend of be annoyed cause what would be just feeling I would get. Especially of the seats were together. If you were seated separate then I wouldn't be annoyed.

My brother just went on a holiday in Australia and he got an upgrade but his wife didnt. He looked as his wife and she said "do what you feel is best" so he stayed in the economy plus they had booked. She fell asleep within 15 minutes and woke up when they landed in Qatar. And he laughing how he decided against the upgrade and now was stuck alone anyways 😁

PodgeBod · 29/03/2019 12:30

I don't think you're selfish but I would have declined out of not wanting to sit by myself for 12 hours.
If you had been travelling with one friend and had left them alone, I think that would be different.

mumwon · 29/03/2019 12:35

anybody done 12 hours travel? I would have taken even if I were with my dh - he can sleep on a clothes line - I cant! (yes I have done l-o-n-g distance flight - & came out looking like a zombie - family were well rested - grinds teeth - as kindly mum (ie me) had taken middle seat never again!)

Igotthemheavyboobs · 29/03/2019 12:37

I don't think ywbu but I would have declined. I would have been bored on my own and afraid I would miss jokes from the plane that would carry on all holiday. I do get toal FOMO though

BigSandyBalls2015 · 29/03/2019 12:37

My DH and two teens got upgraded and left me in economy Grin

DontCallMeCharlotte · 29/03/2019 12:38

Six of us flew back from Hong Kong a couple of years back. Checked in early enough. None of us were seated together. So if one had been upgraded (a) I might not have noticed and (b) good for them!

Hope you enjoyed it OP and safe travels.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 29/03/2019 12:38

anybody done 12 hours travel? yes! Multiple times I would still have declined and like you, I can't sleep on planes at all! However I wouldn't judge a friend in this situation unless it left me on my own. I would be very pissed if that happened

spanishwife · 29/03/2019 12:39

She fell asleep within 15 minutes and woke up when they landed in Qatar. And he laughing how he decided against the upgrade and now was stuck alone anyways

Exactly this! A 12 hour flight is not for chatting so it wouldn't make a difference who's sitting next to you, it's for letting people sleep and watching films or reading. Bit different when it's a 2hr flight to Palma.

Mitzimaybe · 29/03/2019 12:39

If it was one other friend and you left her on her own then that would be mean. But as there were still four of them together, I think it's fine. I'd expect them to bitch about you a bit while you were gone, though!

spanishwife · 29/03/2019 12:39

I'd be so excited for my friend if this happened and would make them take it! I'm learning that people on MN have horrible jealous friends

nettie434 · 29/03/2019 12:40

YANBU - your friends weren’t alone and it was a 12 hour flight.

thedisorganisedmum · 29/03/2019 12:40

I would have taken it and swap with them regularly so everybody can enjoy a bit of leg space at some point.

Polarbearflavour · 29/03/2019 12:41

I couldn’t do 12 hours in economy on longhaul!

Polarbearflavour · 29/03/2019 12:42

thedisorganisedmum - you can’t just swap a seat in business class around between different people. The cabin crew won’t allow it.

irregularegular · 29/03/2019 12:42

I don't think you were unreasonable at all. I wouldn't leave one friend alone, but four is fine.

Personally I'd have taken it for a night flight but probably not for a day flight. For a day flight I'd rather be sociable and friendly. For a night flight it is just about sleep.

Might be an issue if you had manipulated the choice of airline in some way to bring this about, bit otherwise YANBU

19lottie82 · 29/03/2019 12:43

God yes! YANBU! I got an upgrade to first class once and left my husband in business class (so he wasn’t that hard done by!). And in fairness he had just put up with me yapping at him 16 hours a day for 3 weeks so I think we was glad of the peace and quiet!

stevie69 · 29/03/2019 12:43

I wouldn't have but ..... hey, it's not a problem.

I fly business class on long haul anyway but when I went on holiday with my friends, I sat with them. We came back on different flights so I did business class on the way back.

Hope you enjoyed it Smile

7salmonswimming · 29/03/2019 12:45

For 12 hours, yes I'd have taken it. But I'd be doing something on the trip so that everyone feels something unexpectedly good has happened to them - maybe buy a round of drinks, pay for breakfast one morning. These are friends, after all, not colleagues (who I wouldn't extend the same consideration to!)

SpannerH · 29/03/2019 12:46

outbound - no I would want to spend it with who I was travelling with. Inbound - hell yes, without hesitation, I've had enough of people-ing by then Grin seriously though I am not the person to be around on the way home. take it and run I say!

Chocrock · 29/03/2019 12:49

Not selfish at all, its not as if you left anyone alone. Hope you enjoyed the flight!

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/03/2019 12:49

I wouldn’t have upgraded - half the fun of holidaying with friends is the “party plane / train” part where you hang out and drink together. I’d therefore be a bit Hmm if one of my friends did choose to, I admit. It’s a bit partypooper-ish. It wouldn’t ruin the trip or the friendship though, I’d just consider them to have missed out.

Aridane · 29/03/2019 12:51

!A 12 hour flight is not for chatting so it wouldn't make a difference who's sitting next to you, it's for letting people sleep and watching films or reading

Depends on the person and flight!

OllyBJolly · 29/03/2019 12:52

There were 9 of us (family) all travelling transatlantic for a big family holiday. My friend - a BA pilot - had organised for DH and I to be upgraded to First. We declined because we couldn't leave BIL and SIL with the overexcited DCs (not ours) and GPs.

Geez - every time I think about it I regret that decision.....

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/03/2019 12:52

If you were my friend I would be very, very jealous and would probably tell you so, as I ushered you towards the nice end of the plane.

Had you been traveling wth only 1 other person I hope you'd have made the same a different decision Grin