Do your toddlers eat what you eat?

[ghostpop]

I'm in a bit of a rut with my two, heavy rotation of meatballs, spaghetti bolegenese, cheesy pasta, sausages and fishfingers. Oh and homemade pizza.

I know people always say "just give them what you have!" but AIBU to think it's not that simple? This week me and dh have had halloumi salad, a spicy curry, tuna steak, a morrocan chicken stew thing (which I did offer leftovers of to the kids but they didn't touch it).

We eat together at the weekend so they get introduced to stuff then but in the week I just offer what I know they will probably eat tbh.

What are your meals that you can share with your toddlers?

Question for all the 'my toddler eats what I eat' people: have they always just done this?

Yes from weaning mine were given our food and 9/10 times they just ate it. I think it’s just pure luck with this kind of thing

MrBob yep dd is 15 months and since weaning at 6 months she’s been really good. Eats everything with gusto. My middle child was the nightmare one they couldn’t be more different.

I did give her broccoli to start with as I read about starting with bitter taste and him yoghurt - I secretly blame the yoghurt but it probably is just his personality.

MrBobLoblaw I think it's probably a control /comfort thing? There are very few children who will actively starve themselves rather than eat, sometimes it's to do with textures or whatever maybe?

My DS 2.4 is and has refused, spat out, been generally disgusted by bananas for about 12 months. Just now he's eaten two, back to back. The only conclusion I've come up with is that toddlers are knobheads

My 3 year old ate everything I gave him up to the age of 2. Now we’re on a rotation of bolognese, cottage pie, pasta with a tomato sauce, bangers and mash and fish fingers and mash. The only veg he eats is broccoli and even then it has to come with ketchup and he has to be in the right mood. We regularly try giving him what we’re having at the weekends but often it means we end up eating stuff we know he’ll eat because life’s too short to ruin a family meal time with a grumpy kid. He’s had an egg allergy since he had scrambled egg at 8 months. We’re supposed to be trying him with egg in different forms to see if he’s still allergic but he won’t bloody eat anything new! Ugh!

We did BLW with my DS. At first he was fab, he ate most things or at least tried anything I gave him, so we did used to just make one main meal and he’d have that. I used to make loads of things for him from BLW apps and cookbooks and he’d gobble it all up. As soon as he turned 18 months he all of a sudden stopped eating lots of things. I’d take stuff out from my freezer stash of his things that he used to love and it would end up going in the bin. Same with evening meals he just started to refuse. It’s so frustrating, but you can’t force them. I still try offer what we are having a few times a week just to encourage him.

My two always had what we had from the beginning with a few minor modifications (less salt etc). Then when ds was 10 his taste changed and he ate next to nothing. He is still the same and he's now 21. The younger ds always ate and tried everything and still does now at 17.

Mine eats what I eat. I cook mild food with no salt so we can all share. I might add a spicy side dish for adults or add spice after taking a portion out for DC. If DH was late I’d have cooked the veg and left his steak for him to pan fry later when he got home. I don’t offer alternatives for non-eating DC - dinner is served and that’s all there is.

Yes, with rare exception (mine are 1 and 6). I add spices as usual to things but leave the spicy ones out to the end or altogether or we top with fresh chillies ourselves if we want. Cumin, coriander, smoked paprika, etc aren’t spicy but ground chillies are. I just don’t use them.

If we are having something salty like haloumi I also make some roasted chickpeas. They’ll eat the chickpeas but not the haloumi (we have both).

We also eat together as a family. I work late 3 days a week and don’t get home until after dinner but dh still has a family meal with them. I eat on the train or after they’ve gone to bed. My ridiculous work hours shouldn’t be dictating meal times for everyone.

On the weekends we tend to have a grown up dinner alone after we’ve put them to bed, so they do eat something different then, but we still sit down at the table with them and the food isn’t necessarily fish fingers or pizza (though sometimes it is).

I think it’s just what they’re used to.I’ve found with perseverance if you offer it, they will eat it, but it takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. My dd’s favourite meals are actually really odd things that wouldn’t be considered kid’s food (lentil stew and roasted duck are her favourite things in the world and she’d eat them every night if I’d let her - as a result we have a lot of things with lentils in our house!).

Question for all the 'my toddler eats what I eat' people: have they always just done this?

When I started my youngest with purees I would add herbs and spices to them (even to the shop bought ones, just added a pince and mixed it in) to get him used to stronger flavours and I think that helped. He loves smoked paprika so much that I'd add it to anything new to encourage him to try it!

We consider ourselves lucky that DD (3) eats whatever we eat. The only exception to this is fajitas - she refuses to even try them for some reason, even tho she likes all the ingredients separately

DP and I aren’t huge fans of spice tho; a jalfrezi is the spiciest we can manage! Accidentally made a Madras once.. we gave up after a few mouthfuls but DD powered through and pretty much cleared her plate

I am under no illusion that this is anything other than luck. I’m just waiting for the day that she decides she doesn’t like this, that and the other!

Often on here, people have miracle dc who eat everything.

In real life, I find all my friends moan that there are load of meals their dc won't eat.

We eat together when work schedules allow (4x/wk ish) and on other days i make dishes I KNOW neither ds will eat. That includes anything spicy, risotto and anything with aubergine/mushrooms/spinach. Often meals are rejected, or parts of them, but i just accept it now. Sometimes we all eat the same but at different times, eg if dh gets im late.

dc are 3 and 7.

Me, me, me! I had miracle ds’s who ate everything- salad, fish, meat, veg, spicy, you name it.

They still do now actually, but are just fussy in the ‘mmmm I don’t fancy that tonight’ way. Luckily I can now say ‘cook your own then!’. But people always used to say things like ‘aren’t they good eaters’, ‘they will try anythjng’, ‘you are so lucky’. But to be honest as a mum of two who both eat like it I was always really? Because I knew no different. They were never fussy so I never had a problem feeding them, they just ate whatever they were given. I think mums like me don’t appreciate how difficult it is for others. I’ve had a few child to tea over the years, where’s I’ve offered them everything I have and they still ‘only like chips’, and that’s frustrating with just a one off.

Oh I just remembered one thing, ds19, wouldn’t eat- mushrooms, except at my mums where she put them in spag Bol, shepherds pie etc and called them beef mushrooms and he ate them. Took me 6 months to figure out they were button mushrooms. So as soon as I changed to them he ate them. Now though he still isn’t a great lover but will eat them in a sauce etc.

My almost 2 yr ds wont eat sausages, nuggets, fish fingers, beans or eggs. He will eat lasagne, bolognese, ratatouille, stew, wedges, pizza, chips. He loves fruit and yoghurt and most bread things. He was a really good eater until he was about 15 months. I try and give him bits of what we eat, especially if he shows an interest, but he has become really fussy. He wont even eat pasta and sauce or mac cheese.

My son recently turned 2. He went through a very fussy stage and lives off beans on toast, chips, pasta with tomato sauce and cheese sandwiches for meals. He getting slightly better.

We all eat together. I offer him a meal. If he tries it/eats it, great, if not, I don't stress. He has fruit and yoghurt after his evening meal so I'm not worried about him going hungry. I often do try and add something on the plate he might like (chips with curry instead of rice as he's never liked rice!)
It's quite rare we eat something different.

I always just made one meal for us all. They either ate it or they didn't. The vast majority of the time they did eat it or at least most of it. There are obviously a few things that they don't like eg the oldest still hates plain mushrooms but is happy to eat in a stew or pasta dish. The younger one has a couple of things he won't eat including peanut butter if it is just on toast or crackers but happy to eat it used in cooking.
I just never bought fish fingers, dippers or other beige food. I think it is always more difficult if you start buying these things to just have in. Of course kids are going to prefer them, they are easy to eat and designed to be moreish. If they know that there is beige in the freezer then they are going to want it. If it is not part of normal family meal times they won't know any different.
I also don't understand the very British way of thinking that anyone under about 12 can't eat spice.
So many posts on here saying if we are having eg tuna we will swap that for sausage or fish fingers or dippers for the kids. Poor kids, the parents get good quality protein and the kids make do with processed food full of additives and nitrates etc.

Mine all eat what we eat because I only cook one meal I eat with the kids and dh has it whenever he gets in.

Some of the stuff they like more than others

I have an extremely fussy toddler who is slowly improving and we work on the principle of offering what we eat and eating together.

We followed BLW and she took to it well, initially eating everything that was put in front of her, but various illnesses between 9months-14months meant she kept going back to only milk and then food became harder and harder. We then developed every bad habit there is to try get her to eat and that included a rotation of same few meals in front of the tv each day. She then started to refuse them one at a time and that's when we decided things had to change now.

We adopted the division of responsibility (DOR) approach recommended by dieticians. We are responsible for what she is offered and she is responsible for what she eats from that. She is offered the same meal as me everyday but there is always a 'safe' option in her plate - something she has previously eaten and liked. New meals are sometimes offered to her deconstructed eg grilled halloumi salad would be offered with each vegetable separate rather than all mixed together so she can pick at what appeals to her and bread would be offered alongside (as safe option). We sit down together at the table and just have a general chat about our day when we eat - I do not try to persuade her to eat a thing and I never comment on what she is/isnt eating.

She eats a reasonable amount of spice so fortunately that isn't an issue - if we want more still then we add it on top. We have a boring back up that is offered if she doesn't touch anything (same item every time) and if that is rejected, then she doesn't get any more options. It has worked wonders for us but I know she is just fussy, no sensory issues with food, textures etc.

As toddlers mine would have eaten all the dishes you mention in your OP. Why didn't you think they would like them?
At 7 and 5 though, they eat nothing except hot dogs so it doesn't really matter what they eat as toddlers imo!

We usually give DD (30 months ish) a bit of what we have plus a little bowl of something we know she'll eat like pasta pesto or something involving potato
That way she eats something (cheap and easy to make) but also has the opportunity to try new things. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't but she never will if not exposed to new foods.
I'm looking forward to picnic season as I think they are more likely to try new things in that kind of situation. DD eats all sorts of things when with other kids

I never cook separate meals for my DD (1), but sometimes have to modify things a bit. For instance, we will have a curry with naan and she will not eat bread but will eat quinoa (I know, I know, but she won't eat rice). I also find if I make big amounts and serve the same thing two days in a row we have more success. For instance, I made a chickpea and aubergine curry on Wednesday. On Wednesday she ate a few bits of aubergine and a couple of spoonfuls of quinoa and that was it (aside from mango chutney). Last night, same offering and she ate the lot. I do gear the meals to what she likes, though. She will eat any form of vegetable curry, and fish pie. She will not eat veg if they have not been curried or put into a béchamel sauce. She's gone off bread, no idea why, so lunch is becoming more difficult - today I made a lentil and cheese bake and sliced into wedges and she had that with soup instead of bread. Toddlers are tricky to feed!

Not a toddler any more but yeah, she did most of the time. However, I'm still quite a picky eater as an adult, me and DP both work full time and so the food we eat, while healthy, is usually quite simplistic.
If there was anything in there which DD really despises, she just picks them out.

Yes we eat the same. Chilli gets added at the end.
We are also not precious about leftovers or rejected food... I am a lot more put off by food waste and its impact on the climate than by reheating or reusing perfectly nice leftovers, or finishing the plate of my children when they don’t eat it all.

We live abroad and my son’s nursery was already feeding them 3-course healthy meals (soup, main meal, piece of fruit or yoghurt) from 18 months onwards, including things like poached fish with fennel...

My toddler did. Now that she’s 5 however she has become really fussy.

Yes mine do. 7 and 2. We are Indian so they both eat spicy food otherwise I can’t take them back to India.
This week’s menu was:
Monday and Tuesday- rice, dal, one veggie dish (and a smaller veggie bean dish for the kids), chicken curry on Monday and fish curry on Tuesday.
Wednesday: Fajitas with guacamole and sour cream for the kids. We made a VERY spicy mango salsa for ourselves.
Thursday: Indian food again- dal, rice, potatoes, okra and prawn curry. (It is relatively usual for us not to eat one ‘curry’ per meal- there is always dal in my house. Always. Plus a veggie curry. And something non veg).
Friday: is always always pizza day in this house.
Saturday: lunch we eat out. Dinner is going to be this rice and chicken thing that is vaguely Middle Eastern and both kids like. I make roast veggies and this tahini thing goes on top of everything. Kids will also get hummus and pita.
Sunday: big roast lunch thing that DH will cook. Leftovers for dinner.

They will also eat Thai curry. If it’s too spicy I give them yoghurt. I also make a big vaguely Burmese soup where you add the extra condiments and they like that.
They also eat a lot of pasta with us- so carbonara, prawn linguine.
Fried rice is a favourite. I can always add some sesame oil to mine to make it spicier.
I also do this baked chicken thing using Indian spices that is a Nigel Slater recipe. They will have that with roti and cucumber raita and baked potatoes with cumin.

Chillis: so you can have whole fresh chillies, dry red chillies and chilli powder. It is the latter that burns. Mine will have curries with both fresh chillies and dried red chillies in them.

3yr old & a 9month old - both eat what we are having. If it's a "spicy" curry, for example, (although it's seldom more spicy than a tikka masala 🙄 DC1 has got it in her head any curry is spicy 🤦‍♀️ ) we add some plain yoghurt to her portion.
Typical evening meals we've had this past fortnight;
Roast dinner, spaghetti Bolognese, salmon risotto, beef stew & dumplings, pizzas, chicken nuggets & chips, pasta bake with many veggies, sausage casserole, paella, curry, meatballs, chilli in wraps (youngest just had chilli as couldn't manage the wraps with no teeth), cottage pie.
We have a "take it or leave it" approach. We never knowingly serve something that they really don't like, if they decide that they don't like a particular ingredient whilst eating (in this instance it was spinach in the pasta bake) then they are encouraged to eat around it but to not make a fuss over it. On the whole we are extremely lucky that both children will typically eat what they are given.