to think there is nothing I can buy my mum for mothers day

[greatbighillofhope]

I am absolutely drawing a total blank with ideas for her. She is pretty well off, has all the perfume/makeup/beauty stuff she could want, goes out for lunches/theatre/weekends away very regularly, has millions of scented candles/diffusers, only wears her 'real' jewellery, reads books on her kindle, doesn't drink alcohol, already has subscriptions to magazines, blah blah blah. I don't like wasting money on cut flowers (which are also an environmental disaster). I am stuck. Ideas?

Don’t feel obliged to give something you can’t afford to someone who makes you feel apologetic for being who you are, and having the children you have. A card is enough. Don’t sweat over it. If a card is enough, get something ethical along the lines of a goat.
Give a donation to the DEC fund for Mozambique cyclone in her name.

If a card is not

I guess a lot of the problem wrt to buying her a gift is that she lives the life of Riley (and I don’t) so feel a bit jealous/resentful if I’m honest really. She wasn’t massively hands on when I was a kid which is ok but I have dc with extra needs but she’s not very hands on as a grandparent either (and actually often makes me feel uncomfortable about them having extra needs as it’s ‘inconvenient’ for her.

Send her a card.

But she expects a fuss to be made on mother’s day, she has mentioned several times that we ‘didn’t really do anything special’ last year so I know I have to step up my game this year.

We don't always get what we want. Your mother isn't an exception. She hasn't put in the graft that makes people much beloved parents.