To not care about people I have never met!

[topcat2014]

Now, for context, I am not talking about people in the news. And I would never wish ill health or bad luck on anyone.

However, DW likes to give me a run down of all the people she has dealings with each day - none of whom I have met. Thus, I can't visualise any of them or keep track of their stories.

Thus, I come up as disinterested - which is kind of true - but the reality is I just hear it like Charlie Brown's teacher "wah, wah, wah".

I think it is that I find it hard to follow the conversation when I have no idea of the people. A bit like I struggle to follow the Archers.

I have a friend who does this. I get told the ins and outs of many a random person. I too struggle to keep up, and am guilty of switching off. Until next time when she takes up where she left off... “remember what I told you about Jane, well....” and off she goes again!

She also seems to get very over invested in other peoples troubles and bad luck too. Getting massively upset if someone she barely knows has been sadly diagnosed with something terrible for instance. Drives me mad, I think she thrives on any drama. But she’s a very old friend and has always been the same so I just do a little inward eye roll and get on with my day!

sharpstick

Yes, whereas if I hear 'Jane Smith has cancer', it leaves me emotionally flatlining, and I perversely feel guilt for that.

But then if it's a storyline on tv or in a documentary, I DO care.

My daughter does this. All the dramas of colleagues lives.
I don't mind her telling me about stuff about them in their interactions with her but she goes on and on about their problems and relationships.
She expects me to remember who they are and gets irritated when I forget who she's talking about.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

And very very tiny minds copy and paste other peoples words in contexts where they are not helpful.

Some of my mum's conversations are quite interesting though ,she still lives in the house I grew up in and regularly sees,s the parents of people I sent to school with so I know all about the breakdown of the marriage of someone I was best friends with when I was in Junior 2_I haven't seen her since we left school and we are 45 but still...

Fridasrage

I do kinda like that saying, but it is a bit silly to take it to the nth degree.

I definitely don't like talking to people who never discuss ideas or events though. I just find it boring.

However, maybe the nit-picky exception is that it means people you don't both know?

Both Dm and best friend do this. I just tune out.

thecatsthecats
*
Me too

With regards to emotionalally flatlining I mean!

Emotionally even! good lord back to bed for me

On the other hand...

Me: Jenny fell and broke her wrist this morning.
DH: I have no idea who Jenny is.
Me: She's our neighbour. She waters our greenhouse when we are on holiday. She has a key to our house.

FIL was worse. He once interrupted MIL mid-anecdote to say that he had no idea who Jane and Mike were. They're your sister and brother in law she replied.

“of course you know Pete! Pete with the hair!”

This drives me crazy.

You know Ronnie

"No

You do!

No.

You do! He's married to Margery

No

Yes, you do - they use to I've beside the abattoir but moved to those bungalows next to the library.

Sorry - I don't know them.

Yes you DO know them. They had an alsatian called Grenville. It ate a lightbulb and cost them thousands at the vet's.

(I now know that I definitely don't know them - I may forget the people, but I know all the dogs.)

Honestly Mam - I don't know who you mean. But tell me the story anyway.

You DO know them. The story makes no sense if you don't know Ronnie - but you DO know him. He wears a trilby - turns his hat brim down all the way round. It used to get on your dad's nerves.

I don't know him, Mam.

Yes you DO! You DO know him.

Honestly, Mam -

YOU KNOW HIM!!!! HE ONLY HAS ONE EAR! HEWAS BITTEN BY A PARAKEET AND IT TURNED SEPTIC!

(By now it is obvious to both of us that I have no idea who she is talking about. However, this can't be admitted, and the Great Prelude continues for several minutes until we finally end with . . .

You Do know him. Anyway, he's changed his car . . .

I've a colleague/friend who does this, but only about one particular person. Don't mind it because said person I don't know is hilariously bonkers. I actually regard her as kind of a personal soap opera narrated by friend.

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Absolutely ROFLing over here!

Or put down the gin. It's not even lunchtime, woman.

My mum does this. The only person I've been interested in was a 65 year old woman from Pilates who also started online dating and was apparently having lots of fun but my ma hasn't mentioned her again unfortunately

Oh so many of you must be my sisters (and brothers)!

My mum does this and has always done it. She goes on and on about people I don't know, will never meet and don't give a toss about which is annoying enough but then she neglects to tell me stuff about people I do care for. When I finally get a word in sideways and ask after Uncle Fred she says "oh didn't I tell you? He broke his leg 6 weeks ago". No you bastarding didn't because you've been waffling on about Terry and fricking Brenda. Nor did you tell me last time we spoke or the time before that....WTF???? Why? Why?

I don't mind these stories from old people. Sometimes they are quite entertaining - my grandad used to have very funny nicknames for people and came out with some absolute corkers.

Not quite the same thing but my mum and dad used to have these ridiculous conversations which added nothing at all to what they wanted to tell you:

Mum: We went to see your Aunt Shirley on Tuesday, she ...

Dad (interrupting): It was Wednesday Joan.

Mum: No, it was Tuesday Ron, I remember because it was the day we went to Frosts in the morning and they had no cheese scones so you had a word with that woman with the teeth behind the counter.

Dad: It was definitely Wednesday Joan, I had to bring Shirley's bin in for her because of her toe. I think I know what day it was.

Mum (bristling): Well you would wouldn't you, god forbid you could make a mistake.

Me: What. The. Fuck.

I feel your pain HarrySnotter. Mine do this too and I have been know to interject with a very loud "IT DOESN'T MATTER JUST GET TO THE POINT" Arghhhh.

Convo with DM last night

‘You remember Helen? She went to the same uni the year after you. Oh no actually it wasn’t the same uni - the other one in the city. Well, her mum spoke to my friend....’

I think it's people who are on the lower end of the intelligence scale who tend to do this. They all keep an eye on other peoples goings on and then whitter about it.

ineed it has nothing to do with intelligence.
If I am doing this it is generally because I am sharing human interest stories rather than wittering on endlessly about "technical c**p" normal people find inaccessible and boring.

DH works in IT. I have absolutely zero interest in how he solves his coding conundrums or updates his testing specs. Fortunately he is emotionally intelligent enough to realise this.

I think it's people who are on the lower end of the intelligence scale who tend to do this.

What rubbish. MIL was an academic for all of her working life.

I'm going straight to hell for this but we call Dear Nan the Grim Reaper because she always talks about death, dying, dead people, places she knows where people have died