To not care about people I have never met!

[topcat2014]

Now, for context, I am not talking about people in the news. And I would never wish ill health or bad luck on anyone.

However, DW likes to give me a run down of all the people she has dealings with each day - none of whom I have met. Thus, I can't visualise any of them or keep track of their stories.

Thus, I come up as disinterested - which is kind of true - but the reality is I just hear it like Charlie Brown's teacher "wah, wah, wah".

I think it is that I find it hard to follow the conversation when I have no idea of the people. A bit like I struggle to follow the Archers.

oldowl I think it gets worse with age but certainly not limited to those of a certain generation. My mum has always been like it and she's only in her mid 50s!

My mum cheats at this game by talking about our neighbours, who to be fair, are the same as when I was a child. But these people lived miles away from us because we're rural, and I would be shocked if I'd exchanged 10 words with them altogether.

Now she tells me in a fantastically mournful way (as if she expects me to wear black) that "Sheila doesn't have very long left you know" (that kept going for about two years), or "It's so dreadfully sad about Peter" (died aged 98, peacefully).

My MIL specialises in this habit's equally uninteresting cousin You Know Where That Shop Is? On Bridge St? It Used To Be A Hairdresser? Remember When You Got Your Haircut There But We Didn't Like It And Moved To The Lady In Town? Well, Now It's A Butcher's And That's Where I Got These Sausages.

Horrific. You should all go NC with these anecdote-tellers on the grounds of criminally poor banter.

Oh god we have this with lovely MIL. It has a new edge to it though. She asks my DH about people he hasn't seen in years. Every Xmas he/we get asked if we've seen Pete Smith recently. I've never met Pete and we've been married for 12 years. He has no interest in Pete but still gets asked

Also the couples he's friends with... but MIL doesn't know them so it doesn't really make for great conversation.

Luckily she is incredibly nosey and has lots of anecdotes about her friends and dead people to keep the conversation flowing

I have a friend who does this, but talking about a dream she had the night before. It is so pointless! I wouldn't mind if she summarised, like 'I had a strange dream last night where I won the lottery' but no, it would be 'I had the strangest dream, I was in sainsburys talking to Bob while queueing to buy a lottery ticket... you know Bob, I used to work with him at the insurance company, and lived next door but one to us in the old house, oh I suppose I didn't know you then. Well Bob was married to Sheila and they lived in...'blah blah blah. It is mind numbing. She didn't used to do it!

My mum does the "I saw so and so in town the other day! You know, so and so's mum from school? Well we thought you'd both be desperate to meet up so I've given them your phone number so you can/taken theirs and promised on this behalf you'll arrange to meet up with them!

Wtf ma, they were this one kid in school who I had nothing to do with and haven't seen for 30 years!

My friend does this and it drives me crazy. She just drops random names into the conversation without explaining who they are, as if I'm supposed to know them.

My DH's response to me usually is along the lines of "don't know them, don't care". so yeah, I do get you.

I find people who do this don’t actually want a conversation, just someone to talk at. MIL does this but doesn’t listen to anything back. I don’t think she’s ever asked me a single question in the 20 years I’ve known her. If any of us talk she turns it back round to her. She remembers nothing of any importance or interest. It’s just a stream of consciousness about random people. So she must be listening to someone...

My lovely mum does this. Tells me all about the osteopaths daughters husband - I’ve never met any of these people mum!

My mum is queen of this, and always has been, nothing to do with age. Remember Barbara in the Royale Family? That's her

It really is brain numbing, my mind fogs over when I'm tired and I find it impossible to give the correct responses (I long ago gave up with telling her that I don't know/remember these people, she doesn't care, it's just an opportunity to talk) .

I quite like listening to ramblings like you’re all describing. It’s like listening to The Archers 😂

My mum does this, usually about people she knows well but I met once, when I was 8.

Maybe if you started listening you might remember them? Why not take an interest in what happens in your wife's daily life? We can't all talk about deep and meaningful issues or debate world politics. Why not be kinder?

I usually nip this in the bud with DM. When she starts with "Oh - you know Marjorie?", instead of letting her go through the twenty degrees of separation, I just say "Has she died?" And whaddaya know? She has.

DH does this. I normally find that a "Do I know this person?" does the trick.

My mother does it too. On the phone. During our one conversation per week. She asks me one question about how I am then I have to listen to her tell me about the lives of people I have never met. All the time I am wondering why she doesn't want to hear more about what we - her daughter and grandchildren - have been up to.

I know I do it a little. I do tell her some things about what is going on in my friends' lives but she has at least met everyone I talk about or I only mention something if it also has some relevance to her.

My mom does this. She's 85 and has dementia. But always has done.
As a child I remember her recounting office gossip about someone she called "black eyed Sue." Why she didn't refer to her as just Sue I'll never know. Oh, and there was someone called Dink as well.
And my dad, who wasn't much of a talker, would share that "the gaffer" at his work had said such and such.
I remember thinking what funny names these people had...
I rarely tell mom about my friends other than a very quick one line - they're moving house, had a baby, started a new job etc - as she's never met most of them.
The kids ramble on too about people I don't know, especially my oldest dd, 17. I would say it was inherited but they're adopted so it can't be!

DP does this drives me to distraction but i love his voice...the minute i try to tell him my ramblings his eyes glaze. If my eyes glaze he gets offenfed

Occasionally hell mske jokes about when women talk and men just hear wah wah wah. Pot calling kettle black.

He also has to give me the run down and show me supermarket bargains hes bought when hes been to the shops.
Now if i tried to tell him that i got 5p knocked off a pack of sausages and show him...he'd be gone haha hes a cheeky buugger but i love him

Well, thank your lucky stars none of you will ever do this, because as you age, your world will never become smaller.......

Is it not an age thing?

Nope. DW has always done this. Despite me being very clear that I am completely misanthropic and have a terrible memory for names, she insists on telling me what some woman I met for 30s, at a party 6 years ago, is up to.

To make it worse, she can't describe people in anything except the blandest terms:

Her: 'You know, Jane'
Me: 'I don't'
Her: 'You know, her husband is a builder'
Me: 'I didn't speak to her husband, and this was 6 years ago'.
Her: 'Her daughter played with DD that time'
Me: 'I wasn't there'.......
....30 min later:
Me 'Do you mean the woman with the horrifying skin condition, whose husband has only one eyebrow and looks like a serial killer?'
Her: 'Yes, that's her. She just got a new cat'.
Me: ''Oh, OK. I don't care'.

My mother does this but I think she does it for the attention because she likes to feel she’s in the know.

She will tell me about Mavis from bingos great grandchild’s friend at school has been diagnosed with asthma. When I say I have no idea who Mavis is I get the ‘well she lived next to the post office for 40 years. You would of walked past her house everyday to school. You must of noticed her as her windows were always spotless. Always out by 8am in a Monday and Friday morning cleaning them. She never told me how she kept them so clean and smear free. I think it’s because she was friends with Mary and she always used vinegar and newspaper but I think the vinegar was a special type because her husband Bob, you know the one with the hair who drove the red car got her some from work’ 🤦‍♀️

I moved to the other side of the country 20 years ago and I visit for a day every few months. I have no idea who any of these people are.

I have a sister like this! I do take a genuine interest and I hope I'm never unkind - but there's a limit! She generally has a lot more time than me (no family commitments) and it is frustrating if you have a thousand things to get through to a deadline and she is rattling on describing the slant of the cheekbones and the colour of the hair of the woman in the shop who was altering her skirt that day (to use a recent example). I don't think there is anything wrong with that sort of conversation per se, I just think it's good manners to have an awareness of how much time you are taking up of someone else's life, when describing yours!

My lovely mum used to do this & GarthFunkel's post made me both laugh & cry at the memory.

My mum does this about corrie/emmerdale etc. I haven't watched them for years but she'll still ask "did you see corrie last night?" Then proceed to tell me exactly what happened and delve into the history of each character... As she knows who she's talking about she ends up referring to everyone as "he" and "she" so I literally have no clue who or what she is going on about by the end!