DM won’t visit us because we rent

[Mangetoutrodney]

DM is embarrassed we rent a tiny house. She makes this clear every time we speak as she says things like ‘it’s ridiculous you live in that house’ ‘and when are you going into move to a bigger house’ etc etc.
We can’t afford to buy or rent a bigger house. Her husband has 2 ‘golden children’ that live in massive houses they own so it’s made clear regularly that we are the black sheep.
But she’s only see her grandkids once for a few hours in the last year- she won’t visit us and I think it’s because we are an embarrassment to her.
Aibu to have it out with her? My DCs ask why she never comes to visit. It makes me feel so crap & such a failure in my life- we just can’t afford to buy.

From a practical sense, if thry visit can they actually stay with you vs you visiting them? Does she not want to impsoe or pay for a hotel?

In terms of the comments, next time she asks I'd say "Mom, stop. This house is what we can afford. It keeps our children warm and safe. It is enough." and change the subject. Every time she mentions it, same comment, subject changr

whatever you end up doing re confronting her, the most important thing is to not let her ridiculous snobbery get to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have a good job, a good family, lovely children, I'm sure a really nice house, full of love and the people and things that make you happy. You are a success because finding all of that is pretty hard. You have achieved, love, happiness, a career you enjoy, a husband/partner you love and who loves you and children who you cherish. That means more than any money, posh care and big house ever could. Always remember that. She is the one with a problem. She is the one who should feel ashamed of herself. Never, ever let yourself take onboard what she says.

You cannot be serious! She sounds a total prat!

Reflect her shitty opinions back to her... Are you ashamed of your hardworking family???

DM is embarrassed we rent a tiny house. She makes this clear every time we speak as she says things like ‘it’s ridiculous you live in that house’ ‘and when are you going into move to a bigger house’ etc etc.

Tell her you're embarrassed that she cares so much about material possessions. Say things like "it's ridiculous you care so much about money" and "when are you going to stop being such an insufferable snob".

Tell her you won't visit her until she becomes a better human being.

I think I’d be happier if someone so small-minded and judgemental didn’t visit!

If you are happy and you and your family have a good life, frankly you deserve a medal. Next time she comments, just say “oh well, you won’t want to visit then” and hang up.

I’d let her Skype her gdcs and leave it at that.

It's not the house. Dump her

Why do you want your DC to have a relationship with someone who treats you like shit?

Tell her someone needs to hurry along and die so you get some inheritance - that will shut her up! What a twat! Ignore her, you're doing just great :-)