To think husband should stop asking for money?

[Alwaysmoney]

So husband earns £1200/ month
I usually earn £1800/month, but I've currently got a temporary contract giving me £2100/ month (this is only for 12 months, then my wage goes back to normal)

Husband keeps asking me for money to do his hobbies, even before my temporary wage increase. Since the wage increase its more frequent.

For household bills and shopping etc. he puts in £600/month, I do £1200/ month. The idea of this was that we would both have £600/month to spend on ourselves/ treats etc.

Last year we agreed I would pay the balance on the holiday for next year, and he would cover spending money. Now he says he can afford maybe half of spending money and I'll need to pay the extra.

In December I put £500 towards new equipment for his hobby, with the agreement he would do extra work around home improvements instead of me doing it. He hasn't done any of this yet.

In January he asked to borrow £150 and said he would pay back £50 in Feb, March and April. I haven't yet received anything.

He has now asked for £50 to go towards a new tattoo this weekend (that has been booked for months) as without it he wouldn't be able to add to his savings.

I couldn't tell you the last time I bought anything for myself. My £600 goes on him, the house, DC, extra shopping, fuel etc. I haven't had new clothes since before I was pregnant with DC who is now 1. I have an extra bill of £250 this month due to career requirements (unable to claim back through work).

Wibu to say no chance is he getting any more money? I want to not have to take out of savings every month and be left with hardly anything when it's because he's spending all my money on him and putting his into his savings.

Add up how much you’ve given him since you went on maternity leave and how much he has given you. Then show him.

If he wants more money he needs to earn more money, not take what little disposable income you have.

He's on a pretty low salary - £1200 per month can't support the lifestyle he wants, and the bonus is on him to do something about that.

Onus not bonus!

So while you were on maternity leave you were dipping into savings rather than him paying more?!?

Don’t give it to him.

And go on a shopping spree yourself.

You only earn a third more than him yet pay double the bills??Hes got it easy, tell him to jog on. Does ever buy anything for the house or baby? I doubt it.

He’s hilarious. He can cancel the tattoo appointment for a start . So not give him any money .

And what did you tell him when he said you would need to make up the spending money for the holiday? After you've already paid for it on the agreement that spending money was his responsibility. Please tell me you stand up for yourself.

You really need to sit down with him and set it all out.

TheInvestigator I said I wouldn't be paying for spends and her had better save more if he didn't think he'd have enough on what he's currently saving. And if he doesn't save more it will be him who suffers because it's for activities not food, we're all inclusive. I'm happy to sunbathe and not go out every day, it's him who wants to do external stuff - hence why he is paying for it.

Arowana he did pay more while I was on maternity leave. Still had to use my savings too though just because of the wage drop

You only earn a third more than him yet pay double the bills?

Depending on circumstance that's not necessarily unfair. I pay twice as much into the joint account as DH, but I have next to no travel costs as I walk or cycle to work.

He's also never asked me to fund his hobbies.

Why are your savings going to top up maternity leave. He should be covering at least half of that and really more because you are the one taking the career hit

I had an ex like this. I early a lot more but We were meant to have same amount anti spend each. Reality was he had about £500 a month for himself. I had way less as everything else came out of my income. He bought loads for himself out of the joint account when actually it should have come from his money. Small amounts but lots of them! Any big expenses were 100% borne by me. I got fed up of it.

He really doesn't sound like the sort of man anyone would want to be their partner.
Please do not give him money for a tattoo. And if he wants to do extra activities on holiday, let him pay for them.

What does he say when you ask for the money he borrowed back? Or have you not asked for it?

You need to rearrange your finances. All this his money/my money is nonsense when you’re married with kids.

Both salaries into joint account. All bills, house, food, DC comes out of that.

Then £x amount each per month into personal accounts to each do want you want with.

Anything left into joint savings.

He wouldn't be getting a tattoo off me, no. Serve him right when he has to rebook and the wait is months!

JUst bamboozled by the idea of £600 a month spending money after bills and food

Well, I'm going to be controversial and say, sod the money, ditch him for having tattoos.

Why do you keep giving it to him!

Or, if you want to make him feel like the 8 year old asking for pocket money that he is, put a list of chores on the fridge and tell him he can have £5 per chore AFTER it's done.

And play No Scrubs loudly as he's doing the chores.

I guess i gave it to him because I earn more so feel like I need to contribute more.
Like it isn't fair that I have a higher wage. But because he uses so much it works out with him having way more free money than me.

But OP you do already contribute significantly more than he does £600 a month extra for the bills, therefore you absolutely should not feel guilted into subsidising him further as that ends up meaning that you earn the bulk of the money, but see the least of it

I wonder what the response would have been in reverse.

I wonder why someone always wonders what the response would have been in reverse.