To rely solely on condoms during fertile window?

[willisurvive3under2]

We have 3 tiny children. We're definitely done. DH went to the GP for a vasectomy referral, came back with printouts about me getting the coil We're going back ASAP. In the meantime we're using condoms.

Needless to say, I feel like having sex when I ovulate. Pretty normal I guess when off hormonal contraception. Am I being naive to think this is ok for x months until we sort the snip? Getting pregnant again would be a disaster but I don't think I could bring myself to have a termination. I get pregnant very easily and I've had twins so I guess it could happen again. Am I playing with fire?

How old is DH? My friends had an issue with the doctor wanting his wife's "permission" as he was under 30 despite having 4 children

DH and I used the pullout method successfully for 6 weeks prior to TTC! Then as soon as we started trying I caught. So it must have worked... But we did this because me getting pregnant earlier wouldn't have been that bad, we would have managed. If it would have been a "disaster" for us then there's no way we would have had sex without me being on the pill, as well as using condoms. I just wouldn't risk it.

Why did he come back from his referral with info about the coil?

@babyfloof He's mid thirties. The GP knew I supported him in his decision.

@PregnantSea presumably it's cheaper for the NHS to sort a coil than to arrange the snip? I'm pissed off about it!

Yes it will be money, coil cheaper than a vasectomy. It can be hard to get referred.

I think also because a vasectomy is permanent (they can be reversed but it doesn't always work) whereas coil is temporary. They always prefer non permanent contraception.

Still, if you know you don't want anymore kids it seems unfair not to do it

I’m in my 40s, I’ve got a good memory, enjoy a regular and healthy sex life, and I can’t remember when I last had sex without a condom; no problems.

I would agree with others though, use a condom every time.

Should you encounter a problem such as a split, and I never have in a not insignificant number of friendships, there is the morning after pill. Before I get shot down in flames here, I an saying the latter is very much a last resort.

Its fine, like others have said I used only condoms for years without a single problem. Most people who get pregnant using condoms do so because they use them too late/ don't use them at all/ use one that is out of date. At least in the unlikely event of one splitting you know so you can get emergency contraception which isn't the case for other methods.

I know someone got pregnant further up thread having taken the MAP but whatever combination you post someone will have got pregnant using it.

At the end of the day the only way of being sure is to not have sex

VoiceOfCommonSense
Well I wasn’t till you said it. Not everyone has anal sex do they? 🤷🏼‍♀️
I don’t but maybe I’m in the minority.
I wouldn’t risk just condoms but then I don’t really trust them although they obviously work if used correctly. Too risky IMO.

I worry about this too OP. Can't use hormonal contraception for medical reasons and really want to avoid the copper coil. At the moment we do want another baby so I'm not too worried but it's what we do once we are definitely "done".

@PregnantSea - did you mean 6 weeks?! I don't think you could call pull out effective on that basis!

Yes, I did mean 6 weeks haha.

I was being a bit tongue in cheek really, the pullout method isn't recommended and for good reason. I just mentioned it because I was highlighting our relaxed attitude to contraception at the time - we wouldn't have minded much if I got pregnant at that time, it would just have been better to wait the 6 weeks. OP says it would be a disaster if she got pregnant now, and I know if I was in that position I'd be very vigilant with contraception.

Iv been using condoms for years and nothing else.

No problems so far and I still have sex in my fertile window

No contraception is 100% fool proof, is it. I guess luck plays its part, too.

This is a how long is a piece of string question. No one can know if they would have got pregnant anyway, even if not using contraception and I say that as a super fertile person. It's all relative.

I fell pregnant 10 years ago after missing 1 pill (close family bereavement) which ended in termination. When we did eventually ttc it happened in the first month. Our second was conceived outside of my fertile window (I was tracking) on a very drunk evening when we forgot to use a condom for about 5 seconds - stopped and then resumed. A happy surprise as we were planning to ttc soon. Our third was conceived outside of my fertile window with a condom. I know exactly when I fell pregnant as we only did it once that month due to illness - the condom went on before anything happened and was checked when it came off. So I know what it is to be super fertile and there is no way I would rely solely on condoms during my fertile window with my history. I actually have the coil and use condoms during my fertile window. Another baby would be a life changing disaster right now. I'd have to terminate and it would brake me. Honestly I would rather abstain than not double up during my fertile window.

You're obviously thinking seriously about this. Please ignore those people who say if you use a condom properly you'll be fine. The success rates alone tell you that's not true. It even says it on the packet. Even those who say as soon as they came off fell pregnant, don't actually know of they hadn't have been on condoms if it would have taken that month anyway.

We've used condoms for 9 years now (cause I wanted a dc3 and dh didnt ). Not so much as a false alarm. Used properly, their failure rate is low.

tea I got pregnant using condoms (slipped off, apparently never happened before to DP) and MAP (turns out the effectiveness goes right down if you've already ovulated)

Using the mini pill (missed a few at least this month though), condoms (tempted to duct tape it on) and breastfeeding (though I already had a period)... think I'm going to take bets on me being pregnant with twins by 2020

We only use condoms. Don't see why I should fill myself with hormones. No issues here at all.

For those who use condoms, where do you buy them? They're so expensive!

@Scottishgirl85 just any supermarket. But if you go to your GUM clinic they give you them for free if I remember correctly from many years ago.

Without stating the obvious.
Its not just your fertile window you need to worry about, is it. Even before you're fertile sperm can live inside you for up to week, I think.

We’ve used condoms for around 5 years without any issue and I’m super fertile (1 DC conceived whilst on the pill and the other within 2 weeks of making a decision to TTC).

Not so much a whiff of a scare! I’m trying to persuade DH to get the snip as we are done but he’s being precious about it!

scottish Amazon got an automatic refund when there was a recall last year... free condoms and a baby woo! (The issue that caused the recall didn't cause the baby)

We used condoms for 30 years . I only got pregnant when we planned it.

I’d second considering a diaphragm during your fertile window. No hormones, can be considered a bit “unspontaneous” (is that hat even a word?) but with year old twins I doubt spontaneity is really practical for you anyway. Little messy but maybe reassuring that you’ve a belt and braces option pre snip. (The snip was no problem for my dh and worry free sex is fab)