To think I'm allowed to feel fat?

[zunshine]

I was talking with a couple friends and we got onto the conversation about wanting to loose weight and not feeling comfortable with our bodies. I'm a size 12 whereas they're more size 14 one is a mix between 14 and 16 and we're all around the same height. I could really relate to what they were talking about, I've struggled with my weight and confidence for many years but their responses to me agreeing were "you're a size 12, I hate when people say they're fat and their clearly not". My argument to that was I still feel insecure about my body which is allowed and I don't think they're fat either, it's simply how we see ourselves.

I find it odd they react this way towards me but not each other and it seems to be because I'm a size 12 when realistically our weight isn't all that different. But I can never mention my weight or being a diet around them without being completely shut down

@bumblingbovine49

It is possible to feel ugly even if you're not. It's possible to feel stupid even when you're not.

And it's definitely possible to feel fat even when you're not.

It's great that you don't, but everyone is different.

I wouldn’t make those sorts of comments in front of friends who were bigger than me. That’s a bit insensitive.

I HATE this, I’m a size 8 but since having children I am A LOT looser and feel fat but I’m not allowed to moan about it because I’m an 8 🙄

Of course you are. I'm an 8 and would like to lose a stone as I feel unfit and flabby even though I'm thin because I don't bloody exercise. You know when your body feels at its best and are entitled to few that way.

Kennehora

Yeah because a 12/14 is gross right?

But seriously, you've missed my point I think. I was responding (to a specific point made by the OP) about how my colleague relates to me - a fat person - about fat people as if she's not talking to a fat person. It's very odd.

I don't care if she wants to be a size zero FFS. I fully understand the concept of perspective.

@bumblingbovine49 I worded it wrong but clearly from your examples you understand what I was implying. Feeling fat or in other words unhappy with my weight and the appearance of my body

Kennehora

Why are you so angry with me? I was talking about a specific person I know. I was agreeing with the OP.

I understand that he is objectively fatter than I am. I also understand that he doesn't really give a shit,and that I suffer more from 'feeling fat' than he does, on any given day.

I get that. Hence my ptevious comment about perspective. But I'm pretty sure you wouldn't look at me and not see a fat person. Which was my point.

@bibliomania that's completely not true. At 5'4 (average height) anything above 7'10 is healthy

@bibliomania I'm a fucking idiot '9lb' - forgive me I'm clearly an idiot

I don't think yabu but in the same way as someone said above it's making them feel insulted.im a size 12 and if y oi u covered the middle portion of me you'd say I had a very good figure but people look at my belly because I look about 5/6 months pregnant and my clothes definitely don't hide it well. We don't have much money for clithes( 4 kids) so I spill over trousers but wear long top and so I just look lumpy and awful and I feel like that too but I'd only ever moan at people my own size

I wouldn't bring up the conversation myself to someone a bigger size than me but since the conversation was already happening. I'm used to being the bigger one compared to friends and family and i have had it the other way round before. I remember someone saying how much they hated being skinny once and wondering why that would possibly be a negative thing. I can see why it might be difficult to see someone else's point of view but It was more they weren't willing to listen to my point of view

YANBU - I'm lucky in that I'm tall and slim, but I've noticed a little weight creeping on and I'm losing the tone I used to have on my abs.

Am I fat? No.

Am I putting on weight and fatter than usual? Yes.

Is this a wake up call for me to lay off the booze and chocolate a bit (it's been a sociable couple of months)? Yes.

Is any of the above a value judgement on anyone else in any way? No.

You are allowed to feel 'fat' if you've put some weight on, and if someone is offended by that because your scales read a lower number than theirs then it says more about their insecurities than anything else.