Seeing a guy last year who was all let's keep it casual (fine, what I needed) and telling me how he was fed up with his ex and her family treating him like a handy man, and how he had come to dislike dependant women, how I shouldn't fall in love with him (🙄) etc etc. Didn't really give a toss about any of that because I was in it for some (good) sex and a bit of company. Never expected or wanted romance of the century. Never asked him for anything, didn't need to, look after myself.
This guy then starts fixing stuff in my house without asking. Tells me how if he gets me pregnant then we'll have to get married and I'd have to move in with him and give up work. I didn't react - mainly because it wasn't going to happen, I made sure the likelihood of pregnancy was as low as it can be when you're sexually active. And on the off chance it did, the above certainly wasn't going to happen.
Then the half asleep 'love you' a few times. Again, ignored. Then the wierd presents - some ear phones because he noticed mine were broken, stuff like that. Romantic gestures etc. Just didn't react to any of it because the other half of the time he was busy reminding me we were fwb and nothing would come of it. I totally agreed.
Then he threw a strop one night and told me all single mums are the same, and I was just trying to get myself pregnant and move in with him, because he has his own house (the banks house for the next 25 years actually) and how as effectively a labourer on a building site and a farm, he needed someone who 'brought to the table what he did'
So I put distance between us. We'd always said we'd be honest, so he asked why I was off, so I told him. He ended the arrangement because I was out of order apparently. Fine by me. We had agreed to be honest, but I then found out that he was chasing someone else - again fine, but the fact he'd basically made me out to be something I wasn't, after something I wasn't, instead of just saying 'time to move on' pissed me right off. To add insult to injury who he was chasing is a single mum, older than me (another reason cited for why I apparently wasn't good enough to even be his friend) and well known for doing what he accused me of. I did hear that he did a lot for her and gave her money. Dunno if it's true, don't care really.
What has totally fucked me off however is that now that appears to be over, when we've crossed paths he's been falling over himself to talk to me, where I've got a cursory nod and maybe a hello for the last year. Fuck right off.
Seems like he wanted me to be what he hated, so he could hate me. And when I wasn't, made it up anyway. Get to fuck mate. I had one abusive and controlling Arsehole, you will not be the next.
Wow previewed that and it's bloody long, but I've never told anyone in real life about this - I feel better after that rant!
And I'm so sorry to those of you going through so much worse than me right now 🍷
🥧🍰🥃☕ and hopes for a better tomorrow.