AIBU re cousin comments ?

[Pauperlil]

Spoke to my cousin about my son problems and her reply really upset me, but then I'm wondering am I being a slow flake ?!

I have 2 boys, my youngest 8 has got moderate to severe eczema and a few months ago has been diagnosed with Development Language disorder and goes to special classes twice a week . He is delayed academically too. He also has a ENT referral as speech therapist said his voice seems too husky etc .

My older boy 11 is fine with none of these issues.

Both eczema and development language disorder (DLD) are due to genetics. They is environmental influences but the foundations are genetics.

DLD arises from genetic influences on early brain development. We don’t know enough about specific genes to have a biological test for language disorder.

My Cousin then said "wow a child with both genetics problems and possible ent issues now !! You and your oh are a wrong mix!"

She then said as we're cousins any future kids she is worried she have a child like my 8 year old.

Am I being over sensitive? I think it hurt as it is a bit true, our genetics on our son have caused him to have these problems, not just one but a few. I'm also glad we stopped at two cos would future kids have these problems

Yanbu. That was incredibly hurtful. That's just something you don't say to anyone. More so about how it might affect your future children.

alwaysteatime

Thank you, that has made me understand more what other posters have been trying to say re the DLD genetic source.

Your cousin is so rude.

Hi Pauperlil I think you have been having a hard time of it and its never nice facing up to issues your children have. But I think you are taking some of your anger out on your cousin who quite frankly was highly insensitive, but hey ho, get used to it lots of people are twats and they won't be the last person to put their foot in it to you!

A few years ago when I was going through ivf I started to make a game of counting up how many people said blunt/ hurtful things to me everyday. It started to get quite hilarious because eventually EVERYONE did it to me - they didn't mean to be mean but most people just don't know how to say the right thing about difficult subjects. So rather then getting upset at each remark you get just have a quiet snigger and mentally award each wally comment with the derision it deserves.
Now its time for my wally comment ; these issues with your child are not as huge as you feel they are right now- there are parents facing much greater problems than these - SO paint on a smile and get on with loving your children, who will become even more precious with each problem.

Oh and steer clear of twatty cousins for a while!

so your cousin has stupid, tactless, bitch genes, - thank goodness you & your children didn't inherit them :) seriously its not so much genes you inherit & tendencies - ie other things come together & sometimes its mild mutations or a thousand other things - people always say things - my dm (!!!) kept telling me there was nothing like this in her family - (asthma! eczema & asd) but when I looked round the family... no one has perfect genetics & yours aren't faulty - normal is a flexible feast - if it exists! your dc are perfect in your eyes & beautiful - whether they have issues or not - your role as mum is going to be less straightforward but when your dc accomplishes small things you will celebrate them - I am not saying you wont have worrying times - but you don't know yet what your dc potential is & what they can accomplish & believe me dc may surprise you - a word of kind advice - just give them longer to grow up & develop & don't compare them to their peer group -

This thread has made me feel
A lot better. I don't have many friends but the ones I do all have "perfect" children with no Health issues and academic delays, same goes for most family members.

I know I may sound silly but this thread has made me realise it's not just me, which I knew deep down but having people comment and explain more about DLD and eczema and advising on DLD and creams has made me reflect on things more positively