To Complain About the Music Teacher

[TootleFlootle]

(Sorry it's rambly)

DD, 10, in year 5, has optional music lessons at school that I pay for. She’s been doing them for about a year and a half. Over the past few months she’s been finding that she likes the teacher less and less. There’s no major issue really, I think she’s just a bit of a grumpy teacher, but my daughter’s not really enjoying the lessons anymore, because of this teacher, so I’m wondering if it would be unreasonable to write an email, and if not, what should I say?

As I said no major issue… but every week now my daughter has some small complaint about her lesson.

I should probably point out that her lesson time has been changed and so she now misses pretty much all of her lunch break. They only get a morning playtime and playtime after lunch (no afternoon break) so I’d guess that this is a big factor in making her feel less positive about the lessons.

She says that the teacher isn’t very nice and is strict – the only example of this she can give me is her and her friend (that do the lessons together) have been told off for chatting/ maybe being giddy. Fair enough – but they’re sacrificing their playtime, I’m happy for them to take it less seriously if it means the lesson can be fun.
In my daughter’s words “she gets annoyed when we talk too much, or laugh”. According to all of her class teachers DD’s behaviour is pretty much perfect, she’s not one for messing around or chatting too much in any of her other lessons.

She said her friend was made to play one bit over and over again, on her own, because she was struggling with a tricky bit. Doesn’t sound too bad I suppose, but the friend wasn’t happy, and the way she first explained it, it sounded a bit mean.

Today they were told they sounded ‘painfully flat’. Fair enough, but perhaps not the nicest way to go about it? Maybe because she’s a ‘painfully shit’ teacher?

A few weeks ago the teacher didn’t show up, and no replacement was sent. School were apparently informed but failed to let the girls know so they waited for their teacher for the whole of their lunch break. Not the teacher’s fault, but surely a replacement should have been sent, pretty sure we don’t get a refund for that lesson.

In the past when there’s been a different teacher, my daughter comes home excited from school because the teacher actually played the instrument that she’s teaching. Apparently the teacher usually doesn’t play along with them AT ALL. I also learnt the instrument as a child and my teacher used to play along with us all the time. How can she teach the instrument if she doesn’t demonstrate?

And she’s apparently often late.

I’ll admit that I’m clutching at straws now, for reasons to complain. I assume she’s just a bit strict, old fashioned, I don’t know, but basically my daughter isn’t enjoying music lessons because of her. Is there any point in sending an email to the music department? They’re not going to change the teacher or the time of the lesson are they? I don’t want the teacher to treat my daughter worse because I complain. I’m happy for my daughter to stop the lessons, but she said she’d like to carry on if it was a different teacher. She actually said that she likes her less than a certain teacher at her school that has a reputation for being a bitch...

I don’t know what to do.

I'd pull her out of in school lessons and.go private

Perhaps taking dd friends too

It took a few years for me to find a tutor I connected with. We don’t have the same music preferences or anything like that. I like her teaching style. Playing an instrument is a discipline and so it can be frustrating.
With regards to playing a section over and over again, this is something that does actually work and is practiced by a number of teachers. I read a book that confirmed it too (talent code)
I would suggest maybe looking for an alternative tutor because if she isn’t connecting then it will be a waste of time and money

Its usual in a school setting to alternate the time of the lesson every week. My poor HOM spends many hours trying to accommodate all teachers and parental requests and school trips and tests etc. etc. to create my timetable. This also involves not hitting the same core lessons each week and less able children are allowed to miss fewer core than others. Frankly its a nightmare, but it does mean that they also only miss lunch/break probably once a term unless the parent has specifically requested it.

Also don't stress about the not turning up one week thing, you usually pay for 30 lessons in a year which unless its a private school with ridiculously long holidays that is fairly easy to fit in so you won't miss out on lesson, although it was bad form not to tell the kids.

However, it does sound like the lessons themselves aren't suiting your DD, whilst I do teach in schools I much prefer my private teaching and the kids are in a better frame of mind for it as it is a fixed time each week and they are not missing playtime or lessons to do it.

I would start looking around for a local teacher and give notice to the school. Also as much as I'm sure your DD enjoys learning with her friend group lessons aren't always the most effective.

So you want to complain because your daughter and her friend want to muck around and the teacher is taking her job seriously? And because the teacher can instruct without joining in? And because she realises that practice actually does make a difference whereas playing something wrong and giving up is pointless? Oh and because your daughter doesn't like her and thinks she's worse than the teacher who's a bitch?
Oh yes, you go ahead and complain. I'm sure they'll change everything for you.
I know what I'd do and it would involve your daughter learning to behave in a lesson, regardless whether it's in her free time or not.

I gave up paying for lessons at school because they took up so much time out of other lessons, then the DC got grief for missing work.
If your child is musical and keen to learn and practice, it is worth finding a private teacher.

Sounds like your DD is losing interest and is blaming the teacher, don't automatically assume she is being completely truthful.

To be saying teachers have a reputation for being a bitch is pretty nasty- I hope you said this and not DD

Does your child practice at home. Is she really into it?

Your child is being disruptive chatting, in turn this will be disruptive to the other children who are taking music because they want to I earn, when they carnt kearney due to your dd the other parents are wasting their money. My DS is serious about his music lessons, if thee was child disrupting the lesson I was paying for like your dd is I would be putting in a complaint if she dosent want to learn pull her out for everyone else's sake.

So your DD is being told off for being chatty and you think it's the teachers fault?

My own kids had music lessons and they got told off a few times for mucking about. I told them if they wanted to continue they'd better bloody behave, the teacher is there to teach them not put up with them being daft.

If she's not enjoying it she needs to stop. If she enjoys it she needs to pay attention and stop mucking about.

If your dd is practising every day and enjoying playing you could find a private teacher.
We didn't have replacements sent from the LA, the lesson was either made up during the year or the bill adjusted accordingly.
If the kids don't get long for a lesson and the teacher would like the girls to progress then they won't be happy if the kids are playing up.
There's plenty of fun to be found in music without disrupting your lesson.
It sounds like neither girl wants to do it tbh.
FWIW what would you actually complain about?

I’m not seeing anything that would generate a complaint you are justifying your daughter mucking about because it’s lunchtime and that the teacher teaches without playing along. Tbh I’d be telling dd that you are paying for these lessons so she better bloody well stop chatting and take it more seriously.
Ds1 gets lessons at school and private for another instrument. The school ones aren’t ideal and they are expensive and we don’t get to choose the teacher but that is our only option because we don’t have many private teachers around here. So you either tell dd to suck it up and learn to deal with someone she doesn’t necessarily like, she quits or you find a private teacher. The secrete third option is not to complain about a person doing their job and who doesn’t appear to be doing anything wrong b

If you complain the teacher will probably sack you off/give notice rather than continue with a disruptive pupil, certainly preferable to making your childs life difficult.

One child complained my dh threw a music stand at her, even though the room was next to the heads and no way would he do this.
He didn't blame the head because they have to take the child/parents word.
He gave his notice and those wanting to learn came private, less hassle than lying children who didn't want to play.

What's wrong with being told that you're 'painfully flat'?

You do seem to be looking for a reason to complain - and you certainly haven't found anything suitable yet.

We don't know my DD is being disruptive, as I said, her behaviour is apparently almost perfect in school, which gives me the feeling they're being told off at the slightest thing, there's only the two girls - the other two quit not long after starting. Obviously I don't know, maybe they are messing about, I'm only going off what DD tells me.

Honestly, she doesn't love it in a big way, she doesn't practice more than a few times a week, but she's making some nice progress so it'd be a shame to quit if there was a solution.

The comment about the bitch teacher - yes that's nasty but she's proven herself to be uncompassionate and I was trying to make a point. I didn't use that phrase with DD, but she does have a rep, she's made many kids cry, many parents dislike her. She's upset my children and their friends a few times. I was trying to gauge what the music teacher was like when DD described her as not nice and simply asked how she compared to said teacher.

Okay, a few things.

Music teaching styles vary a lot, some teacher are more light hearted about it than others, not necessarily correlated to teaching quality in any way. It's not something to complain about as such, but if this teacher isn't being a good fit for your DD and vice versa, very reasonable to ask school if they have a different teacher she could try (though primary school probably only have one - but head of music suggests it may be a very big school or private?) or try a different teacher out of school.

If she's missing lunch break every week yes I'd probably want to check that's not forever. Fair enough everyone has to take a turn, but check if they swap again e.g. next term.

Joint lessons is really difficult to maintain for long as each child will have different strengths and weaknesses and progress at a different pace. So maybe your DD would enjoy/progress better with individual lessons soon. Would also reduce the chatting.

It's not normal for a substitute teacher to show up if your teacher misses a lesson. It doesn't usually work well to mix teachers as they don't all work the same way. You should normally get money back/extra lesson at end of term/charged one less next term if one is missed by the teacher but check your contract. And yes it is unfortunate that it didn't get communicated, though I wouldn't complain as a one off, stuff happens.

Does she practise, does she enjoy playing, is she making progress?

(X post)

OP, the music teachers I know would tell your dd to go away if she was talking, chatting, giggling through her lesson. Of course that's disruptive and very rude.
Unless she is prepared to practice every day for the suggested amount of time she'll stop progressing and give up anyway.
What instrument is it? I would imagine if working towards grade 1, practice will be between 15/20 mins a day 7 days a week.

Your DD is disruptive she chats during class, you are looking for excuses to complain based on a 10 yr old disliking a teacher of a subject she's lost interest in.
Don't be that parent who can't accept their little darling isn't perfect.

My DD school have cut back on music lessons with only piano available. So had to get private lessons and found someone on Love2teach. The tutor is great, really friendly and I've heard massive improvements!

I think there are two possibilities here.
Either your child is bored of music lessons and blaming the teacher is an easy option for them, or
your child is very keen to learn the instrument but the teacher and your child don't work well together.
Either way just stop the lessons and then you can decide whether to get a different teacher or not to bother.
We've had a series of instrumental teachers for our 2 DSs, some have been brilliant, some less so. If your child is serious about learning an instrument then the teacher is critical.
Regarding criticism - I'd prefer an honest teacher with high standards. DS1 was told at one lesson he was playing a (grade 8) piece as if it was 'an ice cream van jingle' - a bit harsh but the point was made.

I manage the private instrument, acting and singing lessons at the Independent school I work at. At this school the lessons are scheduled across the school day for the first lesson a student has - on different days/times so they don't miss the same lesson more than once in a 6 week period. The lessons before or after school or during lunch are like gold dust and reserved for students in public exam years or who learn more than one instruments. Both you and your daughter need to be happy with the teacher. If there is more than one teacher for the same instrument perhaps she could swap but there will be a date by which you have to give notice to stop with the current teacher. The teacher surely must be a specialist in the instrument that they are teaching?! There should be someone like me at the school who you can contact and who will sort everything out. the most important thing is that your daughter enjoys the lessons and wants to play the instrument. Not much point otherwise.

Either stop the lessons or accept things as they are. There really is nothing at all for you to complain about without looking a bit daft.

I would pull her out but don't complain. It sounds like your DD isn't enjoying her lessons but the teacher hasn't done anything wrong.