To Complain About the Music Teacher

[TootleFlootle]

(Sorry it's rambly)

DD, 10, in year 5, has optional music lessons at school that I pay for. She’s been doing them for about a year and a half. Over the past few months she’s been finding that she likes the teacher less and less. There’s no major issue really, I think she’s just a bit of a grumpy teacher, but my daughter’s not really enjoying the lessons anymore, because of this teacher, so I’m wondering if it would be unreasonable to write an email, and if not, what should I say?

As I said no major issue… but every week now my daughter has some small complaint about her lesson.

I should probably point out that her lesson time has been changed and so she now misses pretty much all of her lunch break. They only get a morning playtime and playtime after lunch (no afternoon break) so I’d guess that this is a big factor in making her feel less positive about the lessons.

She says that the teacher isn’t very nice and is strict – the only example of this she can give me is her and her friend (that do the lessons together) have been told off for chatting/ maybe being giddy. Fair enough – but they’re sacrificing their playtime, I’m happy for them to take it less seriously if it means the lesson can be fun.
In my daughter’s words “she gets annoyed when we talk too much, or laugh”. According to all of her class teachers DD’s behaviour is pretty much perfect, she’s not one for messing around or chatting too much in any of her other lessons.

She said her friend was made to play one bit over and over again, on her own, because she was struggling with a tricky bit. Doesn’t sound too bad I suppose, but the friend wasn’t happy, and the way she first explained it, it sounded a bit mean.

Today they were told they sounded ‘painfully flat’. Fair enough, but perhaps not the nicest way to go about it? Maybe because she’s a ‘painfully shit’ teacher?

A few weeks ago the teacher didn’t show up, and no replacement was sent. School were apparently informed but failed to let the girls know so they waited for their teacher for the whole of their lunch break. Not the teacher’s fault, but surely a replacement should have been sent, pretty sure we don’t get a refund for that lesson.

In the past when there’s been a different teacher, my daughter comes home excited from school because the teacher actually played the instrument that she’s teaching. Apparently the teacher usually doesn’t play along with them AT ALL. I also learnt the instrument as a child and my teacher used to play along with us all the time. How can she teach the instrument if she doesn’t demonstrate?

And she’s apparently often late.

I’ll admit that I’m clutching at straws now, for reasons to complain. I assume she’s just a bit strict, old fashioned, I don’t know, but basically my daughter isn’t enjoying music lessons because of her. Is there any point in sending an email to the music department? They’re not going to change the teacher or the time of the lesson are they? I don’t want the teacher to treat my daughter worse because I complain. I’m happy for my daughter to stop the lessons, but she said she’d like to carry on if it was a different teacher. She actually said that she likes her less than a certain teacher at her school that has a reputation for being a bitch...

I don’t know what to do.

Most of DS's music lessons are at break times now as well. They are deliberately organised that way to minimise disruption in Year 10. We are seeing that he is finding it markedly harder to concentrate in music lessons and we are also seeing silliness, in his case it's in the lesson after his music lesson, I think just because he needs some down time and hasn't had any. He is moving to after school lessons after half term because it's clearly too much. Just wondered if the real problem with your DD might be similar?

I’ll admit that I’m clutching at straws now, for reasons to complain ...

Well, there are only 2 things you can do:
(1) Tell your daughter that of course if she doesn't get to have as much fun as she wants in these lessons she doesn't have to do them any more.
(2) Tell your daughter that you don't always get to do everything your way with people you like, and that if she wants to keep learning this instrument, she has to keep going with this teacher at least to the end of the school year.

You have literally no grounds for saying anything to the school. The teacher has done nothing except her job.

Why on earth is your daughter chatting in a music lesson? That’s the issue. Not the teacher.

For music lessons to be useful the pupil has to really want to learn otherwise they are pointless

Your daughter doesn't want to do the lessons. That's not the teacher's fault. Pull her out and stop wasting everyone's time. If she wants lessons somewhere else, and you agree, then do that. But no, no grounds for complaint.

Doesn’t sound like the teacher hasn’t done anything wrong. SOunds like your daughter isn’t enjoying it and you might as well quit, or look for a new teacher. Some teachers are strict, if she’s not w good fit then move on.

It is odd that her lesson is always during lunch, unless hers is the only lesson. Every school I’ve worked in has had children on a rota so they don’t always miss the same lesson. This might be worth querying.

You say she isn’t practising much but is making progress. I suggest that this means
1)the teacher is pretty good, actually
2)your daughter doesn’t really want to learn much.

Is she learning the cello?

If there are only three kids taking lessons, that means missing the same academic lesson every week - putting them into a break solves that (and the teacher then probably has to travel to another school, then another).

You're lucky that somebody has agreed to come for just 20/30 mins a day, as the majority of Music Services won't entertain that on the grounds of it being uneconomical. Even at the individual lesson rate, that means they're turning up for the grand sum of around fifteen quid (around a tenner for Music Service staff). It's not worth it financially, especially if they have to pay to park or use public transport, but most peris feel bad at the thought of kids not having access to tuition.

Does an element of frustration with a kid who messes about or gets the huff about being made to slow down and play a tricky phrasing properly, then speed up only when it sounds better sound a little more understandable in that knowledge?

It's not a 'listen to the incredibly talented music teacher' session - it's an instrumental lesson, which means being able to hear yourself, especially when you're flat/sharp and being able to correct your pitch. If she were playing along, it would mask the sounds they are making, for a start.

The missed lesson will be made up.

But it might be that your DD isn't suited to the instrument (it sounds likely to be a classical one - violin is the one most likely to sound painfully flat, IMO)/at the moment isn't ready for learning. If that's the case, it's best to give notice so you won't be renewing at the end of Set 2 (if you haven't missed the cut off date for cancellations already, in which case, you'll be contracted to pay for Set 3. It's up to you whether she attends it, but you'll still have to pay it in that case). Many kids start on one instrument, but find what they actually enjoy playing through trying other instruments. It's how we end up with great bass players, as almost nobody teaches that to kids, so they've probably started with piano, violin or possibly guitar before finding at the age of about 14 that their place is standing at the back, looking cool and holding it down

I don't think you have grounds for complaint on the basis of what you say - but would be perfectly reasonable to give notice.

Teacher sounds like she may be a musician rather than a teacher.

I’ve just pulled my dc out of piano lessons because of lots of little things like you have mentioned. We are now starting with a different teacher. I want the lesson to be fun and not be anxious about mood of teacher or whether they’ve practiced enough.

Don’t bother with email just do it privately. I don’t let my dc miss their breaks for anything I have control over. It’s not fair. Good luck

I can't really see this complain taking:

"Dear Head,
I am writing to complain about the music teacher. My daughter is being told off for messing about and chatting during the lesson. As the lesson is during lunch time she needs to mess about and chat and a good teacher should know this..."

And it's a standard technique from the beginning that if a bit is especially tricky you play it over and over again. It's a great way of improving. All some children want to do is play the easy parts and they don't improve because they're doing the bits they can do.

Do stop it for the teacher's benefit. You may find your dd's partner is very relieved if she wants to learn without being distracted.

Just be blunt with your daughter- does she want to continue or not? If so, find some private lessons. If not, just stop. You say she barely practices but she's making good progress- how can you tell? I'm a teacher, albeit not a music one & it's SO irritating when children mess about & talk when you're trying to give them instruction - lunch break or not. The teacher doesn't sound particularly inspiring but then your daughter doesn't sound that committed, so you'll just have to make a call. Don't email your flimsy excuses & be THAT parent.

We switched to lessons before school at 10, the teacher was fine with 8-8'30

I nearly complained about DD1's recorder teacher recently and I would have had very good grounds to do so.

Who the fuckedy fuck teaches the world's most noisy 7 year old to play fucking Baby Shark badly... on a fucking recorder?!

The school teaching staff generally visibly cringed with pain at the idea of it and then burst out laughing when they found out what had been going on in the recorder club.

Sounds like your daughter is irritated because of her lunch break.
When I was 8 I used to have violin lessons which I loved. But then a new programme started called ‘the demon headmaster’ I was unable to watch it as it clashed with my lessons. All my friends were talking about it and I began hating my lessons. My mum cancelled them shortly after.

I think it’s vety unfair to call this person a shitty teacher because your DD has given you some minor complaints accompanied with ridiculous examples.

But I also think children need their lunch break.