...to think he still wants me?

[FigRollTime]

Back in early December, a male friend and I became close but nothing happened because we both have partners and children. We never spoke about our feelings but I think it was obvious to each other. We’re still friends and are still with our original partners.

My question is, if he had strong feelings for me in December, is he likely to still have strong feelings for me now or can these things just disappear?

If it helps and for context, he’s a very logical, rational person. He thinks everything through and never makes rash decisions. He will be following his head in this matter.

Can men turn their feelings on and off? Will he still have feelings for me?

Thanks.

I doubt he was ever very interested as he didn't say anything to you. I once had a friend who imagined an unspoken relationship with a work colleague; she was so invested in the fantasy that she refused to get counselling etc. It all came to a head when she wouldn't stop calling and texting him about nothing, so he had to ask her to stop or he'd get a restraining order. She still claimed after that that he harboured feelings for her, which is where I gave up on her entirely. Try to see what's really true; you have an actual partner. Will you work on that relationship or split up so you can both find someone else? That's the only important choice you have, everything else is just fantasy.

I’m just wondering if he’s hurting like I am. Probably not is the consensus.

So you love him but will feel better if he is in pain?

That's not love. That's your ego wanting to stroked.

If I my dp spoke and thought about me the way you do about your partner, I would tell him it's over. It's so awful.

Why not leave your partner and let him find someone who wants to be with him. You obviously dont love him either.

Ugh just thought about the title of your thread. Totally self indulgent! Not "I don't want to hurt my husband" or even "OM has moved on and I'm sad".

Your husband deserves to be with someone who loves him.

You don't even feel bad about your previous behaviour or a potentially very damaging outcome.

Grow up and get your head into real life Ffs.

You need to forget this and try harder with your husband