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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to hate baby language

107 replies

PorridgeLove · 24/03/2019 18:26

DS is 2 years old . We have just talked to him in a normal way and his language has developed very well. At nursery, they talk to the kids in a normal way, too. It drives me bonkers when someone talks to him in a baby voice or uses baby language. He does not enjoy it either because, frankly, I think he does not understand what they are trying to get at.

AIBU to be annoyed when family and friends try baby language on him?

OP posts:

Sassenach85 · 26/03/2019 12:38

Welllll yes I suppose if we were analysing, I do associate it with my own childhood etc which I am forever trying to distance myself from lol. Although that may be too deep for this thread I do love a bit of baby talk mind you just not ridiculous words as PP's have noted.

Pieceofpurplesky · 26/03/2019 12:47

'Iya' rather than hello and 'ta' really bug me. The worst ever was a mum who taught her kid 'moo moo' 'woof woof' 'neigh neigh' etc for animals. It's way easier to say cow, dog and horse!

GrumbleBumble · 27/03/2019 09:18

i quietly seethed when my DS came home from preschool using silly names for fingers - Peter Pointer etc.

*I’m not entirely sure why.

Using figurative, descriptive, creative language is a huge skill for later life. Why wouldn’t you want it encouraged at nursery level?*

Because he was made to feel that "his" words index, middle, ring were wrong. When he discovered that his little finger and thumb had names he wanted to know names of the others so we told him the real ones. Preschool then made him feel like he'd made a mistake.
We play with language all the time, we rhyme, we use nonsense words, we use synonyms. He was assessed at four and had the over all language skills of an 8.5 year old and the vocab and grammar of an 9 year old. I read to him everyday from birth, I used the his language plus one approach when talking to him (if he said dog I would say big dog, if he said big dog I said big, black dog etc). His language skills are great he's in KS2 and exceed in English so not being taught little finger rather then "baby small" has done him no harm (and at eight he knows it's also called a pinky, that it's a digit.

LaurieMarlow · 27/03/2019 09:26

Was he, did they, or are you just massively projecting? Did nursery really tell him categorically that he was incorrect to call it an index finger?

GrumbleBumble · 27/03/2019 09:56

I didn't say they told him it was wrong, I said it made him feel he was wrong. He came home and told me that's not the right name school (aka preschool) say it's called Peter Pointer. I guess they'd ask what this and someone who knew the twee song answered Peter Pointer leaving him thinking Oh I thought it was called your index finger I must have got it wrong. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter but at the time in rankled that he knew the correct terms and stopped using them for some time in favour of cutesy alternatives that only make sense if you know the song.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 27/03/2019 09:58

I agree OP.

I have never spoken to DD in baby speak and actively told people not to.

Her speech is fine and her vocabulary at the age of 5 is amazing, even her teachers have commented on it.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 27/03/2019 10:01

@PieceOfPurpleSky agree with you 100%

I can stand the "ta" and "horsey" thing. The words are thank you and the animal is a horse.

Whenever anyone has done it to my DD I've corrected them in front of her as it is wrong and I'll be doing the same with my new DD.

bruffin · 27/03/2019 10:03

Research on baby language

choo choo is better than train

outpinked · 27/03/2019 10:50

Babies respond better to higher pitched voices. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to babble in a high pitch though...

I don’t like ta, biccie or when people will say the same word twice to try and make it cute like car-car. Never really spoken to my DC like that because it would make me feel like an inarticulate idiot.

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld · 27/03/2019 10:58

I think it depends what you mean by baby talk to be honest. I think a simplified way of saying things in standard language is fine. I actually fine parents who talk to their children as if they are Stephen Fry equally irritating. However, I agree with you that using babyish words like biccy (which makes me wince) is awful. If the child (because they can't pronounce biscuit) asks for a 'biccy', you should answer 'Yes, dc you may have a biscuit' so they learn the correct word or pronunciation, rather than using it yourself. I think though, discriptors by the child are different, in our house, the potato peeler is still known as the 'tisker' courtesy of DS2. (the noise it made as you scrape)

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld · 27/03/2019 10:58

DS 2 is nearly 20btw

Nanny0gg · 27/03/2019 10:59

Whenever anyone has done it to my DD I've corrected them in front of her as it is wrong and I'll be doing the same with my new DD.

If one of my DC corrected me in front of their DC that'd be a whole new issue.

All of my children have grown up fully articulate (as have I) with a fairly large vocabulary.

'Wrong' my arse. They can use the 'correct' words as soon as they're able to.

Nanny0gg · 27/03/2019 11:02

@bruffin

Oh. So it means that all of us doing something our grandparents did and their grandparents did and so on, was actually right all along?

There's shocking.

bruffin · 27/03/2019 11:05

@NannyOgg

It is instinctual so there must be something right about it

BlackSatinDancer · 27/03/2019 11:41

Maybe 'baby talk' is down to nature because, in my experience, most people do it.

I've never heard anyone explain that you have to talk to babies/little ones in that way so it must be generally caused by instinct and therefore be natural.

I get that teaching a LO to say 'ta' instead of 'thank you' is annoying. That isn't to do with baby talk, that is probably that the adult uses that terminology themselves.

SylvanianFrenemies · 27/03/2019 11:50

How joyless.

Simplified language, sing song tones and other elements of motherese support the development of language and broader communication skills. Plus, it's fun and cute.

I'm a Speech & Language Therapist so you can't argue with me! (Smug emoticon)

Originofstars · 27/03/2019 12:01

Never did it with my kid but I do use baby talk with my cat and dog.

Everydayimhuffling · 27/03/2019 12:09

Those people complaining about words like biccy and nap nap: babies find it easier to hear/distinguish doubled single syllables and words ending with e/y sounds. The same is true of dogs, which is why ours have names ending in y and command words are single syllables. Also why they start with mummy/mama rather than mum usually

LaurieMarlow · 27/03/2019 12:10

Grumble the little rhyme that you've dismissed as 'silly' and 'twee' is beautifully equipped to teach him that descriptive language can be used to convey comparative attributes, differing functions and roles, even cultural practices (ruby ring). It also shows him how language can bring things to life via personification. I think it's an absolutely brilliant rhyme personally as it's lots of fun for them as well as instructive on many levels.

But I find that many people on this site have very limited appreciation of this kind of stuff. Hey ho. Their loss.

Lots of things go by multiple names, if he hasn't picked that up already he will very soon. It's how language works. Descriptive versus more functional discourse. Different registers for different occasions. Or simply the inevitable result of our rich linguistic history (romantic/germanic).

Being taught that his index finger can also be called 'peter pointer' can only enrich him. Don't worry, he won't fail his anatomy exams at Uni because he was taught that rhyme in nursery.

Nanny0gg · 27/03/2019 12:29

I get that teaching a LO to say 'ta' instead of 'thank you' is annoying. That isn't to do with baby talk, that is probably that the adult uses that terminology themselves.

Nope. I say 'Thank you' unless I'm being very casual/flippant with people I know. 'Thank you' would be my default usage.

PositiveVibez · 27/03/2019 12:29

I don't mind a bit of baby talk, but my ILs used to do the change word thing. It didn't shorten the word, it just rhymed. They used to call the potty the totty and some such shite. Used to drive me nuts.

I can laugh now DD is older. I didn't used to do it much to our DD though.

We have recently got a dog and I do talk to her in baby talk 🤣🤣 I can't help it. She loves the sing song nature of it and wags her tail like mad when I go o.t.t with it. And she's just so damn cute.

Nanny0gg · 27/03/2019 12:31

Being taught that his index finger can also be called 'peter pointer' can only enrich him. Don't worry, he won't fail his anatomy exams at Uni because he was taught that rhyme in nursery.

You mean we haven't condemned our offspring to a life of functional illiteracy?

GrumbleBumble · 27/03/2019 22:17

But I find that many people on this site have very limited appreciation of this kind of stuff. Hey ho. Their loss.

I greatly appreciate the wonderful and rich variety of the English language, its why I have a degree in it (which a big focus on linguistics and my dissertation on the role of fairy tales). But that rhyme is twee (well actually it nauseating) but that's the wonderful about English the thesaurus offers both sweet and mawkish synonyms for twee!

LaurieMarlow · 27/03/2019 22:36

I have a degree in it (which a big focus on linguistics and my dissertation on the role of fairy tales).

I’ll raise you your Eng lit degree with
my PhD in 18th century literature (lord help me) and you calling it ‘twee’ does not in anyway refute the points I make above.

You are of course entitled to personally dislike it.

FictionalCharacter · 27/03/2019 22:53

I hate it, mainly because my parents never stopped doing it even when me and my brother were adults. Dad had stupid words for things - a sandwich was a saminick, an apple was a harple. Mum used to say (in public) "I need to do wee wees". She'd call me her yickle bubby, or on a really bad day, her ickle-yickle bubby-bubby. She said that once in a pub - I was over 40 at the time. If I objected she'd get nasty.
Hopefully no-one will do this to your son! I'm traumatised!

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