To be pissed off about my goat curry?

[Manikoutai]

In laws are visiting. We live abroad.

On Thursday and Friday, I made several trips to various shops to buy ingredients for a Thai massaman mutton (goat) curry, which is one of DH’s favourite dishes and something I know his parents eat (they’re Asian). Spent a long time pounding spices, doing curry paste, trimming and marinating the meat last night. Everyone knew I was making goat curry for dinner tonight. It’s a slow dish and takes hours to cook.

Today I spent the whole day driving DD to a birthday party and back. Came home at 4pm and immediately started cooking.

While I was ferrying DD around, DH, in laws and DS had lunch and pigged out at an all you can eat buffet.

At 6pm, everyone announced they had eaten too much at lunch and they don’t want any dinner.

AIBU to think this is quite rude considering they all knew what the plan was for tonight? I’m still cooking it, we can have it reheated tomorrow night, but it won’t be as nice reheated.

Disclaimer: I know this isn’t the biggest problem in the world. I’m just curious to know if others also think it’s inconsiderate, or am I being too sensitive (AF and easily irritated).

I think I would take that as permission to never bother shopping or cooking for them again.

Just stare blankly at H and ask him what he has planned. Every time.

Thoughtless at best- very ill mannered at worst.

But it will be nicer today and you have a cooking free day.

Incidentally, your dp can cook. Anyone capable of holding down a job and reading can cook. He just doesn’t want to. Get that fixed pronto, before your children start thinking it’s normal!

It's at times like this I always think 'What would my mother do?'

Because in this case the answer would be throw curry at husband's head.

Is the goat really relevant here? Are you (or they?) goat-est?

Forget about the curry!

Maybe what you need to concentrate is convincing DH that is is more manly and acceptable to offer a gracious apology in these circumstances.

With no apology, they have been inconsiderate bur have made the situation far worse by not apologising.

Make it your goal to teach him this. And next time this happens, he can teach them how it is done, and you can reward him with a lovely smile instead of a scowl!

This is definitely rude, I would blame dh.
He saw your efforts and still suggested/ agreed to the buffet.
Next time they visit I wouldn’t cook.

My sympathy lies purely with the poor goat.

@killpop Is the goat really relevant here?

Only to the extent it’s hard to source goat meat, it’s expensive and a ‘special occasion’ kind of dish.

...but yes, they were damn rude.

They were very rude.
Totally missing the point, but is it ever called goat curry? Did I dream I saw that on tv?

Ah sorry, ignore
It is!

Incidentally, your dp can cook. Anyone capable of holding down a job and reading can cook. He just doesn’t want to. Get that fixed pronto, before your children start thinking it’s normal!

This!

Get DS cooking and sharing tasks around the house before he picks up the same ways. Otherwise in years to come you could be reading a future partner write about their DH who makes water stick to the pan

with apologies for broken bolding.

I agree, it sounds like your DH is very much like his parents.

Unfortunately some people can't help themselves when they see an all you can eat buffet. All self control goes out the window and they pig out until fully stuffed!

Curry does taste much better the next day though.

Utter bastards, they don't deserve the curry. You'd best send it to me.

YABU to ruin any kind of curry with goat 🤢

DS loves cooking, so that’s not an issue.

And I agree DH could cook, he just doesn’t enjoy it, doesn’t feel confident in the kitchen so it takes him ages. I enjoy it, I don’t resent it normally, but I resent cooking if no one wants to eat.

What have you & your daughter eaten today?

Will you still be having the curry?

It's not a waste in that it will be eaten at some point, but it's so thoughtless of them.

Whose idea was it to pig out at lunch knowing that a cooked meal had been prepared for later?

Say nothing. Freeze the whole thing, and let them all fend for themselves tomorrow ‘since they’re all so full’. A bit of cheese on toast will do them no harm at all.

And feel free to spend most of the day elsewhere, eating whatever suits you. Not in a sulky strop, just cos you ‘forgot you had plans’. It happens, right?

It’s a odd one

They didn’t ask for goat curry
You decided to do it. Nice of you, but it was your decision.

They were hungry and fancied all you can eat. So they did it. It didn’t fit in with your plan but it fitted it in with them.

Their mistake (which they should apologise for IMO) was choosing a restaurant with an 'all you can eat' option. It is very difficult NOT to pig out at one of those.

The curry will be eaten tomorrow. I just need to find a way to store it in my tiny fridge.

I’m happy to have humus and crackers for dinner tonight.

DD and DS had tuna pasta bake for dinner - I’m not sure they’ll like the curry so had made PB as a back up for them.

DH has now, unprompted, said sorry!

They didn't ask for the goat curry.

However the DH was presumably aware for 3 days that goat curry was on the cards and had plenty of opportunity to say 'no thanks, does fit with plans, it's too much hassle for you'

When he was out and hungry he also had the opportunity to remind everyone 'don't eat too much, Manikoutai has spent 3 days preparing our fave meal this evening'.

Instead he took everyone to an all you can eat buffet.

Very rude of them. But the curry may improve overnight.

Next time they come, your dh does the cooing, I suggest, and/or ferries people about!

Can you put the it in Tupperware and put in the freezer and reheat the next day so none of it is wasted?