Just had a raging argument with DP over the stupidest thing

[Spaceunicorn6789]

And I'm literally raging. And we never argue. Bicker from time to time but never full blown arguments.

Speaking about DPs brothers wedding and how theyre being pressured into inviting people they don't want through family politics etc.

Cue speak of our wedding and DP wanting to invite all and fucking sundry. Friends I've never even met who he hasn't seen since school... Distant uncles who we saw one Christmas 7 years ago and not a peep since... Ex girlfriend parents?!?!

The most ridiculous thing is, we aren't even engaged () so it was a stupid fucking argument anyway but I'm now furious that if we do get married it's going to be a fucking party for him with 10 people I actually know there and I'll end up sat in the corner basically.

So anyway I'm sulking over an imaginary wedding and he thinks I'm a selfish cowbag for not wanting him to invite these people to the imaginary wedding. Bullshit.

AIBU?!?!

Tell him you have blown the entire imaginary budget on an expensive imaginary dress and there's no money left to invite Ibiza Bob.
Or anyone else.
The "reception" is now takeaway from local chippy sat on benches in the Park.

I meant imaginary chippy

imaginary chippy 😂😂😂😂😂

This is exactly the reason why we got married alone.

"Stop making up family members" LOL!

Come on OP I’m sure there’s lots of famous people you could invite to your wedding?

@LunafortJest

I like an evening do, me. I don't have to sit through the boring ceremony and speeches and photos and the fancy food I probably won't like and instead get to go to an actual party with dancing and a disco and a bar. It's like a birthday party really. And the buffet is usually of a sausage rolls and potato wedges variety - the foods I actually love - and costs about £100 for food for 100 people, because the daytime guests are too full and drunk to eat any of it. Top tip for an evening do: the bar staff have usually collected all of the spare bottles of wine and fizz from the dinner tables for the evening, but that shit is still there and it's still free! It's just going to waste, so I provide a service by drinking it. ;)

I appreciate it’s all a bit hypothetical at the moment but there will come a point where your views on weddings could really be a test of how ‘compatible’ you both are. I only ever wanted a very, very small wedding (really just for the legal implications), fortunately my DH to be felt the same. I would have struggled to endure a great big wedding if that’s what he wanted to do.

I invited lots of people to our wedding because I felt they had made me the person I was. I sorted of wanted to thank them, I also realised that because of the way our lives were heading I wasn’t going to see much of some of them in the future. It was closing one chapter and opening another. I guess this is how your DP might be feeling?

years ago dp and I had a silly argument like this. Fell out big time over bringing up children and their table manners!

Came out of nowhere. We had no children, weren't planning on children ever really, we were on holiday abroad and had been setting a timer to wake up at the right time so I could take my pill!

When we got home I found out I was pregnant 10 years and two children later it turns out whatever our views are during the argument we worked together to bring them up.

My point is, this situation is all hypothetical. When you do decide to have wedding then you will sit down and work it out together, diplomatically and with real dates, venues and budget in mind.

I'm guessing alcohol had been consumed when this argument took place

This post has really made me smile space unicorn 😂. Nothing beats a hypothetical argument. We too have fallen out over imaginary lottery wins and a job 😳.
I hope you’re currently tracing the midwife who delivered you for her invite!

Are you pissed?!

Have the conversation when you're sober and discuss the finances in detail!

Lol. I love a good argument about an imaginary situation. It's a bit frustrating though when dh insists something was real when it was imaginary.

Maybe you are upset because you subconsciously realise he hasn't proposed because he's waiting to be rich enough to invite 500 people to Manor House wedding.

He doesn't get to invite people to your imaginary hen! Got to draw the line there.

Our biggest hypothetical argument has been over whether our future children should share a picture-only advent calendar as is right and correct, or have a frankly profligate and unseemly chocolate calendar each, I was FURIOUS 😂

DH and I had an argument over breastfeeding our imaginary children back when we first met when we were 19. I was adamant I wasn't going to and DH was adamant I was.

Neither of us wanted children, had never thought about having children and the very idea filled me with dread and horror. I have no idea what sparked the row but it tumbled on for a whole weekend and I definitely remember yelling that a baby wouldn't be the only thing never allowed near my boobs again if he didn't pack it in.

As it happened by the time we had our firstborn when I was 26 I was very keen to bf and indeed I did for 8 months!

My boyfriend and I made a hypothetical wedding guest list a couple of years before we got engaged. My sister was getting married at the time and we were musing about who we’d invite to ours. Our imaginary budget was 12k and we listed about 200 people.

Within a few days of actually getting engaged our budget had doubled and our guest list had halved Nothing like the realities of wedding planning to make you reconsider how much you really want people there!

That said, ‘my’ guest list is almost double the size of my fiance’s just because that’s the way it’s worked out. I have a lot of big groups of friends who it’s important to me to invite, who are almost all married or with long-term partners, whereas he has much smaller close-knit friendship groups made up of mostly single people.

You don’t have to invite the exact same number of people each just as long as you’re both happy!

Men don't tend to wish each other happy birthday. If he likes them and wants them there, what's the problem?

Even ppl he hasn't spoken to in over 10 years?

Op we had a similar blazing row about child care arrangements for children we didn't have, in fact we had only been together a matter of months. (I love the fact that my point in that ancient argument has come to fruition though and I was of course right :)

If you're jealous of someone else getting married because they are younger and been together less how about you propose to him? Or do you not want to get married to him but don't want them too either ?

This is actually outstanding 😂 dp and I have had bickers, albeit not actual rows (yet), about imaginary baby names. We aren’t even planning on ttc until probably late this year/early next.
FWIW I’m in a bit of a real life version of your current argument. Marrying in July. I have 30 odd day guests and a further 100 for the evening... he has 60 odd day guests and a further 250 for the evening 😂 thank god it’s a marquee in our field, no space limitations! I personally would’ve gone smaller but it’s not just my wedding.

We had one of these too... the hypothetical wedding argument. Ours started over a religion-based potential secondary school for DC1.
My (now) DH texted a friend and teacher of that faith to query what we would need to do to qualify for the school - quick as a shot, "first, you'll need to get married". Cue a massive row over who was coming (or not coming) to the wedding we weren't even planning, and how many people we would have .
Biggest fight we ever had in 25 years. The upshot was we dumped the school but realised we probably did want to get married. So we did, with a tiny wedding. Coming up 8 years now, and that DC has just turned 19.
Funny, in hindsight. But did also help push us along to a place we may get not have gone otherwise.

Haven't rtft, but now you know who you have to make an effort to meet before your imaginary wedding

I've been reading through these answers and they have made me howl! I have also had "arguments" over imaginary lottery wins, imaginary children's names, imaginary childcare arrangements etc and definitely had disagreements over what we'd do with an imaginary lottery win!

Looking at everyone else's answers I think the reason that we get het up about a lot of these things is because either consciously or subconsciously they're events that matter to us (even if the granular details dont), so they always work themselves out in the end :)