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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just face the consequences of non school attendance because this is more important

85 replies

Mumshotel · 23/03/2019 19:28

Ive just had a few wines. Split with abusive husband at Christmas and i just thought fuck it we need a break. Got some insurance money after a horrible car crash. So i bought a new oven, fridge and booked a week in gran canaria and boarding for animals in june. Its not school holidays. I think i might get fined. Aibu to not fucking care anymore???

OP posts:
Bluerussian · 23/03/2019 20:44

Go for it girl. if you are fined it sounds as though it will be worth it and you can afford it at the moment.

Enjoy!

Mamabeartofive · 23/03/2019 20:47

Fuck it! And fuck the school
I'd be surprised if you didn't get exceptional circumstance authorised absence otherwise it's £60 if paid with 28 days!
Enjoy your holiday and well done for getting yourself and children out of a shitty situation
WineThanks

Wolfiefan · 23/03/2019 20:49

If you get fined start a Go fund me (which I normally bloody hate) and we will pay for the fine (and more Wine)
God knows you deserve it for getting out and keeping your kids safe.
Be happy.

Mamabeartofive · 23/03/2019 20:51

@Blondebombsite83
Both parents only get fined if they are still together, and/or go together, I've been fined and my EXDH wasn't informed or fined even though he has parental responsibility of my eldest PHEW Grin

whistl · 23/03/2019 20:55

Put in the form, but with different dates. If you get approved then great ( and you can just get the dates changed), if not approved then go to school for the week applied for and be sick a different week.

I don't know why I am suggesting this!

Ps hope it's not KS1 SATS week

MerQueennotMaid · 23/03/2019 20:57

If your child is 7 is it SATS time? If so, that’s not really ok.

If not, just do it and don’t ask them first! Just call in every day and say “Child is not coming in today, but might be back tomorrow.

Holidays should not be just for those who can afford them during school holidays.

Have a great time!

BigFatGiant · 23/03/2019 20:59

Go for it. I really disagree with this attendance bullshit that British schools are obsessed with. It’s no wonder that adults are killing themselves working 15 hours days for the sake of presenteeism.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/03/2019 20:59

Go,enjoy,I’d be honest with school
You’re exhaused after an emotionally abusive relationship RTA physical injuries
Talk to a sympathetic teacher,be honest.you and kids need a break

cathay123 · 23/03/2019 21:01

I would let the school know. I don't think they really mind the occasional holiday - its the people who take their kids out every year that are the issue. Don't phone in sick - the school will probably find out (usually the other kids say something) and then it might be awkward for your DC. I had a boy who went to Lapland before Christmas but the parents phoned in sick. Then another child went to Lapland and everyone was really excited for them and asking all about it. The other child looked really sad that he wasn't able to share his experiences.

americandream · 23/03/2019 21:02

Yes do it!

And enjoy it.

And I hope your life gets better! Smile

Obi73 · 23/03/2019 21:05

In England under 5 no fine over 5 and statutory school age - £60 per child, per week, per adult - no biggie really and the savings far out way the penalty or go gut exceptional circumstances and see if the head will approve.

PixiKitKat · 23/03/2019 21:09

Go for it!
Does your 7 year old know about the trip? If they do they may end up saying something anyway so I'd just go to the school now and say it's happening

BatFace1 · 23/03/2019 21:21

I wouldn't explain the circumstances to the school. Don't flag up things to them like this if you don't need to.

Just book the holiday, write to the head saying you have booked it as - same old story - it's so much cheaper than in the holidays and that you'd appreciate this being authorised but you also fully understand if they're unable to do that. Which they probably can't by the way - it's not at head teachers discretion any more so it will be unauthorised. A fine is another matter though and you probably won't get one

MarxandMarzipan · 23/03/2019 21:25

don't listen to the people saying ring in sick. Your 7 year old will tell their friends that they're going on holiday or have been on holiday.

kateandme · 23/03/2019 21:40

Jeremy vine covered this this week.and some people to be in holiday time there holidays would be 3000 compared with 800 taking them a week before!so the fine was well worth it.
and also telling of wchoool about special circumstance apparently often bought no sympathy or get outs so I would advice that with all certainty of them letting you off.
you all sound like you need this.go for it.god there are more important things.
p.s make sure you passports are up to date and you keep on top of any changed that "might" be happening!

MissMoan · 23/03/2019 22:02

If you had a child at GCSE age that might have been tricky, but 4 and 7 is great. It sounds like you deserve a bl**dy good holiday! Go, enjoy. It's not like you do this often.

Original poster
Mumshotel · 24/03/2019 02:27

Some really great advice thank you. Sats are in may but i dont think she is doing them this year. She did them last year, she is the youngest in the class. She's in yr 3.

The price is unbelievably different to go in july and my insurance money wouldnt cover it. Plus my job is agency meaning i dont get paid when im off so i need to account for that money too.
Im goung to send an e mail to the head outlining all the reasons ive made the decision and ask for it to be authorised. If it isnt ill pay.

Passports all up to date.

My oldest attendance is 99%. She went in late one day after a hospital appointment. She's also doing really well at school.

My youngest will start school in sep so im of the opinion that after that i couldn't do it anyway as i couldnt deal with the stress of doing this for 2 kids.

Thanks again everyone

OP posts:
Msgiggles30 · 24/03/2019 02:35

Im a teacher and say go for it but would 100% write a letter to the head. Heads in our cluster look at the child's attendance and if over a certian percentage (quite high though i think maybe 95-98%) they authorise it. So worth seeing if your school may do this. People are correct no need to worry about fine for the little one. Have fun!x

Msgiggles30 · 24/03/2019 02:48

Sorry just saw update. Youve got a good chance of having it authorised at 99% Smile

FenceFuckery · 24/03/2019 02:54

I’d totally do it. In fact I am in a couple of months. Pulling mine out for a week to go to Maui - the ultimate mumsnet holiday.

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/03/2019 03:08

As someone who ended her abusive marriage in October, and would LOVE a holiday, I would say go for it and to hell with the consequences.

Your kids need this too, you will all remember what a wonderful time you had and you cant put a price on that. All I would ask is.....have a drink for me Wink

BlackPrism · 24/03/2019 03:38

Just call the day before and say they have chicken pox?

LunafortJest · 24/03/2019 03:39

You have to pay fines for a child not attending school for a week over there? That's ridiculous. Why not say nothing. Go on the holiday and say that you've all come down with a bug. Ring the school from your mobile while you're on holidays. They won't know. Unless you tell them you were on holiday, they can't fine you. Just say that you were all sick.

That's all you need to say.

perfectstorm · 24/03/2019 04:11

Do it. The family holiday will do you all the power of good. I'd just see the fine as part of the cost of the holiday.

Really sorry you've had such a shitty year, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Flowers

perfectstorm · 24/03/2019 04:13

@PyongyangKipperbang Flowers

When I rule the world, Women's Aid will have a holiday provision department.