To move out of London to Northern Ireland?

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I realised the other day that I have been trying not to think about all the reasons I’m anxious about staying in london. I have one 2 year old and another on the way.

I’ve had enough of the stress of living here. I have a large house, very small mortgage and it is lovely in one of the nicest areas in the locality.

Im sick of the crime, stress and pollution. DH and I both have ties to Ireland and we have been to the north before and loved it - city, town and country.

AIBU to want to cash out and run to the hills?

Thinking of near Derry or Belfast.

NI is a great place to bring up dc if you can afford to live in a naice area. The sale of your massive London home would enable that and you'll have money left over for a second home in Portballintrae. Schools in naice areas are lovely, people are lovely (especially compared to London) but there are downsides. Travel is more expensive, a lot less multicultural (although improving) and with a choice of a total of2 universities that are both capped the entry requirements are over inflated. Lots of people leave after graduation as the job market is crap. The weather is crap too. If you read academic literature on Belfast it sounds like a war zone; poverty and deprivation is high, sectarianism rife, MH poor and substance dependency terrible. This will not be (overtly) reflected in the naice areas)

It is bright blue skies here at the moment!

The weather is a hard one, when it’s 17 in NI and 23 in London in the summer, of course it’s better to be in London, however when it’s 36 in London and you’re struggling on the tube and you could be strolling down the north down coastal path in a balmy 24, then that is better!

I did find the dark days of January very hard, was shocked at the effect on my mental health, conversely I love the long June evenings.

Right now I am co-locating a bit so spend about 3 months (most holidays) in London, which in many ways is ideal obviously! Although I think that socially it’s held me back from getting more involved here as I just keep bolting back to London and seeing my friends there.

coco and pineapple I am in the naice town that makes a sort of triangle with yours.

I've been thinking about more pros and cons.

I'm basing this on what I've read on Mumsnet, but it seems like school and home life are much more separate here. I read on MN all the time about schools insisting that children must be accompanied to school right up to the end of primary school, or only allowed to walk home with written permission. I have never heard of a school here doing that. Obviously they have safeguarding policies in place and obvious neglect would be referred to SS but they simply are not interested in the small things. And as for teachers doing home visits for children starting school, I've never heard of that here either, and I can't see parents accepting it. I see these as positives, I think children are their parents responsibility, not the school's responsibility. Also teachers here are far less stressed out than those in England (generalising, obviously) and that can only be good for education.

Negatives are the price of transport. It is often extortionately expensive to actually leave the island unless you have enough prior warning to be able to book easyJet the day the flights are released. I recently priced flying 4 of us to England at short notice for a funeral and couldn't get anything cheaper than £1300 for the date and destination that I needed. The ferry to Scotland is about £400 return and a ferry to France can work out at £1500.

And the weather is an issue, but on a warm sunny day the sheer beauty of the place will make you glad to have eyes to see it.

Isnt NI meant to be one of the happiest places to live in the UK? However kids aren't being 'beaten up at school and assaulted on the buses' in London as a general rule.

OP we moved back to NI 5 years ago from London. No regrets at all, my English DH loves it here.
We live in a lovely village about 20 minutes from Belfast, personally I would find Derry a bit too remote.
Shopping is pretty limited but it’s an easy drive to Dublin. Similar for flights, we often fly out of Dublin as more choice.
Day to day life is slower and simpler. DC go to a great school and we have family support nearby which makes all the difference to our quality of life.
I’m not going to lie though, the weather does sometimes get me down!

When the weather is good it is totally amazing, the North Antrim coast is a sight to behold. It rankles though when you fork out £110 for a National Trust pass and you only get about 10 decent summer days per year, 8 of which are in May so the dc are still at school. My Dsis complains about that all the time. We were going to book for Easter but the weather is not going to be clement it seems.

DH and I were born, and have mostly lived, in Northern Ireland. As DH is ex-forces, we lived in Scotland and Southeast England for a time as well. No comparison for us, we missed Northern Ireland when we were away and looked forward to coming back.
Other people have mentioned both the pros and cons of life here. Although they seem to be talking about North Down and Derry, when everyone knows that the Antrim Coast is where it’s at .
I live on the coast around 30 minutes from Belfast, it’s gorgeous scenery, relatively cheap housing and an easy commute in to the city for work. Schooling doesn’t appear to be the issue here that it is in England, it can be more competitive in Belfast, but in our town all the primary and secondary schools are high quality, I’d be happy for my child to go to any.
If it were my choice I’d definitely pick Northern Ireland, and that’s nothing personal against London as I love to visit it, I just prefer the quieter lifestyle we get here.
I liked a PP’s suggestion about renting the London property out when you get a feel for life in NI.
Good luck with whatever choice you make though.

Link to the traybake thread, anyone?!

This one, I think:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3527870-Which-is-the-tastiest-Protestant-traybake?pg=2&order=

I definatly think you should leave London if you are going off it. We left to start a new life in Cambridgeshire (from London, similar reasons to you) when our eldest was about 6 and the change in the quality of life is HUGE. We now live in a semi-rural village with a river a minutes walk away and horses in a field at the end of the garden. Little village pub but Cambs only 20 mins away for all the action. Kids love it. The schools are wonderful. I dont know anything about NI but if you decide against it but still want to move out of London there are so many lovely places around. I would tentatively suggest not moving to a place for friends or family but because you love it. We know friends who did that only for most people they knew to up and leave for various reasons within 5 years.

I’m really really grateful to everyone who has replied

Whether it’s “go for it” or “think again” it’s incredibly helpful to hear the thoughts of others. Thank you all.

I am poorly (again) but managed to speak on the phone to a friend who is from Newry and another who lives in Letterkenny but works in the NHS in Derry I don’t fancy the hassle of all that.

We do love the West, which is where we have been the most. I play trad fiddle and DH is very outdoorsy and fit. We have friends from Newry, Tyrone, Belfast and L/D (which is lucky I suppose). Everyone fights their corner of NI, of course!

I think it will be Derry or thereabouts for us.

I grew up here and it is just not home any more.

Horror stories and happy times still welcome though!

It’s quality of life for us in a nutshell

If you want to move to Derry or similar, is definitely recommend keeping your house and renting here for a year. You might love it or absolutely loathe it. You might change your mind completely as to where you want to live.

We did this, and I’m SO glad we did. Even though I’m from here, and basically moved back to my home town, I found the first year really tough and was having panic attacks in the Tesco carpark on a semi regular basis. I only survived by telling myself we could go back if I wanted to.

It is really not like just a different part of England, it is a completely different culture in so many ways... and some of those differences you will love and some you will loathe. Theres a thread running at the moment about someone escaping from a very conservative religious family just over in Donegal and people chiming in with similar stories (Protestant and Catholic). Obviously not everyone is very religious, but religion in general is very present here, and London extremely secular in comparison. Neither is right, it’s just quite a profound difference. A lot more Christian education in primary school for instance. Also many people live in deep networks of family and friends that stretch over generations... that’s not to say newcomers aren’t welcome, there are tons of new people in my town, just that you might find it hard to navigate. (I find it hard! Everyone is a second cousin or been holdidaying with each other since they were four or their dads were each other’s best men in 1971 or whatever.

I love it here and I’m not criticising it, neither am I saying that you won’t maybe take tonit like a duck to water... just saying that if you’ve lived in London for much of your life, be prepared for the best AND the worst.

I'd live anywhere rather than London. My dad ft so much the same way back in the 1970s that he took early retirement rather than a stint in London office in the City.

Thanks Biggly. We’ve lived outside of london before and though that wasn’t in western NI we liked it.

DH and I are traditionally minded and are observant RC. I appreciate your mentioning the religious dimension. The panic attacks sound terrible - I’m so glad you’re happy now.

We might well rent it out whilst we have a look. That’s wise in any case and a good move. Your frankness is priceless advice by the way. I’m very grateful that you’ve put so much time into this. At the moment I have a nasty cold and can’t thjnk well so it helps to read some forthright advice and genuine experience

I'd be looking at an area that has a good integrated school

Agree with Biggly, though I've found everyone very tolerant. I have friends in Derry & they do find it tough sometimes-it can be harder with troubles. I'm Ballymena & good for going city & beach daily, great schools.

As you play the fiddle, you must get down to Jonnie Joe's (McCollam's) in Cushendall. Great on a Saturday evening & lots of people brings instruments & sing or recite. It's truly lovely.

In hindsight, I wish we'd moved to Belfast initially rather than coming straight close to family, but feel very settled here, though it did take a while.

I agree with Biggly. I spent the first two years having regular periods of weeks or months where all I could think about was moving back to London. If I was a millionaire and could afford to live in the nicest areas and send my kids to private school I still would, to be honest - but living in NI has given me a bit of that in that we can afford to live in a really lovely area and all the schools are pretty fantastic. But yes, it was really hard at first, it feels like a culture shock. But three years in and I feel way more at home here.

I would recommend Belfast rather than surrounding towns. Moving to Ards or Bangor after being in London might be too much of a shock to he system. Ballyhackamore (East Belfast) was named best place to live in NI, great schools, restaurants and shopping. Upper Ormeau Road area is great too.

I’d move in a heartbeat if I could persuade DP! Great schools, beautiful countryside, a decent sized but accessible city, everything is so inexpensive compared to London, you’d be able to buy a lovely place. We spend a lot of school hols in Belfast - even with flights for us all it works out cheaper because days out, cinema trips etc are so much cheaper in N.I. !

And I would absolutely move to Ballyhackamore, the houses there are amazing. It’s a ‘posher’ area - But for 400/500k you’d be getting a massive 6/7 bed house.

I would not do it, personally - I think you might be bored, and your children would probably have to emigrate in due course, because the economy is flat and job opportunities limited.

I would strongly advise you not to sell your house in London. If you own a large house in a good area with a small mortage, you can reportage it and use the proceeds to buy something in NI (it is that much cheaper, and for a reason). If you still want to move after living there a couple of years, then great - go for it!

I am Irish and I love NI, but...it is like going back in time, both in good ways and bad ways.

When I lived in London I sometimes used to fly back to get my hair cut/highlighted in Belfast/Holywood as even with the price of flights, it was cheaper to get it done here AND I got a weekend with friends and family to boot .

Definitely agree don’t sell your house immediately.

I think if you are observant RC then it would be lovely to have that community here. Although obviously not without controversy!