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Original poster

Not to tell friend I've seen her girlfriend on tinder?

47 replies

louisain · 22/03/2019 18:42

My friend and her GF have been back together a year now.
I'm single so looking on tinder and there she was (friends GF) now there's not many gay women in our area so every time I look it always comes up
"There's no one in your area,please amend settings"
So I know she's only just activated it again.
I'm trying to think of reasons
1.maybe she was bored and just something to do
2.maybe she's with friend and they are just having fun scrolling etc
Would you even mention it?
Aibu not too?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 22/03/2019 18:44

Yes, why wouldn't you? And while there might be an innocent explanation chances are high it'd exactly as it looks

cushioncovers · 22/03/2019 18:46

I would speak to the gf first and see what she says.

SuchAToDo · 22/03/2019 18:50

Yes I would...I would just be honest and say been on tinder and your gf profile keeps popping up...

She's your friend, if her gf is on tinder then your friend deserves to know the truth...

She will.thank you in the long run,

If they are together for ages and then this comes up and somehow she finds out you knew she will.not thank you for keeping quiet...she deserves to know ...if it was your partner on tinder and your friend saw the profile, wouldn't you want to know ?

Screenshot the profile and everything she has put on it, because once she gets whiff that your friend knows about her tinder profile, she will delete it and deny all knowledge and say you are stirring things, jealous of their relationship, trying g to come between them....that's where the screenshots come in (proof to your friend that you are telling the truth )

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 18:54

I didn't want to come across like I'm causing trouble etc
I don't really know the girlfriend enough to ask her.
I've already screenshotted the profile.
What other explanation could there be why she's on?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 22/03/2019 18:55

This is your friend. You don't owe the gf anything

SuchAToDo · 22/03/2019 18:57

I've never been on tinder so I don't know much about it...but does it give you any indication of when the profile was activated or updated (any dates)?

Same reason men who have girlfriends/wives have tinder profiles...she wants her cake and to eat it too..(have a partner while having the thrill of messing around with others)...,I wouldn't speak to the gf at all about this...talk to your friend about it...your loyalty is to her

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:00

She must have re activated it in the last day or so as yesterday morning I had viewed all the profiles and was showing zero other women in the area.

OP posts:
Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:01

It was a bit of a shock as I never thought she was the type (from what my friend says) who would have wandering eyes.

OP posts:
FakeEmpire · 22/03/2019 19:02

Well if she was your girlfriend would you want your friend to tell you?

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:04

I would unless there was a genuine reason why she re activated her account.

OP posts:
MeredithGrey1 · 22/03/2019 19:08

I’d mention it.
My friend came and told me she’d seen my boyfriend on tinder and I was grateful that she mentioned it. As it happened I’d been sitting next to him and watched him re-download it as we’d wanted to see how long we’d waited between matching and meeting up, (can’t remember why we wanted to know) so I knew his account would have been reactivated. But still, I appreciated her bringing it up.

FakeEmpire · 22/03/2019 19:09

I may be biased but the reason is probably the same as why my ex had Tinder... Angry

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:10

I've just gone back on and she's not showing anymore.
Her profile has gone.

OP posts:
Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:13

Actually scrap that she is still on
Just my phone didn't load the first time

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 22/03/2019 19:14

You wont know why she was on it until you speak with your friend. If it was me i would want to know.

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:15

She will have seen me so she will know I've seen her.
Just seems suss to me.

OP posts:
CharlotteFlax · 22/03/2019 19:15

Yeah you've got to mention it.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/03/2019 19:21

Yes I would tell her. Her gf isn't very secretive with her plans to cheat if she is on tinder.

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 19:28

That's a good thing to think of ..if she was gonna cheat on her she wouldn't be doing it on tinder.

OP posts:
ColeHawlins · 22/03/2019 19:31

That's a good thing to think of ..if she was gonna cheat on her she wouldn't be doing it on tinder.

It might be a pleasant thought, but I doubt it's true.

Lots of cheats use apps to find victims affair partners or hookups.

strawberrylollipop · 22/03/2019 19:37

I found one of the school mums boyfriend on tinder - I'm single.
He had super liked me.
He didn't know we were friends as I didnt have her on my Facebook.

I called her & told her, sent her screenshots - she broke up with him and she's now my best friend .....

Toomuchbabytv · 22/03/2019 19:44

Tell your friend, if you don't your not much of a friend IMO

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 20:18

Think I will deffo mention it to her.
Hopefully it's innocent

OP posts:
XiCi · 22/03/2019 20:23

When did you last speak to your friend? Are you sure they haven't broken up since you last saw her?

Original poster
louisain · 22/03/2019 20:34

No they are deffo still together.
We only spoke around 7-8 days ago.

OP posts:
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