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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to tell friend I've seen her girlfriend on tinder?

47 replies

louisain · 22/03/2019 18:42

My friend and her GF have been back together a year now.
I'm single so looking on tinder and there she was (friends GF) now there's not many gay women in our area so every time I look it always comes up
"There's no one in your area,please amend settings"
So I know she's only just activated it again.
I'm trying to think of reasons
1.maybe she was bored and just something to do
2.maybe she's with friend and they are just having fun scrolling etc
Would you even mention it?
Aibu not too?

OP posts:
WaywardTraveller · 22/03/2019 20:40

Do you know their relationship is monogamous? It might not be.
I would speak to your friend anyway. There's potential for things to get awkward, but as you've said, the girlfriend must have known you'd seen her, and if she is cheating, you'll have done the right thing by your friend.

Stickmanslittleleaf · 22/03/2019 20:55

I'd tell your friend. And I'd screenshot it. If it's innocent your friend will just say 'Oh yes, I know, it's...' and hopefully be pleased you told her. If it's not innocent your friend will know and can see your evidence/ sign up and find out for herself.

BlackPrism · 22/03/2019 21:50

My sister uses a tinder of me to find when her Bf is back on there (AGAIN). DP knows though so if you told him it wouldn't cause us any harm but he would appreciate that you tried to let him know if yswim

Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 07:04

Well I've checked this morning and she's 100% gone.
Whether or not she keeps downloading and then deleting so she doesn't see I don't know.
Maybe it was boredom I don't know
At least she's off now.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 23/03/2019 07:09

At least she's off now

Yeh probably got the details of someone already.

HeyNannyNanny · 23/03/2019 07:12

It's not up to you to figure out if the gf has a genuine reason or not - that's between them.
Your friend deserves to have all the information available, and then it's her choice as to if her gf is true, not yours.

Motherofcreek · 23/03/2019 07:16

Has she bloked you?

Bill is a fucker for this. He only puts postcodes out of the area so only women out of the area can see him - including his wife at the time when she was checking to see if he was fucking about.

If she is your mate I’d 100% tell her she was on.

You can tread carefully ..

‘Hi xxxx came across xxx last night on tinder. Are you and her ok?’

Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 07:18

As soon as I seen her I changed my settings to men so I wouldn't be visible to her.
Also you can't block on tinder

OP posts:
Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 07:19

If she was on looking for others then she sees my friend on a sat so she won't leave the app on her phone for my friend to see.

OP posts:
Mamabeartofive · 23/03/2019 07:30

I'd warn your friend that someone is using her gfs pics, could be a catfish situation... should provoke some investigation Wink

BorsetshireBlew · 23/03/2019 07:33

How are you checking again and again if her profile is there? Is she reappearing after you've swiped left? That's weird

Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 08:12

I didn't swipe left or right.
When I seen her I changed my settings to men so male profiles appeared then when I changed back to women the women's profiles appear again

OP posts:
Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 08:12

I know it's deffo not a catfish ..I doubt anyone would search this particular lady out to catfish but you never know.

OP posts:
XiCi · 23/03/2019 09:33

They could easily have split up since you spoke to her 8 days ago though.

Lovestonap · 23/03/2019 09:55

OK, what I would do is text friend. Something like:

I just saw x on tinder! I had no idea you guys had broken up. I'm so sorry, please let me know if there's anything you need. Lots of love xx

SuchAToDo · 23/03/2019 10:08

OK, what I would do is text friend. Something like

I just saw x on tinder! I had no idea you guys had broken up. I'm so sorry, please let me know if there's anything you need. Lots of love xx

^^ do this op,

Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 10:41

@Lovestonap Thankyou that's a good thing to say.
Then I don't look like I'm stirring the pot so to speak.

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 23/03/2019 11:23

Oh yes that's a good idea.

Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 12:55

I was just about to ask if they were still together and they are both out for lunch (checked in on Facebook ) Hmm

OP posts:
OneDayillSleep · 23/03/2019 13:18

Are you sure they aren't in an open relationship? If she's put herself on something like tinder it isn't exactly secretive. A friend of mine was married and dating women online, many of these women had boyfriends and girlfriends too, it was very common. When she told them she was married it wasn't a big deal. I'd maybe casually ask the friend before sending screenshots.

Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 13:27

@OneDayillSleep deffo not in a open relationship
My friend is obsessed with her and the reason they broke up in the first place years ago ..she deffo wouldn't be sharing her.

OP posts:
Original poster
louisain · 23/03/2019 13:27

@OneDayillSleep I checked this morning and she's not showing on tinder anymore so she's gone off again

OP posts:
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