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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nana brings own baby toys

78 replies

Spotsandstripes1 · 22/03/2019 09:32

I really don't know if IABU or not.

I have a 1 year old girl. Ever since she was born, her Nana visits every week or two. Each time she brings a bag of toys to play with baby. And then takes the toys home again each time. AIBU to think this is odd? They are different toys each week and the baby enjoys playing with them. So I'm not going to stop her, but wondered if other people's parents did this or if it's a bit strange? We obviously have toys here at home!

OP posts:
bumblingalongway · 22/03/2019 10:24

That's actually really lovely! Makes me think of my lovely grandma, she used to get a new book out of the library every week to read to me after school.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 22/03/2019 10:25

Toys....that leave the house?
Amazing! Honestly as long as MIL was a good person and a decent guest then I would love this! I wonder if it's something I can try and nudge my family to do.

Noonooyou · 22/03/2019 10:27

Such a lovely idea!

HarrietM87 · 22/03/2019 10:28

Sounds like a brilliant idea to me for lots of reasons - variety for baby, fewer toys in your house, nice for nana to choose and see baby’s reaction. Novelty is the best thing for babies in my experience. Mine would rather play with a loo roll tube he hadn’t seen before than all his lovely toys. It’s much better that she takes them away so that your baby sees them afresh the next time.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 22/03/2019 10:28

I think it’s sweet

LaBelleSauvage · 22/03/2019 10:28

Think this is a great idea! Your baby gets to play with different toys and yet your house is not getting packed full of plastic tat. Think it's very thoughtful actually

Win win!

ApolloandDaphne · 22/03/2019 10:29

I actually think it is a good thing for children to learn that fun things sometimes go away and then come back again. I work with children on a voluntary basis and often take craft things for us to do together then take it all away with me (apart from the completed items obviously). The children have never questioned it or had a tantrum about it but they do often ask when are we doing X, Y or Z again.

Snipples · 22/03/2019 10:32

Love this idea. New toys for baby and no clutter for you! The dream. Also think it's lovely that it's reminded others about the sweet things their Nana's did for them.

oohyoudevilyou · 22/03/2019 10:33

Nana buys toys for baby to play with chez Nana, but since baby doesn't visit her so much, Nana takes the toys with her when she visits baby's home. If Nana leaves the toys when she goes home, Nana would have to buy stuff all over again to keep for when baby comes to visit. Makes perfect sense to me...Why would you think this was not OK?

KipperTheFrog · 22/03/2019 10:34

It's nice for kids to have a variety, but I wouldn't like it. In toddler years itll get disruptive when the toys leave each time. I'd also worry about that grandparent then being associated with constant "gifts" and setting up expectations that may be difficult to manage over time.
The intention is good, its just a case of how it'll be managed.
My MIL is a constant stream of new toys, and it drives me potty as 4 year old DD is starting to expect it. At least shes stopped with the clothes in addition to the toys...

Sizeofalentil · 22/03/2019 10:35

I've got a relative who does this sort of thing - but is very odd about it. Will say "shall we get you a NICE toy to play with?" or "Shall we get you a FUN toy now?" and then ask the baby "Who would buy you toys if I wasn't here? I have to buy you toys because no one else will" - ignoring the three rooms of toys we have for her.

It's a slightly eccentric thing to do, bringing new toys each time and not referencing it, and taking them back, but it probably makes her feel nice and useful and like she has some autonomy about stuff.

3out · 22/03/2019 10:36

It’s a lovely idea :)

MoreThanJustANumber · 22/03/2019 10:37

Does MIL have other GC? Maybe that's why she takes the toys away again and does the same when she visits other children. I think it sounds like a great idea.

bebeboeuf · 22/03/2019 10:39

Is it because she goes to a toy library so they have to go back each week?

TrickyD · 22/03/2019 10:39

We have a load of toys for DGS, 20 months, here. When he and his DPs come to stay , they are welcome to take any away with them, but generally they leave them here for the next time. Similarly when we visit them we take a toy or toys but are quite happy to take them home if that is preferred. We don't want DS and DIL to feel they have to accommodate a load of clutter unless they want to.
Chill out, OP.

CabbageHippy · 22/03/2019 10:40

I quite like it - something fresh each time to look forward to when Nana visits & you don't have the problem of having to store all these extra toys at your house if you don't have much space.

I expect Nana also quite enjoys selecting which toys she's going to bring over next time & maybe enjoys going shopping for some some of them as well

BeerandBiscuits · 22/03/2019 10:42

Really like this idea, will suggest it to my mil Smile.
Unlikely child will have tantrums when they get older as will be so used to nana taking the toys away it'll just be normal.

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2019 10:42

“It won't be all that long before your dd starts to get upset when the toys she has been playing with get taken away from her, especially if she gets particularly fond of any of them”
Good lesson here. The same will happen when friends visit, when she goes to playgroup, when she visits friends......
You have to stretch reaaaaaaaly hard to turn this into a bad thing!

JemSynergy · 22/03/2019 10:43

Can't see the problem, there is so much worse she could do than to bring over some toys for her grandchild to play with! I wouldn't expect my MIL to ask my permission to do this. I am dreading being a MIL they can't seem to do anything right. Sad

PinkZoid · 22/03/2019 10:52

It’s unusual but nothing sinister. I think it’s rather sweet, like Nana’s box of tricks.

notacooldad · 22/03/2019 10:52

why is she filling her own house with baby toys that are only so rarely played with?
She visits every week or two so they are getting played with quite a bit. Also potentially other grandchildren can play with them either now ( if they are any) or in the future.

It won't be all that long before your dd starts to get upset when the toys she has been playing with get taken away from her, especially if she gets particularly fond of any of them. What will Nana do then?
Probably cross that bridge when she comes to it?

notacooldad · 22/03/2019 10:54

You have to stretch reaaaaaaaly hard to turn this into a bad thing!
But the young will, you know that!

Contraceptionismyfriend · 22/03/2019 10:57

If in the future it becomes a problem with tantrums. Then adapt. But right now it could be great. And if it becomes the norm then it's likely that the child will see it as the norm.

KrispyKremes · 22/03/2019 11:01

I think that's a great idea. Especially as they get older.

Means the toys are always novel.

Bellagio40 · 22/03/2019 11:02

Such a great idea!! What is your AIBU, exactly?